Single Mom For God- Thy Maker Is Thine Husband

Frugal Friday- Single Moms and Rapid Refund Loans

2009-02-06T09:02:00.003-06:00

Wow it is certainly good to be back on this blog! I have been feeling impressed lately to start blogging here because since I have been married there is so many things I see that I can share with single mothers as a hindsight experience or a moment to bridge build and encourage! I plan to start blogging here at least twice a week Lord willing.

I have been thinking a lot lately as I have been watching and listening to various tax commercials on TV and the radio, and this enormous push for Rapid Refund Anticipation Loans, and other programs designed to prey on a person's dire financial situations. Single mothers I believe just so happen to be a huge target audience, one because they more than likely are going to qualify for EIC so their refund alone will be fairly substantial, and secondly it's just a time of year that many who are barely surviving financially look forward to. I also believe that the enemy is faithful to snare us with stumbling blocks right before tax time so that we feel the need to make impulsive decisions regarding our money. He keeps us from being a good steward because we think we need help right now or instantaneously.

I personally have never taken out a rapid tax loan, I was going to one year but the costs just seemed too astronomical to me. I finally rested on that I had been waiting all year, and a couple more weeks wouldn't hurt me. You know what, I ended up getting my refund back in about a week and a couple days. The bills held off, and I was able to enjoy all of my hard earned money. The couple hundred dollars I was going to pay someone to loan me money against my money seemed like loan sharking. Eventually I just quit going to tax preparers and start filing online myself using the free versions of online tax software that I received off the IRS website. I personally used Turbo Tax because it was simple, it walked me through step by step and it ran an error check. I have yet to be audited by the IRS and now that I am married I found it even more helpful.

I just wanted to share my thoughts on how I just find it atrocious that single mothers fall victim to this marketing ploy. I mean we single mothers are some of the most resourceful, strong, and smart women out there. ( I say we because I will always be a single mom in heart as being married doesn't erase my past experiences or my love for my fellow single mothers) and every dollar counts. Why pay someone to do something that you can do, and why pay someone to give you something that is rightfully yours. It makes no sense to me either.

I encourage you this tax season that if you haven't done so yet, and or leaning towards applying for a loan against your refund amount pray and consider waiting for another week or so. Ask God to give you the strength and patience to hold out for a few more days. Ask him to give you the wisdom to be a good steward over your tax money as you would your earnings and pay checks. Ask him to give you divine instruction on how to make every dollar count and to resist the urge to fall victim to the "right now" marketing ploy that is targeted to a certain population of individuals who are branded and stereotyped behind closed doors as needy, impatient, desperate and impulsive. You are not that brand. You are strong, resilient and deserve every dime of the money you work so hard for. Now if are in an dire and immediate situation that affects the safety and well being of your children, your home, or your job then I encourage you to do what you need to do, just know that as I stated earlier many times the enemy will throw things our way to make us seem as we need help immediately. It is a trick of the devil. Just think how so many times things start to fall apart the end of December, during January and the beginning of February, during that time when you know you have funds coming. I do believe that if you lean, depend and trust in God he will help you through until you can get your refund back exactly on time, exactly the right amount without having to pay man to loan you what is rightfully yours.

Stay blessed and encouraged! mrs thomas

New Spot

2008-06-25T16:49:00.001-05:00

Just in case you have been wondering where in the world I have been lately??? Well, I am now posting on my new blog. I plan to post here from time to time, but for time's sake I will be primarily posting on my new blog:

A Marriage After His Heart!

Pics and video will be posted there. See ya at the new spot!!

mrs. thomas

Checking In

2008-06-18T17:21:00.003-05:00

Hello All,

I am not sure if anyone will have the chance to read this message or not, but I wanted to report that all is well with my life as a newly wed. It is the most amazing experience I could imagine. I am forever grateful to God for blessing me with such a wonderful husband. The wedding was all that I could imagine and more because God was there with us. And we are finally able to relax on our honeymoon in our quiet, and beautiful smokey mountain cabin in Gatlinburg TN. Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. I hope to post more sooner when I can come up for air;)

ps: I also have this posted on my new blog A Marriage After His Heart

mrs. thomas

5 Days and Counting

2008-06-09T10:49:00.003-05:00

I can hear the virtual ticking in my ear as I race around finalizing wedding plans this week. I keep getting asked the "are you nervous yet" question, and as of today I'm not so much nervous about the marriage as I am the wedding ceremony. I want this day to be as beautiful as possible as so many people have invested so much in it. I feel truly blessed. I had a total of four bridal showers and I walked away from each one feeling loved and the genuine excitement from all those who have been waiting just as anxiously as I have for this day. I am feeling a level of excitement that is indescribable and exhilarating.

I may not have much time to blog this week as there are so many final details to be done so keep me in your prayers I will try to post before the end of the week. Have a blessed day!

Catching Up and Another Idea Solicitation

2008-06-04T10:47:00.002-05:00

Once again I have been horrible at maintaining my blog. As you can see by my trusty counter to the right there, I only have 10, yes 10 days before my wedding. As you can probably imagine my life is a little hectic and fast paced at this point. Next Wed will be my last day at work for a couple of weeks and I have a ton of stuff to do there before I leave to ensure that the building doesn't collapse in my absence. I also have other last minute bridal stuff to do, and I'm failing pretty miserably at it. Nonetheless, none of this peril moves me. I am still happy, excited, nervous, motivated and looking forward to the end of this process and the beginning of my new life.

Even more excited than I am are my girls. They are over the moon and I am glad that they witnessed this process. I do wish that I could have had them the "right way", but since I didn't we have just made lemonade out of our past lemons, and I must say that it is sweet.

I do have a bit of advice to solicit. I am looking for reception ideas. My reception will be void of the traditional worldly fare, but I plan on making it a fun, energized, and happy Christian affair. Being that my creative juices are drying up right now, do any of you have any ideas of some things that we could do besides eat, drink and be merry.... I have music, we have the toasts, the cake cutting and all of that stuff, but I want something more, especially since we won't have the dancing. I really would like to send a message that gathering together to enjoy Godly fellowship and celebrate a holy union doesn't have to involve drinking and dancing and hooking up. Any insight will be most valuable. Have a blessed day!

Makeover Challenge Winner- New Blog Name!!!

2008-05-30T16:21:00.006-05:00

Well folks, I planned on making my announcement tomorrow, but I have a ton of last minute wedding stuff to do, and did not want to accidentally not post. So we have a winner for my makeover challenge. It was so hard to decide but we felt like we wanted my new blog name to represent the desires of our marriage and so with out further ado ***drum roll please**** SingleMomForGod will officially change names after June 14, 2008 to:

A Marriage After His Heart

submitted by Kysha, from Love's School

This name has so much of a deep meaning, not only do I want a marriage after my husbands heart, but a marriage after God's heart. I believe deeply that as long as we both strive towards this desire, our family desires and everything else naturally will fall into place. There may be some bumps and the journey may prove to be rather adventurous nevertheless I look forward to all it has to offer. I especially look forward to sharing my experiences with you. Thank you to all who participated.

Kysha, email me so that I can have Amazon send the gift card to you, and give you more details.

Have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

That's Not My Reflection Is It?

2008-05-29T15:37:00.003-05:00

Lately, I have been in a bit of a tizzy. I will admit that I have somewhat evolved into a baby bridezilla. No, not the full fledged fire breathing, demanding, one, but a pure baby sensitive, thin skinned, frustrated, toddler bridezilla. The funny thing is that I had no clue that I was turning into a little baby monster. I would sit and watch that show cracking up thinking man, I'm glad I'm not bossing people around and just being mean. However as truth always has a habit of coming to light I found that I was being a big baby. I was allowing myself to become overly frustrated which makes me uber sensitive, whiny, and withdrawn and I wan't as friendly as I was thinking I was. As hindsight would have it I could have been less frustrated if I had not alienated (unintentionally) some very dear people in my life and baby bridezilla would have never been hatched. But God is always faithful to show us ourselves even when we don't want to look in the mirror, or even if we are semi blinded by our reflection.

Sometimes its hard to see little flaws, even when people are pointing them out to you. Thankfully God has a big old magnifying mirror which shows you all of the little flaws, open pores, and developing blemishes that we mere mortals don't always seem to have a keen eye for. Really, its a blessing to get a reality check from God. Why? Well he really doesn't have to let us know we have spinach in our teeth. He could let us walk around thinking we are just the cutest little Christians all the while we could have a little bugger that is oblivious to us, but obvious to others. That's the kind of friend God is, and I am eternally grateful that he loves me enough to let me know that I "aint" always as cute as I think. I am also greatful that I humbled myself and allowed myself to see the reflection in the mirror before it was too late. Bridezilla could easily grow into Wifezilla, and God knows that's not who I ever want to be. I thank him for showing me my flaws and giving me an opportunity to die out to those flaws so that I don't take them into my marrige. The truth hurts but I would rather it hurt me now, than for me to hurt my husband later.

I have to dedicate this post to all of my friends that are involved in my wedding somehow. I couldn't be blessed with a better group of friends, of sisters, of family. To have you all be a part of my special day is a Godsend. There could never be enough thank you's to show how grateful I am for what each of you mean to me. Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Makeover Challenge Finalists

2008-05-27T17:40:00.002-05:00

I have been such a horrible blogger lately. Most of you don't know that I normally blog on my lunch break from work as I don't have Internet access from home. Work has been very busy lately so I haven't had the change to blog much. But as promised we (me and my fdh) narrowed down our five favorites. So without further ado, here is the list:

MarriedMomForGod
A Marriage After His Heart
Blending with Him
For His Glory
Marvelous In Our Eyes

The guest judges will be my two lovely little girls. They are excited about this process and so am I!! I will have the winners announced on Friday!! Thanks for participating. Have a blessed day!

Single Mom Make Over Contest

2008-05-15T12:00:00.007-05:00

I am in need of a make-over. Well not me, but my blog is in need of a make-over. Being that in less than a month I will no longer be a single mom, I came to the conclusion that I am going to have to change my blog name. While I still have the desire to encourage single mother's out there, the fact still remains that while I won't be a single mom anymore there is still so much territory to cover in chronicling my transition into my new life. However, after many failed attempts at creativity I have decided (unlike another lady who's running for president,) to bow out gracefully in my attempt to rename my blog.

So, I am conducting a contest, give-a-way or whatever you would like to call it for the new name for my blog. The lucky winner will receive a $20 gift certificate from Amazon.com, ( sorry I wish I could afford the $200 one in the picture but alas I can't:) and the opportunity to guest post while I am away on my honeymoon.

The contest starts today and will end at midnight 05/22/08. My FDH, the girls and I will spend the Memorial Day Weekend choosing our favorites and the 5 finalist will be posted on Memorial Day for a panel of guest judges to choose. I will list the guest judges the same day as the finalist and the winner will be announced on 05/31/08. I will use the new name on 6/14/08, the morning of my wedding.

I am listing the rules here:

Once you have read the post, leave a comment with your idea of a new name in the comments section.
Contest starts today and will end on 05/22/08. Finalist will be named 05/27/05 and the winner will be named 05/31/08.
Please only one entry per person
Gift card will be emailed the same day as the announcement.

There have been so many women who have provided invaluable knowledge and points of views on so many touching topics. I (we) feel so blessed to have read so many informative posts and are eagerly awaiting the creative name for my blog.Thank you all in advance for participating and have fun!

And The Months Go By............

2008-05-14T14:49:00.005-05:00

I have been out of blog world lately on a little medical hiatus. I am happy to report that the surgery went well and I am now tattoo free!!!! Thank the Lord this ordeal is now closed and I can move on with my new life a burden lighter.

Time has seemed to have flown by so fast. I began my courtship in January and today marks the 1 month countdown to my wedding. I can't even begin to imagine where time has gone, all I know is that I have 30 days until I marry the man God personally created for me. While I have been caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, nothing epitomized the realness of this process than the day we went in to get our marriage license. This little piece of paper evoked a flood of emotions between the both of us. It finally set in for me that this is real, and in 30 days I won't be a single mom any longer. I will be a wife, a mother, a help meet, and a follower to the leader of my home. I have no regrets, no anxieties, no desire to reclaim the independence that I have so been ready to depart from.

I loved Terry's post on the need and biblical requirement of interdependence in a marriage. There have been many people who have asked me if I were going to hyphenate my last name and I so gladly reply NO!! I will be my father's daughter until June 14, on that date and thereafter I will be my husbands wife. There is no way I can obey scripture Matthew 19:5 ('For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'") if I still hold on to my father's name and try to join it with my husband as if he is a mere simple hyphenated addition to my father's legacy.

When I get married I have to leave that legacy and join with my husband to create a new one. This poses no problem or threat in fact it's a beautiful and scared requirement that I have prayed to long to fulfill. How can I honor my husband if I am not willing to accept his last name. While it is the norm for a huge majority of women in the professional world, or just the world per say to be Mrs. Such-And Such, I am glad that I no longer identify with this majority. Please remember to keep me in your prayers as the months and Lord willing years continue to go by....

Be Blessed and Stay encouraged

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2008-05-11T16:24:00.002-05:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE LOVING MOTHERS OUT THERE. TODAY IS YOUR DAY! REST, RELAX, AND ENJOY TODAY TO THE FULLEST!

Last Nail In The Coffin

2008-05-05T17:18:00.006-05:00

Last month I wrote a post about tattoos and the after effects in which you can read here. During my wild and rebellious hey day I stupidly got the stupidest tattoo ever imaginable. Now I am saved, engaged to be married in a little over a month, and I have the blessed opportunity to drive the final nail in the coffin that contains my sinful reminders that I don't want to take into my marriage. While even though he knows about this ugly little thorn in my side, I am not sure I want him to have to see my sin plastered all on my body for the rest of our lives so tomorrow, I am going to have my ugly little stupid tattoo surgically removed. Yep, I am going on the chopping block to have them give me a shot of local anesthetics, cut that tattoo off my top layer of skin and sew me back up. Sounds kinda gross, but for me it's a victory. I finally get the chance to get rid of the visual reminder of my sin graffiti.Yes, I know he will accept me the way I am, but this is one of those things that just needs to be buried. No funeral, no memorial, nothing but a plain casket and buried deep into the ground. I ask that you pray for me that this minor procedure will be just what it is: minor.

The more I type, the more I think about all of those sinful little skeletons that are dying to come out of the closet and rob us of our spiritual self esteem. Such is the case with me , and every time I look in the mirror I feel a overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment. This my friends should not be. When I repented of my sins, they were cast as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12), so then why can't I accept that and allow him to cast the guilt and shame from those sins with them. We have to strive( especially as women) to allow those past guilty and shameful trash bags be tossed along with our sins because in essence they only rob us of the true joy and beauty that is associated with salvation.

Have a blessed week and keep me in your prayers. smfg

Weather: Science or Scripture??

2008-05-02T16:53:00.004-05:00

Nahum 1:3 The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.(KJV)

pictures taken from fox16news.com

It seems like lately my poor little state has had so many tornado's. We had one this morning that claimed the lives of seven( thus far). Many have lost their homes and businesses and are just left completely devastated. Some communities haven't recovered from the major twister we had earlier last month. You can read about that one and see the pictures here and here.

This is just a constant reminder to me of God's awesome and unexpected power. In the bible, the whirlwind is referenced 27 times. Of the 27 times it's referenced in Scripture, only twice is it not associated with God's fury. I sometimes ask myself if the recent and frequent acts of nature due to God's fury? Is there a message hidden in the whirlwinds, floods, earthquakes, tsunami's and wildfires? If indeed he is trying to send a message, are we getting it? Or are we so caught up in trying to disassociate the weather with it's prominent relevance in Scripture and associate it more with science?

Many seem to get angry when you associate weather with God but I can't help but to wonder in awe about the spiritual correlation. I'm not saying that God is punishing us with weather, but it's something about man, we just tend to forget to acknowledge his power and we tend to lean more towards scientific explanation. Just something to ponder the old noggin as I try to seek God more than I do the local weather man. And to think we had a low percent chance of rain just a few days ago and a killer tornado once again when we least expected it.

Also if you get a chance, check out my bloggy buddy Terry's Virtual Baby Shower over at Brenda's Place at the Family Revised. It's a treat and a wonderful way to start the weekend!

More Advice Solicitation

2008-04-30T14:34:00.003-05:00

Okay, I have a need for more advice. I don't know if it's because I am getting married,or because everyone around me seems to be preganated ( as my friend calls it) but I have the baby itch...... I will admit, I know nothing at all about planning for a baby as I didn't plan to have either one of mine. And I don't really know how I feel about the topic of birth control. I know I don't believe in contraceptives of any kind, but I don't know how I feel about natural method, AND right not that's not what I am soliciting. My FDH wants a nice size family ( an old testament family as he so jokingly calls it) and of course I do to.

My dilemma that with my girls I worked so much that I missed out on so many milestones. I had great support from my parents, but honestly they raised my babies and not me. I was that mother that had to send them to daycare at 3 months and one at 5 wks, because I had to work and sometimes my work included traveling and or living away from my children ( military). My oldest was born the summer of my last semester of undergrad so I was able to stay with her a little longer, but then once the semester started I had to go away, and my littlest, well I took off so much due to complications, that I didn't have much leave time and I had to leave her at 5 wks. Shortly after she was born, I was called to active duty and had to leave them both for almost a year, that's not to mention how many other times I have had to leave them due to a demanding job. But that is the reality for many single women. You HAVE to work, sometimes you have to make a trade and its not easy. It's not easy when your baby looks to your parents when they are hurting, or sick, just plain old would rather be with them than you. It's not that they don't love you, they just aren't used to your 100% of time and nurturing. I could go on and on, but I wont. It's too painful, and it's the past.

Needless to say, I don't desire to do this again. EVER again. So I am soliciting advice for all those women who left the workforce to come home. I know I want to come home, and we are praying for the right time, but how did you do it? I would love to hear the stories and the encouragement. And being that we had such an explosive post going around last week about the values of being a keeper at home, especially within my race I would love to sop up all the teaching I can.

Breaking The Tradition

2008-04-28T15:15:00.008-05:00

nee nee & mommy at her honor roll ceremony earlier this month!

Yesterday, my eight year old daughter Nee -Nee Pooh said the coolest thing to me. We were sitting at dinner and she was talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She said, and I quote

Nee Nee: " Mommy, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Can I go to any college I want"

Me: " Sure "

Nee Nee: "I still don't know what I want to be, someone wants me to be a doctor, and I sometimes want to be a teacher, I just don't really know!"

Me: " Well, maybe you should start praying for God to show you what he wants you to be when you grow up, that may help."

Nee Nee: I think God just wants me to be a wife.

Me: *sniff, sniff* Yep, I believe that what he wants you to be too.... That's the best job!

I wont bore you with the entire conversation, but my little girl is showing interest in being a wife and homemaker and she has already called her grandparents to inquire how she should word her future wedding invitations.

A couple of years ago, I did and would still be trying to map her life out; honors classes, career planning by 10th grade, high school education with honors, then on to the top colleges for undergrad/graduate school. I would have probably start shoving the "anything a man can do, you can do better mentality down her throat", and I will admit, that I used to preach blatant independence in my house. None of my daughters would ever be totally dependent on a man,but God saw differently and Praise the Lord that he did!

It's a blessing to see that all the hot button posts last week were not in vain! I didn't know she read them, or listened to me talk to my FDH about our hot topic discussions, but I thank God for giving me a more clear direction to pray about and work on with my daughter. She will be turning 9 this summer , so I only have a little time left to teach her the things I didn't know but am learning through biblical knowledge and practical experiences through myself and others. I especially thank him for speaking through her, its always easier to teach someone who has a willing heart. Stay Blessed and Encouraged-smfg

50 Days

2008-04-25T13:47:00.005-05:00

I wanted to take a break from my latest hot topic issue and use my blog today and send a message to my FDH. We have only 50 days before our wedding. Sometimes, time seems to fly by and we wonder where did the days go, and sometimes it seems to move at a snails pace and we wonder when will this day come to be, but looking back at my life, I wouldn't trade these 50 days for anything this world has to offer. All the wedding ceremony hooplah aside, how I feel below is all that matters right now.

In 50 days my life will change for the better. I will have a different calling for my life, a calling that can only make me a better woman for God and my family. I met you a mere 987 days ago. Sometimes 50 days seems like an eternity, but looking back a the 987 days since, 50 days seems minuscule. 987 days I have had the blessed opportunity to watch you grow into the man that God was shaping you to be now, a life time is what I will have to watch the finished product take its form. Watching the potter is an awesome thing, being half of the clay is even better. When the enemy tries to over throw us with how far away our day seems to be, we can remind him of the 987 days that God carried us through to bring us to these 50 days and counting ....... Always, your FDW

Have a Blessed weekend!

Who Then Will Teach Us?

2008-04-24T13:28:00.006-05:00

I was pondering a lot last night about the course of dialogue between myself, Terry and Mrs. Henderson yesterday. Between the three of us we had some pretty explosive point of views on the lack of African American keepers of the home. While it certainly was not my intent to sound so radical, I will be the first to say, I am the different one of the bunch. I work outside the home. Working for me is a necessity because I am one of the single parent statistics. Do I like working? NO, would I love to stay at home and be the mother God has called me to be? Absolutely! When I get married am I praying for God to open doors for me to say Hasta' La Vista' to corporate America? You better believe I am.

I believe with all my heart that we are all apart of God's kingdom, and we are all one race. However, the reality is that the society that we live in doesn't identify solely to the human race, we are different races, colors, cultures, ethnicity's and so forth. While I love all people regardless of any of the fore mentioned, I have to come to grips that God made me to fit in the African American box, it's who and what I relate to. I live with it every day and I have to accept that is what and who I am. I couldn't tell you what it's like to live the life of any other ethnicity but my own. So therefore I am passionate about the causes that affect my race. I am passionate about the causes that affect all people, but am I wrong for being passionate about the causes that affect the box that society labels me???

As we were driving to bible study last night, I asked my FDH if my post yesterday seemed a little radical? " A little" he replied. Good, I thought to myself. Sometimes it takes a little ruffling of feathers to get the truth out. This is one of those elephant's in the room that doesn't get addressed in our culture. Its a fact that if you are an educated, professional, young African American woman who opens her mouth to dare say, " I want to come out of the workforce and be a stay at home mom" I promise you will get more looks of amazement than you will get agreement. Being a keeper of the home is just not something that is widely taught in our culture. I guess my question is, who's responsibility is it to teach our women that it's not a negative stigma to stay at home and raise a family? Who will teach the God given responsibility? Is it the church's responsibility? Is it the community of Christian women who are following God's standard according to his word? Or should it be an individual experience, if your want it you have to get it for yourself? Who will stand against the often stated notion that the bible "wasn't written for this day and age? " Do we honestly think that God meant for his commandment for women to take care of their families only last during certain centuries? Are we to assume that the Prov 31 woman was only a example that had a 20th century expiration date?

I have heard from so many women that this simply isn't being taught in the church. Could it be because the more income a family has, the more tithes will be paid to the church? Or could it be a taboo sermon that will quickly get the pastor voted out? Could it be because no one is teaching the men that keepers at home doesn't equate laziness, and that you still have to treat your wife as Christ does the church? Or could it be that no one is pointing out how important we need our mamma's to be home to give hugs, kisses, advice, time, conversation and so much more? Who is exposing the invaluable worth in that?

I have so many questions and I have so much more that I would love to elaborate on, but unfortunately my lunch break is over and I must return back to work . If you get a chance check out the remainder of the dialogue over at Terry's place.

Who's to Blame?

2008-04-23T11:47:00.014-05:00

I've been MIA the past couple of days ( no time to blog) and am back with a whole lot to say today. My good friends Terry and Mrs. Henderson have had the most interesting dialogue about the history behind the lack of African American keepers of the home. You can read both their post here and here. They were both 150% correct in their statements, and as a single mom as much as the truth burns it's still truth. Fact of the matter is, there are more opportunities for women of other races to stay at home than it is in our race. Why? Well because unfortunately we do have a phenomenally high rate of single parent homes. There is no one else to work and provide income. We are somewhat behind and not always educated on ways to make money from home so we can leave the workforce. I guess the question is who's to blame for this cycle?

Is it the sinful young woman and man who are both so bound by sin that they can't resist the temptation of fornication? Or is it the devil who is on his job to kill, steal, and destroy?
Is it the government with their welfare reform during the days of LBJ or slavery/Jim Crow because black women then were raised to be subservient to others more than they were to their own households? We all have heard the stories of the mammies, and the maids raising the "rich white folks children". ( no offense, just stating historical quotes)

Or is it the race to not be poor and the overwhelming flood of middle and upper class blacks who with all their hard work showed us that we can become educated and be viewed as first class citizens in America's class system ? We can send our sons and daughters to non HBCU's and Ivy league schools so that they can be a little more leveled on this un-leveled playing field. What about Affirmative Action that opened doors for black women to go to school/work and to obtain degrees/ promotions so that they could make a half way decent living, all the while either sending their children to day care and pre-school or forsaking family all together? And lets not forget the Civil Rights act that gave black men and women equal opportunity in advancing in and obtaining career status, again so they would not be poor and would grow to look down upon the people they no longer connect with.

Or is it gross negligence on the black churches who for some reason seem to be found on almost every corner sometimes an entire street and just shows the world how unified our infamous "Black Christian faith" really is? Or is it the demise of honest preachers and ministers truly living what they preach, and truly being called by God and not Seminary to preach? Nowadays the only thing people tend to go to church for is to pay the preacher who's house and bank account is full of filthy lucre to hear a feel good motivational sermon that can't last more than an hour or the church will start clock watching and vote him out, all the while we have a choir full of sinners who can sang now, and everyone is a part of some type of board or committee. Don't get mad at me yet, I am just speaking what is spoken and seen from the mouths and eyes of the sinner folk. No messages that really put bible judgment, no crying out against the sins, just a simple it's okay, you can do it over and over again and still God loves you- He knows your heart.

I firmly believe its a combination of all of the above. Mainly the latter! The church through black history has always played a pivotal role in the black community. I agree with both Terry and Mrs. Henderson that the problem lies with sin. But if someone tells you that you can repent of your sins, remain saved for the rest of your life, but still sin every so often because no man but Jesus can live sin free; why would you want salvation? Why would you want deliverance from sin, when the person selling you the deliverance is telling you you can't really be delivered? If no one is preaching and teaching the concept of the "keeper of the home" then how will future generations of young African American women desire it?

I will continue this post tomorrow but I want to ask a question. Isn't this being done? Can anyone see how hard it must be for a person to want to be saved but doesn't see any true example of salvation as the bible give us? Or are we promoting the sinners misconception of the church by part taking in a congregation who's testimony isn't what is should? And last but not least what have we done lately as Christian women to help these sinners that we talk about so much choose Christ and salvation?

Its Friday!!!

2008-04-18T10:11:00.007-05:00

Well good friends, we have made it to another Friday/weekend. Whooo Hooo! Thank you so much for your advice yesterday and today as I type I am sipping on a bottle of water. I have made it a commitment to try and drink more water and to encourage my kids to do the same. My mother so graciously and bluntly pointed out in her comment yesterday that I need to change my not so healthy habits as my children are watching and listening. With that being said, I posted a video that was sent to me today that further served as a confirmation that I just need to get up and accept the changes I need to make. Children watch us, and they listen to us and eventually they become us. I want healthy daughters and I want to be around for them as long as I can. My body is not mine but the Lord's and I must take care of it even if it means drinking water when I would rather have a strong root beer :)
Have a glorious spring weekend. My boss has decided to be gracious and allow me to leave three hours early so that I can get some much needed wedding stuff done ( I am going to purchase my veil, hair piece and slip today!) and I am going to try and enjoy the beautiful April shower free weather that is predicted for us! Oh yeah, did anyone know that Mc Donald's has the cutest .24 micro mini kids cones? They don't advertise them, but if you ask for them they will make them for you. They look almost like sample cones, and my kids don't mind the size they have a blast laughing about how tiny they are. Just thought I would let you know in case you were looking for a way to spend a sunny weekend afternoon for less than a quarter per child.

Help Wanted

2008-04-17T14:08:00.004-05:00

Okay I am going to run the risk of sounding vain and insecure, but I need help and advice from anyone who feels led to submit it on three detrimental ( in my mind) issues that I am facing. My wedding is less than two months away and I am having the most severe bout of acne. Part of the problem is I have really oily skin. Another part is I have a very nervous habit of putting my hands on my face when I am thinking and this causes me to break out in every spot my hand has touched, especially around my upper lip and chin area.I try so hard to keep my hands away from my face, but I feel like a child who can't stop sucking their thumb. I have tried almost everything on the market and am moving back towards Pro-Activ. I don't really like it but it does work, if you use it religiously. The moment you stop then its back to square one. Does anyone know of any type of natural yet inexpensive product that I can use???

Secondly, I need any cool advice on how to incorporate water into my diet. I hate it, I don't drink enough and I know that its a parallel to my acne problem. But I need some tips or something that I can use to help me stay motivated to drink more water

Last but not least, I now have a weight gain issue. They say love will make you gain weight. I say planning a wedding will make you gain weight. Every since I started taking a multivitamin from GNC with my prescription iron and 1300 mg of biotin, I have been starving. The biotin is actually working with growing my hair and making it stronger, but I believe everything else is increasing my appetite. All I do is eat. All day and its a hunger craving that I have never experience. I am gaining all of my weight in my stomach and with my size and frame it's very obvious. My clothes don't fit right and I just feel slouchy because if I try to move up a size some things fit too big in the wrong places and I look as if my clothes are just hanging off me.Or things look to tight in the tummy area and I start looking very first almost beginning of second trimesterish.
Yep, I even have people thinking I am getting married so soon because I am expecting. I am trying so hard to fit an exercise routine into my schedule but I just can't seem to squeeze the time in. The wedding has literally taken over my spare time. I tried on my dress the other day once my shoes came in ( BTW they are so cute) and all I could see was stomach pouch. I look eternally bloated. Is this nerves or what??? I mean I am not really overly concerned with appearance, but I am a woman and I do want to look good on my wedding day, or am I overreacting??

The Independent Lie

2008-04-16T16:16:00.004-05:00

Single motherhood is synonymous with independence. For the past 8 years of my life, I have grown to be a fiercely independent woman. For the longest, I pretended that I really never wanted to be married. I didn't have to answer to anyone, could go and come as I please and I could be the driver of my own ship sort of speak and bible wifely submission was just a couple of words that churned my stomach acid. I remember just over a year ago, I was having a very candid debate about women being the weaker vessel equating women being weak. As most feminist, I was perpetrating, I was really lonely and envious and I desperately longed for a husband and family; but wanted to show the world that I wasn't waiting around to be rescued. Thankfully God saw how foolish and unlearned I sounded and he decided I needed a make-over.

So one day while surfing the web doing research on this topic of the "weaker vessel", I came across my first blog about biblical womanhood. That dear folks, is when my life changed. God began to deal with me through my research and through other blogs. I began to read how these other women were blissfully submissive and for whatever reason it registered with me. So I began to self search my feminist ways and figured out that I like most women my age was bamboozled by the perpetuating lie of the happy independent single woman (who just so happens to be a mom!) My independence had almost blinded me spiritually and my humility was at an all time low. And the whole weaker vessel thing, well I have a new outlook on that: It takes a strong person to accept a comfortable spot in being the weaker vessel, humbleness does not equate strength, it equates love and respect,honor and glory.

My friend Terry sums it up ever so nicely in her post yesterday about her relationship with her husband and how bible submission works in their home. As I read, I felt touched to share her post. Looking back a year later, I am so happy that I submitted my independence to the Lord. I am so happy that he revealed the miserable lie that I was living. As a reflection I can see how he had to lead me through blog land to read the personal testimonies of so many wise women, I wonder sometimes, if I had not had a willing heart or mind, how unhappy and deceived I would still be, I wouldn't be marrying the man He created for me in less than two months, my spiritual life wouldn't be as vibrant as it is, and I would have missed out on a wonderful life. I will post a small expert from her post. The rest you can read here.

"To answer your question: In order for the husband to lead in a marriage, the wife has to submit freely and voluntarily. The husband's ability to lead is more about the wife's willingness to obey Scripture than it is about his ability to force his own way. In the early years I'd pretend to submit while simply doing what I wanted without the hubby's knowledge. After the Lord convicted me, I confessed and committed to submit to my husband's authority."

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Can We Raise Spritually Vulnerable Children?

2008-04-15T11:56:00.005-05:00

This morning while catching a glimpse of Good Morning America (watch it here) , I was able to see an interview conducted with the mothers in the midst of the Polygamy investigation. I must say that I was heartbroken. I promise I won't try to sound harsh and or judgmental, and will try my best to keep this short and sweet because what I feel for these women are a deep sense of sympathy. No loving mother deserves to have her child taken away from her, but I had to really ask myself if the mothers honestly realized if the environment was really a healthy environment for their children or a true Godly enviornment for that matter.

I must admit, it is really hard for me to grasp or think about raising my 8yr old daughter to be given to marriage at the age of 14, to a man thrice her age or more. I just simply can't imagine that and it makes me cry to even think about it. In watching the women in the interview it made me pray earnestly for Godly wisdom on how to raise my daughters not to be vulnerable to deception. I know that mainstream media classifies this church as a cult, and from the interview I saw I can see how and why they would think this; and personally I agree. I can't see a true minister of God wanting to procreate with young children and offspring especially when the bible speaks against it. I can't see a biblical mother giving her young daughter to be espoused to her father or any other man just because she is told to do so by any one other than God( and he wouldn't give instructions contrary to his word!). I may be wrong to some for saying it , but I just can't grasp it.

It is my heartfelt belief that we have to raise our children to be aware of scripture and to know and understand it for themselves. I see so often where children are raised in a Christian environment and they have a biblical doctrine fed to them from infancy but they don't fully know, digest, or understand the spiritual food that they are being fed. This type of misunderstanding is exactly what the enemy will use to sow seeds of biblical doubt and make it easier for our children to be deceived by strange doctrine ( Heb 13:9).

I also believe that sometimes we should be open minded and know what other religions and doctrines stand for however; our children may not be ready or mature enough to handle such knowledge. We must teach our children as God leads us, and not only teach them the doctrines and instructions given to us by and from God, we must teach them and show them how to develop and nurture their personal relationship with God so that they can know when the enemy is leading them astray. I have seen and known of people who were led into all kinds of false doctrines and its sad. It starts with a curiosity of other religions and then it becomes interesting, and then possibly leads to something darker than what they can handle and they become overthrown and lost sometimes. I'm not saying that its wrong to know about other religions and teachings, we just have to know undoubtedly where God wants us according to his will. It's sad to see someone practice the occult, or to be so wrapped up in man made religions that they fear and obey man before they fear and obey God and nothing in the practice is according to scripture.

I won't even pretend to know or desire to know anything about the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or say anything openly negative about its secular practices, I can only say that I offer my prayers to these women and children whose lives are completely torn upside down. If you think I am wrong, please let me know. I am just protective of the souls that I will be held accountable for. To know that I as a mother could be deceived into raising my children according to mans law and not God's is a scary, scary thought for me and I pray that I remain hidden under the mercy , grace and knowledge of his love. I want my children to be so close to God that if they see me living anything contrary to God's word that they can point it out and stand against it and help win me back to the straight and narrow.
Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Haven Challenge Anti Procrastination Day!

2008-04-14T15:32:00.005-05:00

Crystal over at Biblical Womanhood has deemed today Anti- Procrastination Day and I don't even know where to start. I guess I will start by creating a list on all the things that I need to do and have not done yet since wedding planning has taken over my life temporarily . You can check out her post here!

Things I need to Do ( in no particular order)

Organize Closets
Donate clothing bags to Goodwill
Donate Books to library or school
My ever growing laundry pile
My weekly menu's and sticking to them!
Coupon Clipping
Bathroom Re-organization
Wedding Dress Alterations
Purchasing Flower Girl Dresses
Resuming my work-out schedule/plan
Deep cleaning girls room
Kitchen re-organization
Creating my Sanctuary Master Bedroom
Apply for my replacement birth certificate for my marriage license
Apply for marriage license
Create a photo album with all the hundreds of pictures around our house
Develop disposable camera film that is probably over two years old
Developing anad sticking to our chore chart
Developing and sticking to our household planner
Develop extra homework/summer learning chart/wall for kids

My Rambling Thoughts on Rings and Things

2008-04-14T13:24:00.008-05:00

note: my views today represent my own views on a topic that the Lord has given me specific direction and by no means is casting judgment or condemnation to others who don't agree.footprint graphic from art.com

Today while I was passing out invitations I was bombarded with the same question over and over again, "How big is your ring?""Where is your ring" I could feel the looks from some going from "happy for you" to "oh my ,what kind of man is he??"

Well, I don't have an engagement ring, and I don't wear jewelry. It's part of my biblical conviction and part of my deliverance. You see, I used to be one of those women who was very superficial and materialistic. I dated guys who I expected to shower me with trinkets who's meaning was just as superficial as our love/lust.

I know that may sound extreme to many but; I when I first stared battling with modesty I kept reading the scripture I Peter 3:1-5. God was then showing me what he required of me, once I accepted his word then this issue was no longer a battle for me. Also, once I really was healed of all of my hurt and pain from my past sinful life, and I started seeking God to prepare me for the man that he had for me, this particular passage of scripture kept coming to mind.

Before, I was everything opposite of a meek and quiet spirit and (I am still ever learning and perfecting this Godly attribute) and I so desperately wanted to have what this passage of scripture signifies. Still, I would have people say "that's crazy, God doesn't require all of that from you!" But you know what, he did and he still does because he showed it to me in scripture, and once he has shown you something for your good ( notice I said your) then you have to measure up.( Philippians 3: 13-15 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, 14 forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.)

I know that there are commandments that God expects all the world to uphold and there is no way around them, they are clear, concrete, and unarguable. However, I do believe that God knows each and every one of us, and when he delivers us into salvation he knows the things from our past which were/are strongholds, and just as he wanted Lot and his family to leave Sodom and Gomorrah without looking back he wants us to do the same. It could be so simple as and something that we don't see a sin, but it could be something that isn't pleasing to him.

That's the catch, we tend to think we have the right to say what is and what isn't pleasing to God, but what about what He thinks that isn't pleasing? We could very well have something in our lives that is no where near sin as we would categorize it, but God simply doesn't feel that it is a right fit in our relationship with him so he tells us to let it go, and we have to let it go. This is how it was for me with certain things concerning modesty. Not only did I let my makeup, jewelry, short skirts, colored nail polish, and pants go but I let all those things in my life that were not reflective of a meek and quiet spirit.

Now my answer to those pesky questions about my ring, well I know without and ounce of doubt that my FDH is the man created for me. I know confidently that our courtship was scripted by God, and our marriage will be fully ordained by God , and at this point and stage in my life I don't need a ring to validate or signify that for me. Seeing as nowadays a ring doesn't always really hold marital value in our modern day culture, I will be simply happy with knowing that my husband fears God and his fear for God will keep him in love with me and treating me according to how God ordains for the husband to treat his wife.For me, a piece of metal does not make me more or less married than the next person. This may not be the case for others but its no more/ no less for me.

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Frugal Friday- Frugal Wedding Planning Resources

2008-04-11T16:31:00.005-05:00

Once again I am going to try to keep up with Crystal over at Biblicalwomanhood and her weekly Frugal Friday post. One thing I am learning about this wedding planning thing is how to make the most of frugality. I believe a wedding should be a beautiful affair glorifying God's testimony of bringing two of his children together, what I don't believe is that God would be pleased with a over priced wedding ceremony that does not show a testament of being a good steward of the money he has blessed you with. So I prayed and sought ways to make my dream day as frugal as possible with out looking as frugal as possible staying in my modest $4,000 budget. I will admit, there is one area that I splurged on and that is rental. I rented most of my tablecloths, candelabras, columnnade, and other huge stuff. But for the most part I utilized these outlets:

Walmart

Hobby Lobby

Save-on- Crafts.com

Oriental Trading

DollarTreeDirect.com

Sams Club

Chadwicks of Boston

Burlington Coat Factory

Honeymoonwishes.com

Knot.com

Walmart- I bought all of my fabric from Wal-Mart's clearance fabric all of my fabric for the swags was $1 a yard. I had to go to a few Wal-Mart's a couple of time to find the type of fabric that I wanted but I found it and it was very inexpensive. I also bought the vases for my centerpieces there and my invitations. I found my invitations on clearance for $7 a box.

Hobby Lobby- I bought all of my flowers from Hobby Lobby's clearance sale. They were running a 50% off on all their floral bushes and bouquets, and since I am using roses, I had them special order all of the flowers that I needed for my day. I then went back a few weeks ago and took advantage of their 50% bridal sale. This was the mother of all sales for me and I loaded up with all of my bridal stuff and favors and again it was relatively inexpensive.

Save-on- Crafts.com- I found some really cool deals on here, but for the most part I did better at Hobby Lobby. My decorator and I decided to have my reception a different color than my wedding, so we are having an all white reception. It was cheaper and easier to find white fabric than my colors, which are champagne, cream, and chocolate. I also decided to use Calla lilies in my centerpieces which I ordered here for less than $1 each. I also bought my organza tulle at a very reasonable discount price here also.

Oriental Trading- They have some very inexpensive wedding favors, I haven't ordered yet, but there are a few things I am thinking of picking up.

Dollar Tree Direct- Dollar tree is one of my favorite stores, I can use them to buy most of my serving pieces here. Dollar tree in bulk is a dream!!!

Sams Club- I will probably purchase the food and or other items I can't find at Dollar tree in bulk. Not my first choice though.

Chadwicks of Boston- Very nice and a few modest bridesmaid dresses here! I wanted my bridesmaids to have nice modest dresses for a fraction of the cost that we were finding online, plus there was no long shipping turn around. I never knew that finding modest formals was so difficult and expensive!!! But we found a few here to choose from and I am totally satisfied with the product.

Burlington Coat Factory- I found my daughter's dresses here, and they had an awesome after Easter sale!!! A nice place to shop if you have the patience to hunt through the crowds of clearance stuff!

Honeymoonwishes.com- A nice alternative registry that allows guest to purchase items for the couples honeymoon. Most couples already have tons of housewares, and traditional bridal registry items, this registry allows guests to take part in blessing the couple to have a wonderful honeymoon. For Christian couples this is a God send since we are actually having an opportunity to take advantage of the real purpose of a honeymoon. It's refreshing to know that there are people out there who are partaking in the sanctity of the marriage bed as God has instructed!

Knot.com Last but not least, this was my most helpful site. I was able to send out e-vites and electronic save the dates for free. I was also able to set up a website detailing my courtship story. It is an excellent planning tool and you can even upload your guest list in it and your guest can RSVP online. It also has a spot for your online registries for those guest who may not be able to attend or have time to actually visit a store. And people can leave nice things about you on your guest book.

I know many of you may already know about this, but it was fun for me to discover and share. And I would love to hear if you have any ideas or advice for any better deals or places! Thank you all who have left comments on our wedding web page, it's truly a blessing.

Stay blessed and encouraged! Have a wonderful weekend.

Weather Update

2008-04-10T15:02:00.003-05:00

Hello All, its that time of year here in the good old state of Arkansas. Springtime is very nice and beautiful but occasionally we go through a season of tornado weather and fierce thunderstorms and flash flooding.

Last night was pretty okay, we just had thunderstorms early in the night and it stormed pretty solid this morning. We did have a little scare this am around lunchtime the tornado sirens went off and we had to assume evacuation mode. For all of you SAHM's I envied you today. Today while I was sitting in the stairwell of my office building, my children were at school in evacuation for a little while. Its the worst feeling in the world to know that there is a potential natural disaster going on and your precious ones are afraid and possibly in danger and you are miles away under the strong arm of attendance rules and regulations. God is blessing though. He kept my little ones safe and sound and he kept my FDH safe and sound.

If you look at my count down I actually have 65 days to go before my wedding and planning has become a little more manageable. I am still in prayer and decision on a cater. God worked it out that we were able to find a nice photographer that was so thrilled with our story of courtship and our "no touching stand" that he volunteered to take engagement pictures so that we could see his work and so that he could find creative poses to photograph all for free. I was thrilled and happy with the results, so all in all we were blessed to find a wonderful photographer who was excited about our courtship and the Godliness thereof and wants to be a part of our special day.

Now moving on along to my actual feelings about my impending marriage, well there are so many emotions that I am dealing with, fear, frustration, anticipation, excitement, love, did I mention fear??? I am afraid that I won't be a good wife. I am so used to being a mom full time, that I sometimes wonder how in the world am I going to add wife to my plate. Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to the challenge, but I do have a quiet fear, a Godly fear that in some way is keeping me humbly before him for help and guidance. I am learning in practice the art of womanly submission. It's not a bad thing, it's wonderful but I will say that it requires tons of effort. Some may say that it should be effortless, and I agree but when you have been used to making all decisions, it requires some gentle reminders from God that total decision making is not your place right now! So, pray for me, that I continue to remain humble and ever learning what it takes to be the wife I have so long waited to be.
Stay Blessed and Encouraged-smfg

100th Post!!!

2008-04-09T11:53:00.005-05:00

Today is my 100th post and I am so grateful to God for allowing me this outlet to praise him, make new friends, encourage others, and come in contact with so much divine wisdom from so many people from across the world. I was looking at my feed map and am touched daily by the different visits from across the world. I am truly blessed.

I planned on typing this elaborate post last week, but as I sat huddled up in my bathtub with my two children while we experienced out first ever real live tornado last Thursday night I was hit with a new perspective; I was overcome with thankfulness and awe of just how mighty the hand, no the finger of God is. Last week, there was a tornado that ripped through my community and left a path of devastation. The funny thing is, this particular tornado was different from any I have ever seen or witnessed. Normally, I am just on the tornado watch end, but the city that I moved to last year just so happens to be in our tornado alley, so this was my first time experiencing one close up. I was expecting high winds and hail and such, but this night the air was still and quiet, and had it not been for the warning sirens I wouldn't have even known to look out for anything. My kids automatically went into the bathroom and I stood one foot in my bedroom, one foot in my bath watching the news as they gave street by street directions of the tornado's path. When I heard them say that it was headed in my direction, I was thinking " this must be the quietest tornado ever" No sooner as the words left my brain, I hear a ripping crack of thunder and a blinding ray of lightning as if the heavens were opening, and the storm gates flooded. This tornado was surrounded by the thunderstorm, you couldn't see it because it was hidden by a blanket of rain and hail. I literally was able to experience the calm before the storm. But there was no loss of power, just a really intense thunderstorm and then it was gone.

Little did I know that about 1/8th of a mile from my house ( practically in my back yard) the tornado ripped through a housing community and trailer park. The lightning struck a gas main that set off fires destroying over 70 mobile homes. I stood out on my balcony and watched the ball of fire and the fire department extinguishing the blazes. Soon after we had to leave because another storm cell was heading our way and I live on the 2nd story of my apartment complex so my FDH who had just gotten off work decided that it would be best if we waited the storm out at one of our friends homes. It was late and dark when we returned home, but the next morning on my way to work I was able to see the damage, and I was so humbled at what I saw. I showed my girls and I told them this " This is why mommy serves God, do you see how he protected us!" There were trees uprooted, homes leveled, and many people displaced. All lived in a development right behind us. The tornado skipped over us and went right behind where we live. I serve an awesome God. There were also church members of mine who were fellow shipping at another members home, and the tornado touched down in their neighborhood. They came out to see uprooted trees and debris, but not a single one of them suffered any damage to their vehicles or the home. God is truly good to his people. I am still claiming his goodness, because this is just the beginning of the season for us, as a matter of fact we have tornado like conditions forecasted for tonight and tomorrow.

funnel clouds hidden in the rain
Lightning right before the storm
areal view of the storm damage on my street
entrance to the community behind my apt bld
more storm damage

Sometimes we hear of disasters on the news and yes we may say a prayer, but so experience the awesome greatness of how God moves and works will forever be a humbling miracle for me. Above are some pictures of what happened behind my house and I will dedicate my 100th post to my heavenly father who once again spared me an my family from known and unknown dangers. I would also like to once again thank all of you for reading and leaving comments. You make my day brighter! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

*photos taken from arkansasonline.com and fox16com

State of The World

2008-04-02T13:45:00.003-05:00

I have been a little out of sorts lately and unable to blog as frequently. Between the wedding plans and work I have been a little thinly stretched. But never fear, I have a nice little topic that I want to talk about today. I was working on a post for my bloggy friend Terry, a nice Q&A that I wanted to share, but today I read something that just sent my chills up my spine and made the hairs on my neck stand up, thus ending up in my current state of fingers flying on my keyboard.

I want to share a scripture first, before I lead into what I want to shout from my soap box. Luke 5:26And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things to day.

Today I most most certainly seen and read some strange things, things so strange that it makes me praise God all the more for being delivered out of the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. I first thought it was a hoax, or just a publicity stunt when I read an article about a pregnant Oregon man. Then much to my chagrin, I find out today that this man(woman) will debut on Oprah tomorrow. Well that just seems like the type of stuff that she would have on her show, and you can probably tell that I am not her biggest fan. So apparently this woman, who has had a operation to make her a man outwardly, decided to keep her female organs. She/He married a woman, who knew he was a she, and fast forward to an unfortunate situation of the couple being unable to have children, the husband decides to fall back on the reproductive organs that he never had removed to carry his wife's child. I am confused and bewildered just typing this, and I wonder if I am this confused, what will this poor child have to endure.
I try not to be judgemental on my blog, but an abomination is just what it is, an abomination. These are the things that I have to explain to my children. This is the state of the world. A woman can decided that she wants to be a man, another woman will marry her under the name of love, and then the woman who wants to be a man, decides that its okay to cash in on the very maternal instinct that she doesn't want to portray outwardly. I find this incomprehensible, and just plain old offensive to me as a woman, a mother, a child of God.

So now for the next few days or weeks headlines will read Oreg an Man Pregnant, or something of that nature as if this is just something that is miraculous or a work of God. I find it equally disgusting that the news media is just banking on this, promoting this twisted story. I wonder what effect this will have on other transgender men to decide that they want to change outside but stay feminine inside and thus have a wave of so called men giving birth. I can only conclude that we are definitely in the last and evil days. I also feel that this is something that we need to be prepared to discuss with our children. We need to drive home that they will start to see things that are strange, and that all strange things they see are not all works of God but are a fulfilment of the scripture. Jude 1:8 Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities. You can read the articles here and here.
Be Blessed and Stay encouraged!

Spring Break and Putting It All In Perspective

2008-03-27T10:25:00.008-05:00

The end of spring break is almost near, so I am taking a couple of days off to spend with these precious angels of mine.

Chocolate Drop and her famous toothless smile *smile*Nee Nee Pooh in all of her sweetness- I only have 10yrs left *sigh*

My perspective- Thank You Lord!

They are at grannie and pa-pa's and the plan was initially, that while they were gone,I would redecorate ( really a nice way of saying clean their room) their room. I thought initially about just getting rid of all their junk and making it easier for them to manage, and then yesterday I read this post (please read) by Crystal over at Biblical womanhood. This poor sister lost her dear husband of only 10 weeks in a unexpected boating accident. Wow, I thought, I am getting married to the man I love in less than three months, I am fretting over wedding plans and the attitudes of others whom I will never be able to change, and this poor woman just lost her husband of only 10 weeks. The Lord was faithful in sending me a reality check! Life is too short to be overly concerned with the cares, the messes, the never ending to-do lists. Their room can wait, we will redecorate it together. So I encourage you all to spend the remainder of the week in honor of Kristy and her husband, by spending dear time with those you love. Forget all the aimless chores and tasks that you won't remember once they are not around. Be blessed and stay encouraged! Have a wonderful weekend. And please if you have a moment, stop by and visit Kristy's blog to leave words of encouragement during this difficult time for her.

Bridal Thoughts and Prayer

2008-03-26T12:01:00.009-05:00

Today I will simply share my "bridal prayer and thoughts". I ask that you continue to pray for me that God will keep me grounded and centered during this frenzy of wedding planning. I have come to the conclusion that marriage is a beautiful thing and a marriage ceremony should reflect that beauty both behind the scenes and forefront. I am a very laid back and glass half full person who believes that everything happens according to the will of God in its due time, and that there is really no need to stress or rush through things because when God is truly in it it will be according to his will. However, I am finding that my particular way of thinking doesn't always coincide with wedding planning and the fine details involved. Yes I want a beautiful affair, but should I trade my sanity in the process? While nothing particularly bad has happened, I feel sad that the planning stages of a wedding don't always reflect that beauty that I feel it should. And this is not just with my wedding but with any typical, average or normal wedding. It has become the acceptable norm that wedding planning is "just stressful", and that it "brings out the best and worst in people and you really find out who your friends are". I think that I have probably heard those two quotes more that I can stand to bear. Is this what one day is all about? I say it shouldn't be. It shouldn't cost an arm and a leg, it should be hard to find modest clothing, it shouldn't be hard to choose something likable by all, it just shouldn't be hard or frustrating at all, and by all means it shouldn't be something that will break up friendships or cause family grudges or grudges period! I sometimes believe that our desire for perfection and the perfect day can walk that fine line of just plain old leaving God out of the process and not upholding what his desire for the perfect day is. Scripture plainly states that " God is not the author of confusion but of peace( 1 Corinthians 14:33)" so I can't help but wonder that if there is confusion in planning and communications where lies the place that God hasn't authored??Since I am the bride, I feel responsible to search out any place that God isn't in, and bring him there. I am learning that if you don't put God first in all things concerning that it can be a very un-goldy process. So today I pray this prayer... I ask that you pray for me and my fdh as we continue in this process.

Dear Gracious and Heavenly Father,

I thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to partake of your beautiful and sacred union that was created by you for your glory. I ask that you give me the grace to always keep you first and foremost in this journey. Help me not to forget you as we plan this wedding. Help me to always remember that it is we ( you and I ) not me, who is planning this for your glory and honor. I thank you for the people that you have brought into my life that possess so much valuable input, talents, and gifts. I thank you for allowing those same people to have the desire to contribute these gifts to our blessed day. I also ask that you will give me the wisdom to recognize when the devil is trying to throw a trap into our plans and to immediately go in prayer to bind and stand firmly against him. Help me not to get caught up into the worldly process of wedding planning, and help me maintain the right attitude at all times for all situations, help me to hide my feelings and keep my words seasoned with grace. Help me to always be conscience of your voice and to hear it before making any decision or statement. I know that of myself I may feel my attitude is correct, but help me maintain your attitude through out this. Help me guard my feelings, my mind, and my thoughts as the enemy tries to bring thoughts and imaginations that sometimes seem difficult to cast down. I know that I possess the power in your word to cast down every thought and imagination and high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of you, and bringing into captivity EVERY thought to the obedience of Christ( II Corinthians 10:4-5). And finally Lord, I thank you for giving me this needed outlet of blogging. I thank you how time after time, you allow me to read something that is truly needful and edifying to my soul that is posted by one of your servants. I thank you for imparting in their hearts the very thing that may be uplifting to the souls that read, and I thank you for their obedience to share the thoughts that you lay on their hearts. I ask that you grant me the grace to be the same blessing to others as those that you send my way are to me. I thank you again and will never cease to praise you. Amen.

With that being said, I feel better already. Have a wonderfully blessed day!-smfg

Tattoo's- The Painful After Effects

2008-03-24T14:42:00.006-05:00

I wanted to share an article that I wrote about tattooing for a newsletter created by my pastor and other saints from my congregation. I wrote this article because I am seeing first hand the after effects of a phenomenon that is hundreds of years old, but is growing into a increasingly large mega trend among mine and the younger generation that is following. I decided to share my article because it is something that I did as a young rebellious woman, and now that I am older and about to be married, the damaging consequences are amplified more than ever. I was blessed though that my tattoo is small enough to have surgically removed before my wedding. However, I am being buffed about for my own faults, because as with all sin, it comes with a price, a whopping $650 price tag.

I don't mind sharing my story. I have told my FDH as much as I could tell while still being expedient and not painting a picture. I had to tell him, that I have an ungodly tattoo on my body that I feel would be an embarrassment for him to see once we get married. I told him that while I didn't feel led to go into details of my tattoo (i.e place, type, etc..) it wasn't something that I felt would be beneficial to our marriage. I mean, of course he knows that God cleaned me up from a miserable sinful life, and while I know he loves me unconditionally it still doesn't mean that I want my past to be advertised on my body for the rest of my future. So I sought out a board certified dermatologist and he explained the simple procedure. A small incision will be made on the tattoo, and a small portion of it will be removed from the top layer of skin, and the skin will sewn back together. Simple as stitching a deep flesh wound. Yes I will have a small scar, but to look at a scar versus looking at a constant reminder of a piece of me that was so opposite to who God has made me today is so much more worth it. To be able to feel completely free about that part of my sins being physically removed from me is very liberating. I feel a lot less embarrassed about myself. Don't get me wrong, while my self esteem doesn't suffer, the constant reminder of my sinful stupidity tends to be a thorn in my side.
I am sharing this because I don't want other young women to go through this. While explaining this may seem simple, its very costly financially, emotionally, and not to mention the physical pain I will endure, because I didn't mention that I can't afford anesthesia so this will be a deadening of the skin w/local anesthetic type thing. The price of sin is a great cost, and it's a cost that can be easily avoided by just serving God from the days of your youth. I encourage all young girls to just hold on and serve God, there is no temptation, peer pressure, fad or trend that you won't later regret and pay a price for. Below is the article I wrote.

Tattoos: The Devil’s Advertising

Tattooing for my generation and those younger is almost considered a rite of passage. According to statistics taken from a 2006 a study done by the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology found that 24% of Americans between 18 and 50 are tattooed; that's almost one in four. And the survey showed that about 36% of Americans age 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo!

Now I know that this may not seem very interesting or relevant, but as a human resource professional with one of the largest hospitals in the state, I see all to well the regret that comes with what the world calls art. I see applicants during interviews that can’t focus on the interview because they are worried about the impression and perception that they are giving when they have exposed tattoos. I see business men and doctors who will never wear short sleeves because of the unprofessional stigma that is tied to visible tattoos in corporate America. I see women who have a harder time achieving their professional goals because they are exposed with disgraceful highly visible tattoos that are frowned upon in management. With all that being said, I won’t even get into all the health risks that are associated with getting tattoos.

Unfortunately my generation and the generations behind me seem to think that tattooing is a form of artful expression, or as I said earlier a rite of passage. It has gone from discreetly hidden to blatantly portrayed, there are even those who use their faces as a canvas to display the colorful, permanent, and hideous display of what I call the devil’s advertising. The devil tricks you that it’s cool, and turns you into a permanent walking advertising billboard.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental, I admit I deal with the shame of this every day because when I was in my sin, I thought it was cool to get not one, but two tattoos. Even though I am now saved, my sins are forgiven, and I have on a new garment of a new man, when I see what I did to my body I feel regret. Yes, God has delivered me, but the stamp of Satan serves as a constant reminder of what he delivered me from.

You can have tattoos removed, but the costs are high and painful as with all sin. That one moment of pleasure costs you more that its worth in the long run. My message is simple, your body is not yours but the Lord’s (I Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?). One day you will get older, and you will desire a career, family and all those other things that are associated with becoming settled. Don’t let the devil’s advertising stand in your way. Don’t run the risk of having to explain to your children how it’s not good to get tattoos all the while as you constantly walk around displaying yours.

Thanks for reading and be blessed and stay encouraged! smfg

Falling In Love God's Way

2008-03-21T13:37:00.000-05:00

I shared with you in my Frugal Friday post how my FDH and I like to spend time eating nice romantic dinners on my balcony while still maintaining our godly standards. Well on Monday while taking advantage of Hobby Lobby's 50% off all Bridal sale, I found this cute little tea set that was also 50% off. I ran home to set up the table to surprise him with dinner after he got off work and his first response was, "You should take a picture to put on your blog!" So here goes our simple, godly romantic meal. I took a package of beef smoked sausage, sauteed them with french fried onions and put them on french bread that was baked with garlic spread and pepper jack cheese, throw on some nice spinach and add ramen noodles as a side and you have the perfect frugal but manly man meal.

See my nice little tea set, so cute to me!!!

beef smoked sausage sandwiches n ramen noodles very frugal and filling!

The nice thing is that when we are old, we can sit back and laugh at how during our courtship we found creative ways to enjoy each other's company that did not cross the will and word of God. It's so much easier to fall more and more in love with a person that you know was created for you for God and by God. There's no stress, no insecurities, no pressure just plain old enjoying the freedom of a love that was and is directly from the finger of God.

I am finding it refreshing to know that I am not alone in my belief about a pure path to happiness. I think about all of the wasted time and energy that goes into the creative ways of worldly dating. A man spends an average of $50-$100 for dinner and entertainment just to impress a girl on a first date, which leads to more dates that are just as costly. Eventually he realizes that he has made an investment in this particular young woman and she senses it. Suddenly there is this unspoken, sometimes spoken pressure to get a return on his investment by sleeping with each other. One or two, maybe three things happens.... he either doesn't respect or call her again, he falls in lust with her and sees long term relationship potential, or he enjoys the for now moments and rides it out to see how long it will last. I'm not putting all of the blame on the guys either, women now days are just as bold and brassy. Some women feel that they have to give a return on the first date investment. She may get halfway into the date and become mesmerized by the possibility of a potential future and feels she needs to show her worth now, to reserve her spot in his heart. Other women feel like, Hey, I just want to enjoy the moment and see what happens. Either way it goes, there is little or no really getting to know a person. No truthful talking, no soul searching, no honestly showing yourself to a person. But then again, how could there be. The relationship isn't even close to being on a Godly level.

Matter of factly speaking, its a relationship, not a courtship so that in itself explains the reason behind all the heartaches, and confusion. I was trying to explain the difference to a person and I wanted to share with you what I shared with them. Some may already know and some may not. Either way I hope I share one thing with one person that will change their point of view away from worldly dating, and seek to share in the beauty of a Godly courtship and engagement. It's the only way. I just thank God that I am able to experience this blessing in my lifetime, and look forward to preparing my daughters for this blessed way.

Webster's definition of relationship is:
relationship: the state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings. b: a romantic or passionate attachment.

Now lets look at Webster's definition of courtship:
courtship: to seek the affections of; especially to seek to win a pledge of marriage from. b: to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage.

In a courtship there is no pressure to snag a husband, or race to the alter because when God sends you that special someone, he will be your husband, not your boyfriend. It's not a romantic or passionate attachment as given in the relationship. He will approach you marriage already in mind, and best of all, as long as your heart is hid in Christ, you will have full confidence that he has been proved worthy to find you, because he had to go through Christ to FIND you! It's not a romantic or passionate attachment as given in the relationship. It's forever, its final, the beginning of togetherness. Have a blessed day and stay encouraged!

Making Your Home a Haven Challenge- I NEED YOUR HELP!!

2008-03-17T15:35:00.007-05:00

pink bedroom graphic from art.com

I was reading through blog land today and came across Crystal's Making Your Home A Haven Challenge. The theme this week is Spring Cleaning The Master Bedroom. I thought I would join the challenge as I haven't participated in a while. Also , being that I have to de-clutter and re-organize to make room for my FDH in the next few months I want to solicit advice because I have never had a two adult bedroom. We both figured that my apartment was larger so we would stay there for a year and plan for a house.

The first thing I know I have to tackle is my closet. The next being my outrageous shoe collection and the third being my multi-use bathroom. I am a walking women's cliche', I absolutely adore shoes. They are my weakness. I am also an avid consignment shopper plus as I mentioned in an earlier post, because of my size I always get the pickings from those kind folks who down size their wardrobes. And my bathroom is a multi purpose room, I don't even know why the girls have a bathroom because they seem to be so attracted to mine! To top it all off, my FDH is also just as much as ,if not more of a consignment junkie than I am so his closet will also need to be pared down, ( unbeknownst to him!)

When I envision my master bedroom as a married woman vs a single mom, I don't even know where to begin. Maybe you can help me. I am so used to my room being an end all be all for me and my girls. Everything starts and stops in mommy's room. So the concept of a two adult bedroom is very new to me. I know what I like but then I guess I have to let him add a little bit of his style and ideas to our room. All and all I need help with small room organization. I don't want a messy bedroom, but what do you do with limited space?? Storage is out of the question for me because I feel that if you put clothes away in storage for a while, then you may as well give them away because you aren't wearing them anyway.

I know I want a peaceful haven of relaxation, happiness, oneness, openness and feminine beauty in my master bedroom. I want it to be the place that we both look forward to spending quality time in. No not just for the physical, but for the complete oneness of our relationship. I want it to be holy and peaceful and fun. So I guess I will start by minimizing the clutter of my closest, and getting rid of all of the outfits that I haven't worn in like two full seasons. Maybe brighten it up and make it look cheerful. Take the bathroom and separate the hair bows, and half-empty bottles of all the different lotions and sprays that I have. I don't know where to start but I know I don't have much time, so I am soliciting advice from anyone who's willing to help!!!!! What minimum cost methods have you used for maximizing space and organization. ( besides rubbermaid bins ;), also what kind of decorating tips can you offer that blend both personalities in one room.

Frugal Friday- My Simple Yet Creative Engagement

2008-03-14T15:14:00.003-05:00

Today I wanted to keep up with Crystal's at Biblical Womanhood Frugal Friday momentum by sharing how me and my FHD and I have had to tap into our creativity to maximize our courtship/engagement for the glory of God without maximizing our spending.

First I must thank everyone for all the well wishes, they have certainly been a blessing to me. Being that I have been following Frugal Friday's for about a year now, I have learned so much form the different ones who post. In saying that, I knew that there was not way I could get engaged and forget it all.

Have I been caught up in the whirlwind of romance, YEP, but I found that there are some pretty frugal ways to entertain. For me, my engagement has been a family affair. So the small romantic dinners are usually loud, boisterous family outings. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Since he is an ex-athlete with the appetite to match, I have to cook for him. If we do go out, we share a meal or I will just eat off the kids menu or we will split an appetizer. Mainly, I share with my kids, because hey they never finish their food anyway.

Also, my FDH and I stand firm on our belief in an emotionally, and biblically pure courtship/engagement. Meaning, there is no alone time without adult chaperone's, ABSOLUTELY no touching of any kind, and no situations that will cause us to be tempted of the flesh. So what do we do? We find creative ways to always be together in a public setting. By doing so it allows us to always remember that our engagement is advertisement for Christ and it keeps us fighting the temptations that the enemy brings our way.Explaining this to some of my friends can be rather challenging, and my neighbors think I am absolutely nuts, but the difference between this and what I was used to in worldly dating is so much more beautiful. I love the fact that we can think of ways to be around each other and remain in God's will. They are memories that we will be able to share with our grandchildren.

One of the main things we do is to sit and talk outside on my balcony. I went to Fred's Discount Store and bought a cute little black folding table with chairs and I decorated it with a nice table runner and plant. When time allows we sit outside and talk. I have introduced him to the power of herbal teas. So I'll brew up some hot water and make herbal tea and we'll sit outside and just talk. This kind of proved to be a challenge this winter, but we dressed in layers, wrapped up separately in quilts and drank tea. I also cook for him and we sit outside and eat dinner or breakfast and drink tea.

This helps us fight the cost of always eating out since we don't visit each others apartments alone. Occasionally I have invited friends out, or cooked dinner and took it over friends so that we can hang out as a group and still take advantage of one on one time.

I believe whole heartily that trying to maintain an emotionally and physically pure relationship brings out the creativity in a couple. Plus it allows us to do what all couples should do before entering into something as important as marriage. We TALK!!! All the time, we just sit and talk. Best of all, it doesn't cost us a dime, and with all the money we save during our engagement, we can spend on our honeymoon!

Answer To My Prayer! I"m Gettin Married!

2008-03-12T10:05:00.010-05:00

cake topper photo from stuartscreations.com

Okay, I have tried to be so suspenseful, and yes in my post yesterday I did mention that I said yes to my FDH ( Future Dear Hubby), but today I just felt like getting it off my chest and shouting it as loud as I could, with no leading stories or suspenseful posts. I am truly happy. I have been holding this in for a while, because I just didn't know how to jump out and say, hey I'm not going to be a single mom for long.
This has truly been a bittersweet moment for me. Am I happy that my life is about to change for the better?? YES!, but at the same time I am loosing a part of me that has made me so strong in the Lord. I still want my life to be that testimony to other single parents out there who are desiring not to be alone, and to have a traditionally complete family.

My sole desire through out this process is to:

1. encourage other single parents that living for God and waiting on him is the best thing that you can do for yourself, and your children.

2. Prevent past mistakes that I made from happening to others, especially children.

3. Provide encouragement for those who feel like they don't have a place to fit into. Life for us may be different, but we still are loved by the same God, and he will still accept us as his children as long as we obey and put him first in our lives.

4. To spread the word that Scripture is so, so true in that if you Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalms 37:4

5. Finally, my desire is to never, ever forget where I started on this journey. Being a single mom has been a big part of my adult life and there were experiences that shaped me into the woman I am today, and reminders of the woman I want to strive to be.

I ask you to pray for me during this chapter in my life. Things are happening so fast and I feel like I am being caught up in a whirlwind some days. Wedding planning has taken over my life.

Also, just to warn you that my posts for the next few months will probably chronicle this stage in my life and continue to hold up the banner of the importance and beauty of a God honoring courtship , engagement and wedding.

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

RE-POST: In The Twinkling Of An Eye

2008-03-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

Friends, I wanted to share this with you as a continuation of yesterday's post. Thank you Terri, Diane, and Llyah who prayed with me as if we were coffee mates without even knowing my the details of my desires.....

1 Corinthians 15:52- In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
twinkling of an eye graphic from art.com
I was thinking today about how amazingly fast God works in our lives. One moment we can be at one place in our lives and the next moment within a twinkling of an eye we can be in another. It could be good, or bad but God's work happens so fast.

I think about my past life and how dead I was to Christ, and how in the twinkling of an eye once I asked my sins were cast as far as the east is to the west (Psalms 103:12).
I think about in the twinkling of an eye I become an adopted daughter of an heavenly father ( Ephesians 1:5) . With that adoption, I receive all of the benefits ( Psalms 68:19) of being his child.

I think about how wonderful it is that I can feel like I am waiting years for a blessing but how one day with the Lord is as a thousand years and a thousand years as a day ( 2 Peter 3:8) - In the twinkling of an eye I receive my requests.

I think about how amazing it is that in the twinkling of an eye, years ago God created a man hundreds of miles away that would cross paths with his daughter and that decades later they would both share a testimony that would strengthen their love for him . And how fast forward to two years ago God allowed this man to be witnessed to and invited to a church by another saint so that he would meet a group of young friends that would keep him encouraged as he developed a longing for the benefits of being God's adopted. Its wonderful how this same man accepted Christ, lived a holy consecrated life so that he could hear the voice of God.

I think about how breathtaking it is that in a twinkling of an eye, God humbled his daughter who was tired of wandering about in a land of hurt and confusion, so he led her home to Him and allowed her to cross paths with a group of young friends at her church who would encourage her to "stay strong because God has a better life for you."

In the twinkling of an eye, God showed this man a woman who was praying for exactly what God was forming him to be. And how without his/ her knowledge God was shaping this woman into the help meet that he was praying for.

In a twinkling of an eye God planted a seed of a holy friendship that soon developed into a deep love in this man's heart for this woman and showed him the way to find her as she was hiding in Christ.

In a twinkling of an eye, God planted seeds of love in that same woman's heart for this man as she started to see his unshakable walk with God, and she started to see traits in him that she was praying earnestly for. In this same twinkling of an eye and under guidance of his pastor this man made a phone call that would change her life forever.

In the twinkling of an eye on Tuesday January 15, 2008 at exactly 8:55 am her phone rang and she heard these words that made her cry: " Jamala, I wanted to let you know that I believe that God would have for you to be my wife and I would like for you to pray and fast with me so that we can both know for sure God's will"

In the twinkling of an eye, my God showed me concrete Scripture that this was his will for my life.

In the twinkling of an eye, I talked to my daughters about it, and the response was "Yeaaaahhh, mommy God really does answer prayers, we were praying for him to be your husband" , (Yes, God does hear the silent prayers of children even if their mommies have no clue what they are praying for in their "head").

In the twinkling of an eye, I went from a single mom desiring a mate, to a courtship approved my God.

In the twinkling of an eye as the weeks progressed I heard those words that I have been so longing to hear: "Jamala I love you, Will you marry me???

In the twinkling of an eye, I said YES!!!

Never give up hope that God has forgotten you, or that he doesn't see you because in the twinkling of an eye your life can be changed above all that you could even imagine( Ephesians 3:20) .

To Be Continued.......

Hiding To Be Found

2008-03-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Hello my wonderful bloggy friends. I know that I have been a horrible blogger lately, but I promise that I have a good excuse. Most of you have come to know me as a happy single mom living for God and loving it. And its true, I am. However that has not always been the case for me.

When I started blogging about five months ago, I wanted a refuge to center my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to be able to write out loud and have someone read my thoughts so that I could remain focused and fight the growing battle of loneliness and desire to be a Mrs. Somebody. However, I didn't want to be the whiny, poor and pitiful single mom longing for a saviour to come in and make my life peachy keen. I wanted to give the devil a fight and continue to glorify God and be content in the state that I was in.

What I neglected to tell the world is that during this time, is that I was also praying very earnestly for a husband. I wrote a list out to God detailing everything that I desired. First thing, he had to have a unshakable walk and relationship with God, no ifs, ands or buts about it. He had to love God more that me and himself. He had to want a family, I wanted him to be my total opposite ( quiet, reserves, organized,patient,) but yet still be a deep thinker, and goof ball and probably even more of a nerd than I am. I wanted him to love me for me, and not any physical attributes that may and will fade away with time. The list does go on and on.

My list wasn't very long, but it wasn't entirely short either, but I have that relationship as a daddy's girl with my almighty father. I can tell him the desires of my heart and he listens. He doesn't always give me things when I want them, but I know he listens. Even better, I knew that he would give me exactly what I needed in his time and not mine.

God is still listening, he's still reading my list, he is still keeping my heart settled, focused and encouraged. There are so many things that are swirling through my head and heart right now. Does God answer prayers? Yes he does. Will he answer mine? Only time will tell........ Remember these words from a previous post I wrote about dating: I can't finish the entire story in this post, so I will just have to post more tomorrow :)

A woman's heart should so be hidden in Christ, that a man would have to seek him first to find her.-

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! -smfg

RE POST: One thing have I desired of the LORD- Beauty for Ashes

2008-03-10T14:14:00.000-05:00

One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. Psalm 27:4

This is one of my favorite scriptures, because it sums up how I feel about my salvation, and keeps me in perspective about my ultimate desire of Heaven, however, there is this other 'one thing that I have desired of the Lord" and it has proved to be a training ground for my patience, humility, meekness, faithfulness, and self encouragement.

Today my post will not center around my children, but I would like to share with you a revelation that I had while reading a story on another blog from a blogger who also battled with a "One Thing Desire". As I read her story, it was as if God was reading the words to me, chills ran up my neck and I cried heavily on the inside. Not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy and confirmation. Have you ever had a situation before you where you know what God told you, you know you have to have faith and wait, but the enemy battles you with anxiety and over thinking; and then when you least expect it you read or hear something that jolts you and rejuvenates your peace about the situation? Well that is the type of moment that I had a while back.

"This one thing that I desire from the Lord" is not a bad desire, (well its really not a desire anymore is it?) he told me I could have it, but he didn't tell me when, but like an impatient child I keep wanting to ask " Lord, are we there yet?" "Is it time yet?" not realizing that I was treading the line of idolizing my desire.
The thought of putting my desire of this one thing before God and letting it consume the majority of my thoughts and prayers shook me to my core. I asked the Lord, "what must I do, I know you promised me, but how can I stop thinking about your promise?" " Put it on the alter" he replied "burn it up!!!" Hebrews 12:29For our God is a consuming fire. Exodus 12:10And ye shall let nothing of it remain until the morning; and that which remaineth of it until the morning ye shall burn with fire.
So I did. I put my "one thing that I desire of the Lord", on the alter and let it burn up. I cried, I prayed, I fasted, I cried some more. I didn't understand why I had to let my "One Thing" desire burn.After all didn't he tell me I could have this one thing? He didn't tell me when, but he told me it was mine, but still I just let it go. I sacrificed it to him, burned it on his alter and sat back and watched it burn to nothing but ash... But my God is so faithful, after my one thing was burned to ashes, God so gently whispered in my ear.... I give them beauty for ashes! Isaiah 61:3To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Now you are talking about some one who was snotting and sniffling, I was so happy in my soul that I could do nothing but praise, him. The more I praised, the more he sent scriptures to me. Ecclesiastes 3:11He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
Isaiah 64:4For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.
1 Corinthians 2:9But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

I know I love God, I know I am waiting on him, and he is promising me that he will make all things beautiful in his time. What better thing to have, than the "one thing I desire, to be burn to ashes, and made beautiful in his own time. It can't get any better than that. So what is your one thing? What ever it is, if it is consuming your thoughts and prayers, try putting it on the alter, and trading beauty for your ashes... Stay blessed and encouraged to fight the good fight of faith. Praises be to God and have a wonderful weekend.

PS: I will let you know when I receive my beautiful "one thing that I desire of the Lord", I feel it won't be long"

The Power Of The Daddy's Girl

2008-03-06T09:30:00.008-06:00

And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18.
daddy's girl graphic from art.com

Just how powerful is the daddy's girl bond?? We read so many stories and studies about how important it is for the health of a woman's self esteem for her to have an unshakable position as a daddy's girl. If there were ever any evidence as to the truth of this, then it is now unfolding in front of our eyes. Recently I wrote a few posts about the idolization of pop culture, and how it is detrimental to our young children. I wrote this post at a time when a certain pop star and family was having a virtual breakdown in front of the entire world. Every time you turned on the TV, or logged on the Internet, or even passed by the newsstands in the local supermarket, there was some type of news about this poor girl and/or her family. My heart went out for her, I prayed for her as if I knew her personally. I prayed for her children who so needed their mom to sit down and put them first. I followed the news about her not because I am a fan, but because I can see the strong hold that the enemy has on her life and how children look up to her and other stars in her position and it burdened me.

But then, an awesome thing happened!! Her daddy decided that it was enough to see his little girl drug through the mud, so he stepped up and did what should have been done a long time ago, against her will he took control of her life. He realized that she was not acting as a mature adult, but as a confused child. She was not choosing the right friends, nor was she making the right decisions, so he against her will, and in the midst of public scrutiny became the head of her life right now.

The outcome; well she has seen her children twice, she's sleeping, she isn't in the media crying for attention by doing outlandish things, and she seems to be regaining a small sense of peace and normalcy. If only she would embrace the power of being a daddy's girl to her heavenly father, I wonder then what her life could become.

I said all that to say this, little girls need that relationship with their daddies. And this natural need parallels our spiritual need to be a Daddy's Girl. Women who don't have a husband as the head will continue to need that unshakable relationship with their fathers. Also, we as women all need that relationship with our Heavenly Daddy to fill that void that the enemy is so longing to fill with detriments. If there is no biological father in your life, then I can only recommend that you deepen your relationship with your what I like to call the "True Biological Father"- (God). He only lent us earthly fathers, and since he created us I like to think of him as our biological father.
Just as I depended on my dad growing up, (and I still do) I depend on God even more. And I am grateful that my dad would always point me to my heavenly father, even if were something simple that he could fix. Every little girl should have this, but if this is not the case, then we as mothers need to be in a position that we can teach our daughters to fill that void by cleaving to the Almighty Father.

I could go on and on about a subject that has already been proven, but for this moment I want to share this snippet of encouragement that I received as I watched the progress of a troubled star unfold. Maybe, just maybe this will send a message to all other parents who feel the need to support rather than nurture and guide their children's dreams.

All in all there is nothing wrong with being a Daddy's Girl especially when your father is the All Powerful God.

Stay Blessed and Encouraged-smfg

The Mouths Of Babes

2008-03-05T14:16:00.002-06:00

Children say the simplest, most funniest things. Over the weekend, we experienced weather in the 70's, then Monday it rained. Yesterday I woke my children up to a wonderful surprise, school was closed and it was snowing! They raised the blinds and shouts of cheer and joy were all I could hear. Mind you, I was not at all happy about school being closed, or at entertaining the idea of driving in the snow to work, but my daughters had the most candid conversation in the car, and it made me forget about all the grown-up worries that come with snow, traffic, and school closings. I could only just reflect in the awesome power of God who controls the weather along with my little simple life.

Below I give you the conversation between my daughters. My youngest loves to be called " "Chocolate Drop" and my oldest calls her self"Neenie Pooh". Half the time I can't remember what to call them so I call them Frick and Frak.

Anyway to make such a long story short, as I was dropping them off at daycare ( no snow day for mommy) they were on the phone with pa-pa telling him all about the snow. The conversation went something like this:

CD- "Is it raining at grannie and pa pa's house"

NP- "Nope , its only raining there"

CD- "Pa Pa ( yelling through the phone) I'm gonna call the news and tell the weather people to give ya'll some snow!"

CP- "It's not fair for you not to have snow. Mommy why can't the weather man give pa pa and grannie some snow, all they have to do is put that snow thing on the map?????? "

Needless to say, I corrected her letting her know that the snow comes from God, not the weather man, but still, its always nice to hear such a simple and honest explanation from a child's point of view...

Oh yeah , did I mention that it's in the high 60's today??? Only in Arkansas

Re- Post Guarding Our Focus

2008-03-03T13:33:00.002-06:00

Hello Friends,

I know that lately I have been MIA and hopefully in the very near future I can share more as to my current situation. In the meantime, I was going through my older posts and this post jumped out at me. I hope it rejuvenates you on this Monday as it did me.

Isaiah 26:3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Guarding Our Focus

How does one stay focused when you don't really know what to focus on? Have you ever been in a situation that is so new and so uncharted that you don't even know how to even talk to God about it? Not to sound pitiful, but I am in such a bit of a pickle. I know that I need to remain focused on God and his will right now. However, I feel just as anxious and unfocused as my six year old does when her attention span shuts down! :)

Whoever said that remaining in God's will (while trying to remain focused on what He wants and not what you want) is easy needs to come and see me like right now! Because I am realizing today, more than ever that when you are used to being in control and you release your control you have to completely walk away from it. I almost feel like I did when I left my newborn off with my parents for the first time. Now I knew she was in good hands but I felt the need to keep calling and coming by to check on her, and who better to take care of her than the ones who took care of me??
It is exactly the same situation when we take our problems, concerns, desires, and burdens to God. We have to drop them off at the cross and keep walking, never looking back until we are told or called to come back to pick up our blessing or answer. Meanwhile, we must focus ourselves on things other than what we left in his hands. This my friends is the test.So today, I have resolved that I am going to keep my mind off my newborn- because that is how I feel about what I have given to God. I will walk away, I will find something to do for Him, I will take care of myself, I will not idolize it, I will throw my focus on my family. I will not keep thinking about it, I won't ask God how it is, or when is a good time for me to pick it up. I will guard my focus because in the end I know that It shall be and it is well ( II Kings 4:22-26) .

I have posted below my favorite passage of Scripture:
Matthew 6:32-34 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

What If God Needed A Break ???

2008-02-28T16:13:00.005-06:00

Today I didn't think that I would have the time available to blog today, but after posting a comment on mommy to be Terry's blog, I had a thought that I just have to share. Basically Terry wrote a wonderful post about the misleading notion of a woman's need for me time putting self first, and how there is no scriptural evidence to support this manner of thinking. You must read it, I promise it's really interesting and well put. You can read it here

I used to think this way, I can't lie! I would feel so overwhelmed and sometimes shuffle my kids to different activities or to grannie and pa-pa's just so I could have a few minutes of me time and put my needs first. Now I don't believe that it's wrong to want a simple moment of time to re-group, re-focus, and rejuvenate your maternal batteries however, I do agree with Terry that the world has a way of inviting a selfish ideology of putting "me" first. While I was going through this frazzled phase of needing me time, I would feel guilty about it and not even be able to enjoy my time. Then one day as my children were with a friend so that I could do chores uninterrupted, the thought came to me: What if God put me off on someone else so that He could have some uninterrupted God time. Surely he is much more busier that I am. What if he called one of his angels up and said, " Hey, I'm tired, stressed, and stretched way too thin can I get you to watch my children for me for a while"

If God did this, would he leave me with someone who would handle my issues as he would, would they listen to me as he does, would they meet my needs or fight my battles just as God does in that one little moment that he needs time to himself. I tell you I shudder to think of the outcome. Needless to say, I don't do that anymore. I mean true, I do feel overwhelmed, and when God leads I let my children go off to activities and visits but I can enjoy those quiet moments because I know that they from God and not done in my selfish nature.

So I pose the thought to all What if God needed a break from us?

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged

GIVEAWAY!!!! Free Ebook Of Choice

2008-02-25T10:53:00.008-06:00

Galations 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

My graciously wonderful and simply darling friend Lylah whom I have linked to in a number of posts has decided to extend an wonderful offer of reading pleasure to my readers cuz she likes me a whole, whole lot:) Seriously, I literally opened up my email to this awesome message:

"if any of your readers go to my LCM site they
can pick a gift e-book...they just need to email me and then post back on YOUR blog...what they chose...and IF they want...why... no strings...just want to give away...and bless
women..."- lylah

I mentioned before on my blog that Lylah was an wonderful life coach, and a former single mom like myself. I have read her e-book "Prayers for Your Mighty Man" and thought it was a refreshing tutorial of a woman's strength and power as her husband's help meet. Her wisdom and grace is so inviting that I have contemplated on several occasions flying to Arizona just to sit in her kitchen to chat, watch her cook, and stuffing my face all while basking in the light Titus 2:3. So please take advantage of this wonderful offer as it expires at 7 pm on Wednesday. Check out this link, pick a book, any book of your heart's desire, E-mail Lylah, and post your choice in my comments section along with your name and the"why" behind your choice. While you're picking out your book, peruse through her blog and website, I am sure you will leave fulfilled and possibly hungry:)

Thanks Lylah for passing on such a wonderful treat!!! Be Blessed and Stay encouraged!-smfg

Warning: I'm Shouting From My Soap Box

2008-02-22T10:42:00.011-06:00

Warning: Today I am speaking from the emotions of my heart on a issue that I find truly despicable and detesting,RACISM.
There are not many things in this world that I just absolutely hate, but there is just this one thing that makes my blood boil and pressure rise and it is racism...... Many of you who frequent my blog have noticed by my pictures that I am an African American woman. I love my race and I love embracing and learning about other races and cultures. As a Christian, I have no room in my heart to dislike or to be unaccepting of any human being that was created by my heavenly father. I just wish the world thought the same.
Yesterday, an event happened with one of my girls that for me was just like pulling a band aid off a open sore- it stung and hurt like the dickens.
I know that many people of my generation believe that the race divide has shrank, and true it has tremendously, but when you grow up in and continue to live in the rural south, you almost forget that it has. You are reminded daily, in subtle, sometimes not so subtle ways. Myself, I can take it. I grew up in a town that was about 30 minutes from the national headquarters of the Klu Klux Klan. I grew up in an area where you were afraid to get stopped on back roads by the local law enforcement. I grew up in an area where the roots of hatred were so deep they seemed to be never ending, and those seeds were forcefully planted in the minds and hearts of the next generations, I am accustomed to the looks and the tobacco spits when you walk by, and the negative connotations that are said under the breath as you walk or drive by. I am used to the Confederate flag in front yards, truck bumpers, belt buckles, tee-shirts, and every where else you can slap it on. I'm used to that, and I used that to motivate myself to become more educated and to embrace all the knowledge that comes with learning about other people.
However, what I can't handle, is explaining this to my children. Every time I have to, it's like someone sucks the breath out of my lungs. How do you shatter the innocent love of a child by explaining the ghost of Jim Crow that lingers around, resurrected by his children's children. I know that this may be a sore topic for some, but for me its a reality. For my children it is becoming a reality. Trying to explain God's love and creation of all people in his likeness and image in one breath, and trying to explain why you are hated for the very distinguishable characteristics that makes us all different can be a task sometimes.
I say all this because I want to caution that just because we see strides in the racial divide, it is not closed completely. Racism is a lingering stench that floats in air in may forms. Please don't hide this ugly truth from your children when and if they see it and ask. They need to know that it's not from God and its a hurtful thing that makes him unhappy. We need to continue to plant seeds of love, teach them about other races, and cultures. Don't limit them to only Black History, there are so many other histories that we can all learn from. A good way to start, is with the Bible.
I know February is legally supposed to be black history month for the majority of this nation, but for me, it is a daily history lesson. History is constantly in motion. History never ends. History is always someones story of yesterday, and yesterday is every day.
Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged- smfg.

My Strong, Single Mama Twin Tribute

2008-02-21T17:24:00.004-06:00

You all have probably heard me refer to my blogging buddy Diane/Persuaded over at Tomato Soup Cake as my Single MamaTwin... Today I was reading a post of hers that touched my heart and made me want to cry. Her strength and determination made me proud to be her single mama twin and sister in Christ. Thanks Diane for being such a role model and inspiration to me.

As a single mom sometimes it can be a burden not to have that male presence to take care of household maintenance or " manly stuff". The enemy will use those very times to make you feel burdened or lowly about being single. I will be the first to admit, there have been numerous times when I have had to fight hard and cry out to God in this very battle. God has always been faithful to give me what I needed in this area without me having to compromise my salvation and my standards while being single. I wanted to share Diane's post as another witness of the awesome power that comes with stepping out of your comfort zone to show God that you are not willing to compromise your singleness over those little bumps that the enemy intensifies and exaggerates as detrimental. Below is just a snippet of her post, you can read the rest here. I promise you it will touch your heart.

It's a humbling thing to have to depend on your children at times like
that. When you have to waken them out of a sound sleep and a warm bed.. to bring them into cold and wind and possible unsafety because you just have no other hands to use. It's humbling to have to ask the advice of a nine year old child because he is your best asset at figuring out the stapler. It's hard on a teenage girl to be startled awake and asked to do something new and scary, and then find her cozy little corner of the world isn't so cozy anymore. You know, I really wish that wasn't the reality for my kids.But can I also tell you something that almost makes it all worthwhile?The love of friends. The care of my brothers and sisters in Christ. People who are willing to spend their own precious spare time to help us out, even though it isn't convenient or fun.- Persauaded

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

Just Dropping In

2008-02-20T17:04:00.003-06:00

graphic from art.com Just dropping in to let everyone know that I am thinking about you all. This has been a very busy season for me and I just have not learned how to balance working, home, and blogging. It is a learning process. But know that when I am unable to blog daily, I have post swirling around in my head and I do wonder what you all are up too. Thanks for all the emails checking on me. I will be back tomorrow Lord willing. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!!! smfg

Hug Challenge

2008-02-15T16:23:00.001-06:00

Mission Accomplished!!!
This was a wonderful bonding experience with my kids. You should try it sometime. I will say that 100 is a lot of hug, double that and you will need a relaxing soak afterwards. Maybe I will have toned arms after this... Anywhoo Have a wonderful weekend!!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY/ HUG CHALLENGE!

2008-02-14T14:56:00.007-06:00

hug graphic from art.com
I wanted to take a quick moment and wishe everyone a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Today is a day that I like but somewhat dislike. I hate the commercialism of Valentines Day and the value system that is placed on this one day. My motto is " Love like everyday is Valentine's Day" So with that being said I won't continue to sound like a VDay basher. I will move on to the next subject. My Hug Challenge.

Of course when I told my girls about it they were estatic. So all morning I was hugging and I am down near half. Needless to say tonight is going to be a busy night. All in all I wouldn't trade the grins and laughter for anything. I may have to try this more often. Its contaigeous.

To my special Valentine's, I love you! You are the best things that have happened in my life. I will always thank God for the gift of unmeasurable, unconditional, and pure love. I am truly blessed!

Have a wonderful day full of love and if you think you have no one to love or who loves you, then reflect on Christ the one who loves you so much that he died for you. Think of your self today, make it a point to say to yourself 5 good things about you. Please don't fall into the trap of letting balloons, hearts, chocolates, bears and all that other stuff define your worth. If you don't get anything from a person then guess what, TREAT YOURSELF!!!!!

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged and remember that GOD LOVES YOU!!

100 Hugs Valentine Challenge

2008-02-13T17:02:00.005-06:00

Okay, work with me on this one! I know I am on a roll and am trying to catch up for lost blog time, but I am proposing a challenge. Tomorrow as we all know is the worlds most expensive display of love day Valentine's Day. I was trying to find something creative to do with my girls and voila! I have an idea. Starting now, right now until tomorrow when they go to bed I am going to give both of my girls 100 hugs.... each!

Now I am not just going to hug them robotically, but I am going to make a game of it. I am going to tell them and make them tally up each time they get a hug... Trust me they will keep me on my toes and they won't let me forget my spot.

Having them count down and keep me abreast will probably be the most enjoyable part of the whole challenge. So if you are up to it, find a creative way to keep score and hug each one of your kids and or spouse 100 times before their bed-time tomorrow! Link back in and tell me how its going if you like and pictures will always make the show brighter. So move those arms and get to huggin!

ps: It's free!

Judged By Every Idle Word- Advice & All

2008-02-13T15:42:00.011-06:00

Today will more than likely be one of my longer posts. In part because it will be two-fold. One, I was reading a post by Anna S in which she shared a touching and sad email from a reader seeking advice about how to handle a very sensitive subject, namely her unhappy marriage. I couldn't help but to share my points of view on some of the comments that were left for the author of the e-mail. Two I wanted to elaborate on a piece of advice the reader left in her email to single women who are seeking marriage and how not to follow in her footsteps.

Please, please visit Anna's post in its entirety here. Also with her permission I included a little excerpt from her post which is a part of the email sent to her. Thanks Anna for such a wonderful post and allowing me to share my point of view.

My marriage has been a disaster. It has been emotionally taxing for me. He is not really a Christian. He smokes, decided he wanted to become a "rapper" and spends every weekend in the club promoting his music. I have seen emails where he flirts with other females and encourages them to call him. He does not want me to be a stay at home mother to our child, preferring instead for him to go to daycare. A woman sent me an email telling me that they have been having an affair for almost a year. But, he vehemently denies it.I want to get a divorce soooooo bad!!! I wish I had been wiser. I should have married a man who was a strong Christian, with longer evidence of living the Christian life. I had been wise in my relationships up until him. Me being a "silly" woman in the end and marrying this man has made my lifemiserable, and my parents stressed with worry, because they know that I deserve better, and think that I should leave him.

Okay now for my little random two cents. I feel for this lady, I feel for her so bad because I can understand how she feels. However, as I stated when I left my comment on her post, all I feel that I can do is pray that God shows her unmistakably what HE wants for her to do concerning this situation that HE has allowed in her life for reasons un-comprehendible to us who may read about it.

On my blog I try real hard not to make it practice to solicit or give out advice concerning deep personal matters on marriage, sex, childrearing and other such topics. I do share my beliefs on certian topics on according to what God shows me, but I do wonder how God feels if or when we tell another person something that may not be in His will.

Not to say that I am bashing anyone who does, but I don't feel comfortable. Some of the comments ranged from leave him, to pray for him, to you can leave him but never remarry and while they all may sound correct, how do we as mere servants have the right to advise someone on things that will have to be given an account for at the day of judgment? Scripture clearly states that we will be judged for EVERY idle word! Every comment, every piece of advice, every thought that never even made it out of our mouth.

I do believe wholeheartedly in teaching, encouraging and training and giving sound scriptural and natural advice to each other as women as well as learning from one another on biblical principles. I just don't feel comfortable with advising someone on certain topics that may cross certain spiritual boundaries or that are very personal in nature (even if I have been through the same ordeal). What worked for me in a situation may not be in God's plan for another. I fear standing before God and him saying "you shouldn't have told such and such that, she listened to you and that is not what I had in my will for her to do!" I just think that we as sisters need to make sure that when we comment on someone's personal situations we are truly led by God before we give out advise. Or better yet just pray with and/or for the person that they will be able to see and hear God's voice and understanding for thier situation. I could very well be wrong.

Okay, that's enough on that soap box. My second point was in relation to what the reader advised single women to do when waiting for a mate. This is what she said and I agree wholeheartedly.

"So, I encourage all unmarried ladies to really pray and seek God before deciding to marry someone, talk to your parents, and really know that this man leads a life of integrity. It will save you much heartache later on"

This was the most powerful part of the whole e-mail in my eyes. As a single woman who desires marriage, I don't want this to happen to me. I lived relationships enough like this before I allowed God in my life and if I could do one thing, it would be to encourage other single women to wait on God. It is so worth it! No amount of lonliness now is worth a lifetime vow of miserableness in the future. There is so much more I could say and share but I will save it for later. Thanks for reading. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! -smfg

Yea!!!!! I Won Something!

2008-02-12T10:17:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my blogging buddy Terry, for giving me this wonderful award on her blog!! She and her blog Ornaments of Grace has been very instrumental in inspiring some of my thoughts and I have learned so much from her and the other ladies that she links to! Thanks Terry, I would give an acceptance speech, but since speeches and embarassment go hand in hand for me I will just simply say thanks for this blessing!!!!

In my token of good faith, I would like to pass this award on to Lylah, and Persuaded because they are my singlemomma twins seperated before conception. Llyah who once was a single mom; and is now married to her "Music Man" has been an inspirational life coach for women of all walks and stages of life. Diane (Persuaded) always tickles me with her humerous antics and promises of an arranged marriage between her darling son and one of my daughters! I love the fact that she is a Christian, single, stay at home, homeschooling mama who always is full of laughter and brightness! Thanks to all you ladies who continously encourage me and keep me wanting to write more. You will never know how much you help me daily.

Be Blessed and Stay encouraged!-smfg

I'M BAAAACK!!!! (I Think)

2008-02-08T09:05:00.001-06:00

I am so glad to be back in the blog world! I have been away under the weather since Tuesday. I came to work on Tuesday, stepped on the elevator and everything else was nothing more than a blur.... All I remember is ambulances, EMT's, being stuck in the arm with needles, and having a room full of friends and family at the hospital fussing over me. So I decided this time to take my doctor's and my mother's and others' orders and just rest and get a check up. This was hard for me because I absolutely hate going to the doctor. But I did, and now I am waiting on test results and waiting is not really my strong suit.

Then I had a thought, I think that we don't do that enough! Wives, mothers,and all women; we just don't listen to our bodies enough. We tend to push through the little illnesses thinking that the world can't make it with out us and then one day our bodies just say ENOUGH SILLY WOMAN YOU NEED REST!!! So, it shuts down and makes us depend upon the mercy of its healing time. At least that is my story. I still don't feel 100% not even 75% but I am learning that I must listen to my body and take care of me. Taking care of me doesn't me selfish. It doesn't mean that I don't love my family less. I finally realized that it means I love my family more, because I am doing what it takes to ensure that they are able to have all of me, versus parts of me. Just my ramblings for the day....

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

Another Dating Post.....( Sorry, But I Just Had To)

2008-02-04T14:58:00.000-06:00

Okay, Okay... I know I have spent the past couple of posts talking about dating and its negatives and I hate to sound like an anti- dating tyrant but something happened over the weekend that just re- stirred my emotions on this topic.This weekend while eating dinner at a very popular restaurant, I had a very heart breaking conversation with the young lady who was my server.

This young girl was very strikingly beautiful with personality to match and I almost choked on my drink when she stated that she was only 17, a high school senior taking a full load of honors classes, working 40hrs/week and had just been accepted into a very prestigious nursing school. What's wrong with that you may ask?

Well this poor baby ( yes I said baby) sat down and talked to us for over an hour about how unhappy she was with her current relationship of two years with a 19 year old who takes her money, breaks up with her on weekends (openly for other girls) , constantly told her how fat she is, but who desires to move in with her and gave her a bubble gum promise ring to prove his undying love. Did I mention that she works 40/hrs a week and he is currently unemployed but always needs gas money?

I asked her very simply and calmly with all the love I could, “ Why don’t you just leave him?” “ You see and know that he doesn’t love you” “You have your whole entire future waiting on you and you are such a beautiful young lady” Her response- “ I know he doesn’t love me, but I can’t let him go. I need him, and he is all I know, I have been with him since I was 15”
At that very moment I wanted to jump across the table and hug her. I asked if she were close to her mom, she says “yes, my mom prays for me when I cry but I just can’t leave him”

I went on to talk with her and just share my story and similar experiences with her and how life may turn out for her if she doesn't leave him. I left promising her that I would keep coming back to check on her frequently. My heart went out for her. To be so emotionally scarred and bound at such a young age. To be so young and entangled in such an adult experiences and lifestyle is heart wrenching for me. To be emotionally bound by another person for years and not just any years but teenage years, the best years, the free years.

This is painful reality in so many young precious lives. How can we as mothers prevent this? Well, we can start by standing firm and sheltering our children from the wiles of dating. We can also start by explaing our firm stand to them at a young age. We can finish by validating our children, showing them how precious they are in God's sight. Ensure that they know they are a gift only to be unwrapped by the person God gifts them to. Let us remember to keep praying for this young generation. Pray that God will give them the peace of a happy childhood with out the worries of an adult experience.

Be Blessed, Stay Prayerful and Stay Encouraged!

Dating Part II

2008-02-01T09:04:00.000-06:00

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man will have to seek him first to find her.- author unknown

First I apologize in advance for the length of this post today, second, I wanted to thank all of you who commented and e-mailed me about my post yesterday on Should A Single Mom Date. I recieved a couple of personal emails that really got me to thinking about how to broaden my post on this topic. I prayed about it and I feel that God would have me to re-direct my post to this direction.

Yesterday's topic of single mothers' dating is just one facet of how passionate I feel about the subject of dating. Protecting our children from this stronghold is where the core heat of my fire burns for this topic. As a teenager I did not date. I was not allowed. As you can read in my profile I was raised in a very Godly home. Both of my parents were on one accord about the subject of dating. However, the peer pressure that I recieved as school was overwhelming. When I reached my senior year, I did openly with permission date one person. I knew I was leaving home soon and I believe that my parents felt that I needed to know how to conduct myself aound the opposite sex. I believe that my parents knew this young man loved me and he wanted to marry me. However, once I got into the real world the options for exploring the possiblity were a little overwhelming and I forgot about the young man who wanted to marry me. If we could do it all over again, we would have probably stuck with the no- dating rule. I was not ready for worldly dating. Trust me I have the battle scars to prove it. I wish there had been more discipline there in keeping my mind off boys. God is so good though, to give me a life experience handbook to use for my children.

While we can look back and talk about things now, I learned did not have that relationship with my parents to where I talked about my overwhelming feelings back then. This my dear sisters is important. I was a child of the 80's and early 90's and life was a lot simpler then, I don't think I could have survived in the mid 90's and this new millennium as a teenager. I cry for what my girls will possibly deal with even further into the future. Everything now is so cyber driven. Puppy love has gone from 10 page letters full of song lyrics, and tasteful walks down the hall to each other's lockers, to full fledge racy camera phone pictures and walking through the corridors with hands shoved in each other's back pocket! We won't even talk about the other ungodly disgraceful things kids do right infront of adults with not even an inkling of shame.

I did not have these strong holds growing up. There is no such thing as the base system anymore. There is no such thing as simple teddy bears and balloons and candy. Teenagers these days are planning families from the first kiss. Where are they getting this from? DATING! There are actually little girls who have full meltdowns when they are dumped! No child should ever have that much stress over another child. It's so sad to see these children come into adulthood emotionally scarred from a teenage relationship that has adult intensity.

Our culture has grasped on to dating and just taken if for a wild ride. Almost every television station has some sort of reality show that gives this false idea to adults and children alike that you can meet and fall in love by going through a house full of women and men or even both. When they look around all they see really is casual love, or should I say lust. Even parents of young children make a big to do about the first date at ages anywhere from 14-16. This must stop! There is no message being sent of sitting still and waiting for the right mate to be sent to you by God. I am pretty sure that this subject has been beaten to death but as women of God I feel that it is our duty to wave the banner of bible pricipals and virtures concerning interaction with the opposite sex.

It burdens me when I see little boys and girls playing together and grown ups automatically label them as boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not cute, its a seed planted in an innocent mind. From the time our children are born, we should start praying for the mate that God has for them. We should teach them to pray early and ask God to help them with thier feelings. Pray for the purity of thier hearts and emotions. Teach them that liking someone is okay as long as it is a friend, but when you feel different just come and talk to mommy and /or daddy about it. Most of all listen to them. Children are going to have crushes, our job as parents is to teach them to overcome those emotions.Teach them how to crush the crush.

If there is no communication about dating, courtship, marrige, crushes, puppy love, lust ect.. in your home please trust me when I tell you that the world outside your four walls has more communication that you and I could ever imagine. Heather Paulsen wrote a book and has a blog titled Emotional Purity. I would urge you to check both out. I am purchasing the book and posting a review on my blog.

I still have so much more to say but I will stop here. Have a wonderful weekend -smfg

Should A Single Mom Date??

2008-01-31T14:48:00.000-06:00

I wanted to share a question with you that I have been asked countless times recently. " You're a beautiful girl, why don't you date?" So I pose the question Should single mothers date? My answer NO!

Some may ask why? "Its a lonely life being a single mom, I just want someone to talk to other than the kids, or sometimes I just want adult attention". This is a very valid and understandable point, but as someone who believes in and values biblical courtship for the sole purpose of marrying the mate that God has for you; dating just doesnt fit into the paremeters of my belief system.

Now, I will be the first to admit that in my sinner days, I used to date. Matter of factly so, I was in a very serious off and on again relationship for a number of years that in fact led me as far away from marriage as possible. Was it an experience that was healthy for my children? Absolutely not! Did it leave me with scars that I am still in the healing process from? Yes it did. Would I want my daughters to date? Captial NO!

Casual dating in no way provides a healthy enviorment for your children or your sprituality. As women of God if you date, you give your time, energy,emotions and possibly other pieces of you that God intends for you to give to the husband that he has for you.You are not hiding your precious soul in him. You're not waiting to be found. You are test driving, testing the waters, kissing the frogs to find your prince. Basically you are idolizing your lonliness and desire for a mate and putting God somewhere on your list besides number one. Not to mention the picture that you paint for your children as they see you visit, or date person after person while you seek Mr. Right.

As we all know, children are like sponges. They absorb everything they see and what we don't know they see. After overhearing my daughters talk about how they wanted thier boyfriends ( not husbands) to treat them, I knew that it was time for me to get my act together and let the Lord direct this area of my life.

Was it easy to forsake dating and sit still and trust in God? In the beginning I thought it was, BUT only because of my mindset. I did not go into my relationship with God putting him first and being patient. I had to get to a point where I saw the ugliness of dating and the beauty of a bible courtship. Once I saw the blessing of the possiblity of God blessing me with a mate vs a for-now I was sold. I was sold over entirely to God and his direction for my future. Who better to pick a spouse than the person who created your equal?

The best thing is that my beautiful daughters are able to see their mommy totally trusting and leaning on God and not a man. Conversations went from boyfriends to God sent husbands. I actually cried when I heard my oldest say that "she wanted God to send her a husband because husbands are better than boyfriends". Even thought I don't have sons, I have nephews and I want them to see that Godly men find wives. Not partners, or one night stands, or girl friends or anything that does not resemble the purity and holiness of a God ordained relationship/marriage.

Well let me correct that last statement, God does not ordain relationships, he ordains marriges. For the sake of time, I will post a part two tomorrow Lord willing, but today I want to leave you with a saying that a friend of mine gave me. I used to keep this saying on my cubicle wall. Be blessed and stay encouraged- smfg

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man will have to seek him first to find her.- author unknown.

Viruses Are Decieving

2008-01-31T09:33:00.000-06:00

Note to self- viruses are very sneaky, decieving little nusaunces. One moment you think you are over them and feeling back to your good old self, the next moment they come back with a one-two- punch. It's either that, or I am getting old and not able to bounce back as fast as I used to. I feel good about blaming the virus and not my age. I now officially feel better. I have a series of posts that God laid on my heart to write and I can't wait to share. Today will be a two post day. Be Blessed and Stay encouraged.-smfg

Girly Girl Weekend Re- Cap

2008-01-28T15:47:00.000-06:00

my in-house medical advisers

After recuperating from our faux -inclement weather its back to the grind as usual for us. Monday always starts off hectic but at least I am refreshed. Girly girl weekend was a little disappointing due to variation from the original plan but in the end it worked out better than I could ever plan. Friday evening I started feeling very dizzy and yucky with this sore throat virus thing that was going around, my lethargic state sent my two girls into medical mode. And I must admit, I feel much better today after my two in-house doctors prescribed bed rest and rolled up deli meat coupled with Doritos's, OJ and noodles for me. Lessons learned, well I found out that it really hurts when a young doctor jabs the ear thermometer in your ear and then yells that they can't see the fever. I also found out that you don't need to be alarmed when your temp is according to the (same doctor) 9 degrees. Also learned how relaxing it is not to leave the house for a full 36 hours. And, I learned that don't be surprised what the rest of the house looks like once your young doctors have released you from bed rest. Even more importantly don't expect those very same doctors to follow any rules of the chore chart if you are indeed under the weather and are not around due to prescribed bed rest to micro-manage. All in all I had a very relaxing and lazy weekend.

Frugal Friday- Free Family Fun

2008-01-25T11:58:00.000-06:00

In keeping with Crystal's at Biblicalwomanhood tradition of Frugal Fridays, I thought I would post about how I am going to have some free family fun. Since we are experiencing inclement weather conditions here in Arkansas and will probably be house bound most of the weekend I decided that for my Frugal Friday, I am going to go home and give my children the freest gift I can- my time. I am going to focus on making this wintery day their day, and bake and just sit up and watch girly girl, or wintery movies and just hang out! The cost- totally free! Have a blessed and safe weekend. smfg

Lighthouse Musings

2008-01-23T09:59:00.000-06:00

If you were to ask me what my favorite iconic landmark is, I would have to tell you that I have a love for light houses. To me they are the most amazing structures, and the history behind them is inspiring. Its amazing to me that in the merchant days of old, ship captains would look for the light reflected from the light house as a beacon of safety and refuge during those tempestuous storms, just as God does for us. He stands there during our fiercest storms, beckoning the much needed light that determines the route to his safety.

Its an awesome and powerful feeling when you finally reach the inner sanctuary of that lighthouse and to know that you have made it safely into God's arms. Many times the waves seem so strong and violent, so overwhelming and undertaking but we have that peace of knowing that there is a light out there, that is guiding us to refuge; and when the storm finally blows over there is the quiet lull of peaceful waters. Be blessed today and always seek refuge in the light of the Almighty. Below are parts of the lyrics to one of my most favorite songs. It was on my heart today.

THERE'S A LIGHTHOUSE ON THE HILLSIDE THAT OVER LOOKS LIFE'S SEA.
WHEN I'M TOSSED IT SENDS OUT A LIGHT,THAT I MIGHT SEE
AND I THANK GOD FOR THE LIGHTHOUSE,I OWE MY
LIFE TO HIM. FOR JESUS IS THE
LIGHTHOUSE,AND FROM THE
ROCKS OF SIN;
HE HAS SHONE A LIGHT
AROUND ME THAT
I COULD CLEARLY SEE
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE LIGHTHOUSE,WHERE WOULD
THIS SHIP BE?

Mustard Seed Faith

2008-01-22T08:42:00.000-06:00

mustard field graphic from art.com
I took a small weekend hiatus from blogging as I just needed some time to myself to think and mediate before the Lord. I never want to post on my blog for the sake of using blog space, I only want to post those things that are glorifying to God as he leads me. I would like to share with you what has been on my mind heavily the past few days. I feel at peace sharing my most intimate thoughts with my readers, this helps me stay focused. It keeps me accountable, and I ask for your prayers that I will grow stronger in this area of my life.

As women, I believe there are times when then enemy tests our faith. Not our faith in the things we desire or ask of God, but our faith in ourselves. We have these nipping insecurities that will rob us of our joy and peace. Mine is a battle of self doubt. With this being said we have to constantly remember that we are daughters of the highest lineage and when we keep his commandments and prove him to be true to his word,then we are deserving of all the blessings he gives us.
I find it so odd that when we are growing up, we place so many unnecessary expectations and time lines on ourselves and our lives. If not careful we let society dictate where we should be in our lives at a certain time in our lives. When we start to reach those self imposed time-lines we want to panic if we are not close to our goals. This all happens simply because in our planning stage we planned, we planned and not God! Hence the anxiousness and undue burdens some women carry about daily. (myself included)

There are certain things that I have been before God about, and now that I am seeing that he is proving himself to me, I find myself battling fear. Fear of unworthiness, fear that I simply am not prepared to receive the gift I have asked for. Fear of my current place in my life and all those unreached goals, and just plain old fear of the unknown. I battle fear that I should be at a certain place in my life in comparison to others who's situations are not even close to being similar to mine.
The funny thing is that this is all how I measure myself, and not how God sees me. I feel strong in my heart that He is pleased with me, so why the fear? Well I guess the fear is there because the enemy needed to clock in to work today. The enemy keeps showing me all the ways that I am not prepared in relation to my measurements. However, God is so faithful, that he will not leave us or forsake us and he will give us victory over our fears and allow us to grow into his blessings. I don't believe one bit that he blesses us before we are ready and able to appreciate, and accept what he gives us.
As I pondered in this thought, I came across the thought for the day that my pastor sends out daily. It was fitting for me at the right moment in time and I wish to share it with you. May it be a blessing to you as it was to me.

thoughts today
Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Years ago my father-in-law gave us a rack of different types of seasonings. The rack holds 30 bottles of seasonings such as paprika, garlic salt, curry powder, etc. I accidentally knocked it down yesterday. While putting the rack back up, I noticed a bottle of mustard seed. The seeds are very, very small.

Jesus talked about mustard seeds. Although these seeds are very small, they are still 100% seed. The seed will produce a plant, and the plant will produce a crop. All of this comes from such a small seed.

God wants us to have faith as a grain of mustard seed. Your faith might not appear to be as large as the next person's faith, but it is still 100% faith. Use it, and watch it produce a large crop.

Matthew 17:20-21 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
21 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. KJV

Thank You God

2008-01-17T15:00:00.000-06:00

Today I am just simply thankful. I jotted down a quick list of things that I am thankful for and by doing so, I easily forgot about anything else that seemed problematic, or momentarily needful.
graphic from art.com
40 Things That I am Thankful For

The genuine hugs and kisses of a certain 6 year old.
The genuine hugs and kisses of a certain 8 year old.
That today is Thursday and a certain 8 yr olds turn to cook dinner
The unexpected phone call I received Tuesday, January 15 at exactly 8:55 am that was such an amazing blessing to me!
The fact that I even though I work, I have my own office, and when I need to I can close my door and pray and read my bible.
That I have access to the Almighty Father
That sees me as his daughter
He talks to me
He listens to me
The fact that there is a cross for me to leave my burdens at and a Christ that wants them.
That I have been delivered!!!
That I can love my enemies and those who spitefully misuse me
That all of my family is still alive, well, and healthy
I am not in Iraq as I could be
My brother and sister are not in Iraq as they could be
I am no longer in an abusive relationship
I lived to tell about it
My mom who drove over 90 miles today to fill in for me at my daughters Honors Assembly
That my daughter received Honors Awards in school
I've never gone hungry
I've never had to sacrifice integrity to take care of my family and God has given me the strength to be both mommy and daddy.
I've never been homeless
I've never had to tell my child we had no food
God's protection over my family
That my children saved my life
That my children make me laugh
That my children are here to make me cry, scream, and yell
That I have hope
I have the light of Christ in my life
That no one can blow it out
That God is God, and not man
That he loved me when I didn't love me
That he taught me how to love me
That I have no problem waking up and going to sleep alone
That God allowed me to find the wonderful sanctuary of blogging!
I have victory over the devil
That my bible is my instruction book
I know the power of a child's unconditional love
That I know the power of a mother's love
That God has and is going to change my life exceedingly abundantly above above all that I ask or think according to his power that worketh within me!

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged- smfg

It Is Well

2008-01-16T13:36:00.000-06:00

My new blogging sister Rosheeda at A New Beginnings had this song posted on her blog the other day, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. I am in an experience right now where I just have to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord ( Exodus 14:13) . When everything is over and has passed, I just want this song to be my living testimony. I hope it encourages you as it has me today. Thanks Rosheeda!

It Is Well...

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,Let this blessed assurance control,That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!My sin, not in part but the whole,Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,Even so, it is well with my soul.It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

It Is Better To Give

2008-01-15T15:18:00.000-06:00

Today God blessed me to be able to do something that I had been told I couldn't do in the past, and just accepted that I could never do it. Today, I donated blood for the first time!! I know it may seem like a little thing, but for me it was a big blessing. Long ago when I tried I was told that my low iron, and my being below the weight guidelines would make me ineligible to be a donor. That coupled with my needle phobia always served as the perfect excuse for me to run the other way whenever there was a Blood Drive . But in light of my post yesterday, I just decided that I was going to refocus my life and try new things. My boss is a die hard Red Cross supporter, and today 30 minutes before our blood drive was to end, he asked if I were going to at least go try.... How could I say no to at least trying? So I walked over, answered my questions, and before I knew it one painless needle stick later I donated my first bag of blood. I feel good, and I thank God for allowing me to physically enjoy this experience.

This Little Light Of Mine

2008-01-15T09:59:00.000-06:00

graphic from art.com
Matthew 5:16Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Today I thought I would share this really encouraging email that my mommy dearest sent me- she is so cool and thoughtful. I hope that it blesses you as it did me! BTW can you see my obsession with light houses?? :)

I was inspired as I read this passage from a devotional that I receive daily. As I read it I was inspired to included you in my prayer as I asked God to give you [us] an opportunity to be the perfect expression of HIS light in your [our] surroundings today as you [we] show your [our] faith, love and courage that originates from the Spirit of God within. With that, please make sure that your 'inner batteries' are energized and ready to shine brightly for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ because you [we] just might be the the only representation of Christ that someone will see today.
So let your little light shine, shine, shine.

Pray for Others
We are living, breathing expressions of God’s spirit.
Praying for another person is a sacred honor. With a love that originates from the Spirit of God within, I offer this prayer:
“Dear God, I pray for loved ones and myself, knowing that it is Your spirit that energizes us and Your wisdom that guides us. In heart and mind, we are one with You; we go about being perfect expressions of Your light in the world.
“Created and sustained by Your love, dear God, I affirm that Your right and perfect will is being fulfilled in our lives and that Your guidance is directing our every thought and activity.
“You are our source of faith, love, courage, health, and every other divine quality that we, as Your children, are capable of expressing. God,
“I will put my spirit within you, and you shall live.”—Ezekiel 37:14

Go Forth and Be Blessed and Seek God for the opportunity to Be a Blessing to someone today.

Guarding Our Focus

2008-01-14T10:27:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 26:3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.graphic from art.com
How does one stay focused when you don't really know what to focus on? Have you ever been in a situation that is so new and so uncharted that you don't even know how to even talk to God about it? Not to sound pitiful, but I am in such a bit of a pickle. I know that I need to remain focused on God and his will right now. However, I feel just as anxious and unfocused as my six year old does when her attention span shuts down! :)

Whoever said that remaining in God's will (while trying to remain focused on what He wants and not what you want) is easy needs to come and see me like right now! Because I am realizing today, more than ever that when you are used to being in control and you release your control you have to completely walk away from it.

I almost feel like I did when I left my newborn off with my parents for the first time. Now I knew she was in good hands but I felt the need to keep calling and coming by to check on her, and who better to take care of her than the ones who took care of me?? It is exactly the same situation when we take our problems, concerns, desires, and burdens to God. We have to drop them off at the cross and keep walking, never looking back until we are told or called to come back to pick up our blessing or answer. Meanwhile, we must focus ourselves on things other than what we left in his hands. This my friends is the test.

So today, I have resolved that I am going to keep my mind off my newborn- because that is how I feel about what I have given to God. I will walk away, I will find something to do for Him, I will take care of myself, I will not idolize it, I will throw my focus on my family. I will not keep thinking about it, I won't ask God how it is, or when is a good time for me to pick it up. I will guard my focus because in the end I know that It shall be and it is well ( II Kings 4:22-26) . I have posted below my favorite passage of Scripture.

Matthew 6:32-34
32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Frugal Friday- Ways I Saved 100$ Last Year

2008-01-11T08:43:00.000-06:00

In keeping momentum with Crystal at Biblicalwomanhood's Frugal Friday post; I wanted to share simple ways that saved $100 last year. When I read her post I couldn't think of anything that I did because it seems as though expenses kept rising in my house. As I was thinking, it became more and more apparent that I remain focused on my financial goals this year. One goal I desire to have is to be more consistent in tracking my expenses so that I can see the savings. I believe as I start to see the savings on paper that I will feel more motivated and encouraged as I am feeling today. So without further ado- My list.

Ways I Saved $100 last year

Learning how to style my daughters hair. I am not trying to be funny, but African American hair needs more maintenance. I learned the art of braids during the summer and only go to the salon once a month for my girls.
Eating on the Kids menu when dining out with friends. I found that if I would be nice enough to ask the server, they would let me order off the kids menu when I did eat out.
Drinking more water by the gallon and less by the bottle. Why did I not think to recycle water bottles from the gallon jugs???
Bringing snacks to work. I just keep a supply of snacks at work which in the end keeps me from the vending machine.
Shopping consignment and 75%+ clearance. Also God has blessed that because I am so small, when people gain weight I am the first person they give clothes to!! The same with my children. I give their clothes away and the Lord blessed the cycle to continue.
EBAY!!! There have been major purchases I bought off of eBay which saved me well over 100$ I got a really cool bread maker for only $10. A brand new TREO Palm for $135. And I could go on for days.
Coupons, Rebates, and Samples!!!
Pot-lucking with friends for dinners.
Taking advantage of the reduce price lunches at school, and re- training my kids not to be such picky eaters. I spent tons of money making lunches according to their eating habits, but now I am like, lunch is paid for its cheaper you eat it or you go hungry. It may sound harsh but I know its healthy and they needed to get to the point where they appreciated a hot meal. ( I know I will get some comments on that one:)
Less gift giving. I learned to tap in my creative side and spend less money buying gifts for everyone out of obligation. I found that most people understood and were happy with what I made.

The Lighter Side of Me

2008-01-10T14:45:00.000-06:00

graphic from art.com
My much older godly single mama twin, (separated before conception) Persuaded was hosting another interesting meme. I figured I would play along and lighten my mood since today I wasn't feeling very creative and am falling into weekend mode a little early. So here we go with all the self exposure. Oh and did I mention that the name of her blog is Tomato Soup Cake if you visit it you will see that the name fits the gal!

Nine Random Things About Me

I love silly socks with very eclectic patterns. I will wear them proudly and dare anyone to laugh.

I once embarrassed myself participating in a beauty pageant during college. And it was in front of my peers, classmates, and parents who drove 2hrs to support me. I gave a very stupid answer to a very easy question. And I do mean stupid- just ask my mom!

I worked for NASA as a graduate intern and hated it!

I am horrible at 3rd grade math- just ask my daughter!

My Mom is the coolest- She doesn't play though, but she has bible wisdom that has rarely been wrong.

I am very afraid of bridges, I cry when I have to drive over them!

I was in labor on my birthday with my oldest daughter- she decided she did not want to share but to wait till the next day. I still don't celebrate my birthday because I am always trying to plan hers!
I don't like eggs at all!
I have been so blessed and encouraged by blogging and by every person who leaves a comment on my blog. Your thoughtfulness makes a big difference in my day many times.

Also I tag anyone who wants to play and I tag AnnaS, Terry, and Rosheeda. You're it! Yes, you. YOU! The cute one behind the keyboard!( stolen from persuaded)
Here are the Rules:
Link to the person who tagged you;
Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours;
Post the rules on your blog;
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog;
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post;
Include links to their blogs;
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

The Way Less Traveled

2008-01-09T10:59:00.000-06:00

the way home graphic from art.com
Matthew 7: 14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

I was reading this verse today and over the past few weeks I have been working on an article for single young people about the over all happy ending when you take the road less traveled. I am not a big, big poetry fan, but I had to memorize the Robert Frost poem The Road Not Taken(below) in the 6th grade, and it has always stuck with me, but more so now than then. It is a testament of my faith in God and living for him, walking his path under the guidance of his direction. Lately I have written about faith, and disappointments and such, but in all that I have been faced with I know that my decision to have peace with God's will places me on the path less traveled. I know that being a single mom really is something of a choice that I made earlier in my life to take the road that is most traveled, following the crowd, living the life of the times but I thank God everyday for pulling me off that path and leading me down the more narrow path which has been nothing but bliss and peace for me. There is a saying " The road to hell is paved with good intentions", well if that's the case, then I will just take the one less traveled, the one that is narrow, the one that comes with a guide to hold my hand through the way, and to carry me when I can't walk and the one that has made all the difference in my life! Be blessed and encouraged today!-smfg
The Road Not Taken
by, Robert Frost
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Tag I'm It!

2008-01-08T13:52:00.000-06:00

My blogging buddy Terry from Ornaments of Grace tagged me on her blog yesterday in a cute and interesting book meme and you know what I really had to think on this one! I don't read too many self help books because in my eyes they all have the same message, and I read mostly history, fiction, and books related to my occupation but I have read some that I thought would make me seem a little worthy for this wonderful game! Thanks Terry!

One book that changed your life: Get Over Yourself by Tanya Pinkins a soap actress that went from Hollywood to Welfare and rose from the ashes!
One book that you have read more than once: What to Expect When Expecting- as if I forgot the first time:)
One book you would want on a deserted island: My Bible
One book that made you laugh: Any Shel Silverstien book when I was a kid, whichI have now passed them on to my daughers.
One book that made you cry: The Rapture and Fox's Book of Martyrs- Don't remember who they are by, but I just knew I didn't want to be lost when God comes back, and I cried at the faith and steadfastness of those who endured true persecution for Christ. ( And yes I know that's two books, sorry:)
One book that I wish had been written: How to Walk Correctly and Pain Free in Heels for Dummies :)
One book that you wish had never been written: Harry Potter
One book you are currently reading: Powerful Prayers for Your Mighty Warrior by Lylah Ledner! Its a great e- book for married and single women, her link is on my favorites!
One book you have been meaning to read: Emotional Purity by Heather Paulsen- I wish this was written when I was younger, but I want to read it so that I can raise my daughers to embrace emotional purity because I feel this foundation will help them fight fleshly pulls to impurity! Her blog is also on my favorites.

I would like to pass the torch on to Llyah, Persuaded and Just Me if you are reading this then TAG you are IT!!!!

Dignity During Disappointment

2008-01-08T09:09:00.001-06:00

Psalm 31: 1 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. graphic from art.com

Who among us has never faced disappointment? I am pretty sure that almost everyone that is able to read this has been disappointed sometime in your lifetime. How did you deal with or accept your disappointment? Did you cry, whine, pout, blame, point fingers, stereotype, or worse throw a tantrum?

Webster's defines disappoint as: to fail to meet the expectation or hope of. And yep, that is exactly what it is, but how is it supposed to feel? More importantly how are we supposed to react when we are disappointed? I ask because lately I have been studying my 6year old. She is a perfectionist in the making, and her tolerance for disappointment is very low. She sighs heavily, throws up and drops her hands and arms in disgust, and just pitches an all out fit sometimes. It doesn't matter if its as little as she can't line up all of her letters evenly or as big as punishment she gets mad and just does not like to be disappointed. So I got to thinking and I thought about the post I wrote, "You are What You Eat" and although she is a child and this is what children do, what may be the type of examples I may have or still may show her when I am faced with disappointment? I had to admit, I have not always maintained dignity. Why dignity? Well the verse above states "let me never be ashamed" and the definition of dignity is the very opposite of being ashamed.

A godly woman who has dignity according to Webster carries the following traits, she is the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed and she maintains a formal reserve or seriousness of manner, appearance, or language, which is how he has called us to be according to his word. Certainly she will not behave ashamedly when disappointment arises. She will remain calm and she will handle her disappointment in a way that is pleasing to God. I say Lord Help me! There will be times when we will be disappointed, but we must trust in the still small voice of God and like I said yesterday when we pray with the mindset of him answering according to his will, our disappointment will not be as hard, or very well be non-existent. I found that we are only disappointed when things don't happen the way we want them to happen and we should want things to be according to his will.

Why is this so important, well as godly women we must exercise dignity during our disappointment because we don't want to raise a generation of children who murmer and complain at the blessings of God's will. We want to raise a generation of children who remain calm in God's will, understanding that God's will is a blessing because he is preventing us from making a complete mess or shipwreck of a situation even when we can't comprehend that we will do so. I thank him for my disappointments because I know that they are mine and not his. My only goal is not to be a disappointment to God and others and to teach my daughters the same. Be blessed and stay encouraged-smfg.

God's Will Be Done

2008-01-07T08:52:00.000-06:00

Luke 1:37-38 For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.
believe graphic from art.com
I wanted to take time this morning to encourage us all to remember those prayers that you have before God. Over the past few weeks I have heard several messages on faith, and standing firm on the response that you receive from God in relation to your requests before him and I am finding that we also have to have the attitude that whatever your will, be it unto me Lord. God's will may or may not be the answer that we are desiring, but we must go into prayer with the conviction in our hearts that we want His answer according to his will, and his word. When we have this attitude we become powerful. We become powerful over the strongholds of doubt, fear, uncertainty, impatience, pride, and last but not least, human reasoning.
We become so powerful that our family will see our prayer, faith,and humility to his will and we can pass this power on to them by precept and example. I remember last week I was not feeling well and my oldest daughter asked to pray for me. I was touched and inspired as she prayed a strong prayer believing that God would be touched by my infirmities. Prayer and belief go hand in hand. It is our most powerful weapon and I continuously ask God to keep my stockpile full.

How is your prayer and belief life? More importantly how is your submission to his will concerning your prayer request? What message are you sending to the little eyes that are watching you as you wait for his answer and the little ears that hear you pray?
Be blessed and Stay encouraged!

2008-01-04T17:20:00.000-06:00

Frugal Friday-Financial Shape in 2008 Challenge

2008-01-04T13:55:00.000-06:00

Crystal, over at Biblical Womanhood has a wonderful challenge of financial management for all of her readers in which you can read here. She also has another wonderful website Money Saving Mom that I also have listed on my favorites because she has opened my eyes to the virtue of frugality.

I will be the first to admit, that my financial plate is not very appetizing to me at the very least, its not disaster but its not five star either. Every year I try to do better but I have never just taken the time to sit down, write a budget and stick to it no matter what the cost. In her challenge, she is encouraging us to do so and become better stewards with our financial blessings. I agree. And it is time to take action. So this year I am committing to this challenge for several reasons. First, It's what God would have me to do and I am just tired of knowing that I am not doing my very best financial planning, the whole single mom excuse it tired and washed out. Secondly, I want to give God my best at everything and just because I tithe doesn't give me an excuse to squander intentionally or unintentionally the remainder of my blessing. And last but not least, I need the discipline! I do desire marriage one day and I don't want to take the independent attitude about finances into a marriage, or leave bad examples for my children. I want to be able to show other single mothers that we can be resourceful and stretch our dollars with discipline.

I know yesterday I said that I didn't make any goals this year, and this is not a goal but a way of life that God has shown me that I need to adapt to that is pleasing to Him. While I won't go into all the details of my current financial budget, I will just elaborate on what I want to improve on. I plan on chronicalling and updating at least once a month just to let you know how I am doing. I ask you to keep me on the straight and narrow by just asking me every so often how things are going. This is very serious to me and I want to suceede. As long as I obey God, I know I will but I know there will be tempations so just pray for me ;)

My Financial Improvements-

A clear, concise, frugal budget.
Cut back on impulse spending, no matter how almost free it is!
Shop for necessities more frugally
Plan menus and only grocery shop once a month, also to stick to my menu
Become and remain more organized so that I will know exactly what needs to be replenished in my home and when.
Save more for me and my family
I get paid once a month ;( yeah I know it's horrible) but I would like to be able to not always have too much month in between paychecks!
Decrease more of my debt as the Lord leads- I don't want to overload myself by trying to take big girl steps, I need baby steps!
Learn to be more creative, I find that you spend less money this way
Stay focused and disciplined by listening to the voice of my husband concerning all things financial!

Any thoughts or ideas- Please share.Stay Blessed and Encouraged-smfg

God's Guiding Light for 2008

2007-12-21T12:49:00.004-06:00

The Guiding Light graphic from art.com
John 12:35Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.

I will admit that last year I started writing this list of goals that I wanted to accomplish for 2008. I don't believe in resolutions but goals, so I prayed over them and wrote and re-wrote and added and subtracted all of these feeble goals that (I) wanted to accomplish. In all this I was thinking that this is what God wanted for me, this is what me and my husband discussed- WRONG!!!!
As I sat in watch service on Monday night, I felt so renewed that 2008 was going to be better because of all these goals I had made, but then the anointing of God came upon one of the brothers of the church who so simply put it all in perspective, directly from God by letting us all know that the only goal we should have for 2008 is to STAY SAVED! Nothing else matters, and by obeying God, everything else will fall into perspective. For me the scriptures Proverbs 3:5 -6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths and, Psalm 139:2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off, lets me know that God knows what I need to do in my life that will glorifyHim and as long as I obey Him and keep His commandments and walk in His light at the sound of His voice HE will direct me to accomplish daily what He sets out for me to do. When I am not walking to the sound of His voice then I am not in His will, and I am leaning to my own understanding and the end result is I still won't accomplish any goal that I set out for myself.
Let us remember to stay in a position where we can walk in God's voice, keeping our heart and our lives pure and free from the sin that cuts us off from the ears and voice of our Heavenly Father. Our main goal for this yearshould be to continue to serve HIM and allow HIM to direct our paths and I have a hard time believing that HIS path won't turn out to be better to any goal that we can come up with!
Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! smfg

So Good To Be Back

2007-12-21T12:49:00.003-06:00

Hello everyone and Happy New Year!! I am so glad to be back in the blogosphere. I took some very well deserved and much needed time off to spend with my precious babies and I didn't have Internet access and figured that well, my life would not end if I couldn't access the Internet. I almost forgot how I used to function before technology.

I am happy in my soul, and in my mind, and in my spirit. The Lord and I really had some really nice downtime this holiday. I can't wait to share all the thoughts I jotted down. I did have fun with my girls... I needed this time to show me just how out of touch I have been with my children. I will always be grateful to God for waking me up to that! I just wanted to check in this year and I will return later today with another post. Happy New Year again!

The Reason For It All!

2007-12-21T12:49:00.002-06:00

graphic from art.com
In case I don't get to post again or you don't get to visit my blog before the Holiday, I wanted to take a moment to first thank you for your contributions to my ramblings, musings, and thoughts. I wish each and every reader a Blessed Holiday Season for which ever holiday you celebrate. It has been a wonderful couple of months blogging and I am excited about the year to come. Lord willing I hope to hear from you all throughout the holiday season and even more in the new year. Even if it is just to say I am still alive! I plan to continue blogging during the holiday if time permits as I am on vacation through the first of the year and my time is promised to my precious babies and my family! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! Remember that Jesus is the reason for this season!smfg

Toot Your Horn Challenge Update

2007-12-21T12:49:00.001-06:00

graphic from art.com

Earlier this week I challenged parents to take the time out and pat yourself on the back for being such a wonderful parent. I also challenged for you to take time out and write down a list of parenting skills that God has blessed you to to be successful with. I finally took my 15 minutes to thank God for what I feel are my parental strengths. As promised I would like to share them with you along with the goals that through his grace I seek to accomplish.

My Tootin'
1. First I thank God for allowing me and keeping me in salvation! I believe that raising my daughters in his fear and obedience resulted in their everyday success's.
2. I raise my girls believing in the power of prayer. Times have been hard lately but I show my daughters that we can pray for that ram in the thicket and I am sure to let them see me give God all the praise.
3. Well rounded-ness I thank him for giving me wisdom and desire to show my daughters other doors and avenues to the world outside of our four corners.
4. My protectiveness- I thank God for giving me the strength to be a protective parent. There are things that my girls want to do that I see would have a long term negative or be unpleasing to him, and as much as it hurts their feelings, I hold to the standards that God has given me.
5.I am content being single. While I do have a desire for my family to be whole and complete traditionally, God has blessed me to be content during this chapter of my life. I have no desire to date and parade men around my daughters. I believe that as they get older they will remember this example and I trust that it will leave positive thoughts in their minds about dating.
6.I stay active in their lives. I support whatever new adventure they want to try. I believe that if you take something worldly away from your children, then you must find a wholesome alternative to keep their minds busy- an idle mind is the devil's workshop.
7. Plain old TLC! Although I fuss and lecture, I shower them with TLC!

My Goals
I am asking the Lord to help me in these areas ( you can pray for me if you like:))
1. To slow down and embrace the little moments. They are getting older and my busy life sometimes keeps me from enjoying the little moments as much as I would like, time is flying by so fast!
2. To become a better listener, coach, and encourager.
3. To be more consistent in keeping a Haven of Refuge in my home
4. Organization, I need to be more consistent in following through and teaching their organization skills. ( no more of that I can do it faster stuff!)
5. More Kitchen time this year!
7. More hugs and kisses and all that stuff in between. I want to be more in touch with my silly side!
Keep praying for the SMFG family and I will keep praying for yours as we continue this journey of encouragement and edification in the Lord.

Why I Love Being A Mom This Time of Year!

2007-12-21T12:49:00.000-06:00

children love the world graphic from art.com
I absolutely love being a mom this time of year! Even though the enemy tries to make it frustrating and commercial, just being around your children, seeing and embracing their innocence is refreshing. Yesterday my little one was sick and I really missed her so I went to the school to get a quick hug and to check on her. As I stood outside of the door peeping in I could see that she was looking a little puny and still lethargic and being unusually still and quiet but when I knocked on the door and she saw it was me, I got the biggest most excited smile and hug and it was genuine, and pure, and full of love. I then went to the other side of the school to surprise my 3rd grader and she was just as excited, she almost knocked me down jumping into my arms and this in front of her class! With all of the holiday chaos and materialism that surrounds us, the handmade crafts they made for me in art class Iwere the best Christmas presents ever! We also had fun baking gifts for the teachers and trying to find practical gifts of items that I have accumulated through the year from great deals that I save for times like these. It made me feel like a proud momma to be able to teach frugality to my daughters and to see them get excited about it!

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!smfg

Saving our Daughters

2007-12-20T14:00:00.001-06:00

Those who know me know that when I have something to say, then I can't hold it in and my blog will probably be no different. While I am expecting a lot o backlash to today's post I am confident that there are other mothers who understand what I am about to say.

Earlier this month I posted a piece entitled Pop Culture Idolization and Our Daughters and I really had the burden to send a message that we have to be careful what we expose our children to. Imagine my surprise when I read the news and there are articles about a young 16year old actress who is pregnant. Not only that, she is the star of a hit teenage/young children's program on a huge children's network and to add insult to injury her older sister is constantly in the news about her parenting skills or lack thereof! Now I am not taking personal shots at the young actress, my heart goes out for her because she is certainly probably really confused right now, she is in an adult predicament, with adults looking at her to judge, all the while she was given adult responsibility and she is just a child. I can't help but to wonder how a mother could turn her children loose in Hollywood. Not that I am pointing blame, I am not, but we can't always be our children's friend. Especially our daughters. There is a standard that we have to hold them to! Sixteen is not an age that a girl is ready to make responsible decisions about love, life, career and definitely not lifestyle. We have to be responsible for them. The only response the mother could say that she was shocked because her sixteen year old has always been the more responsible child- my response: is that an excuse to stop parenting? My 8 yr old is very responsible for her age, do I now just let her start making her own decisions? ( trust me it won't happen in my house!)

Statistically there are more young women getting pregnant now than ever, and what will happen now when they see this young star being glamorized in the media. We have parents who work full time, single -parent homes, families who really struggle with the family/ work balance so how is it that you have no worries because of the success of your children, no job to go to each day, you have nothing but quality time to spend with your children? I don't understand? It sends a confusing message. Dating is not cute, its not fun, its not a starting ground for womanhood. Our children have more distractions in this age, more pulls from the enemy, more temptation for their young flesh. It burdens me when I see girls as young as 8 starting to experiment with make-up, or 4yr old's with halter tops even the little karaoke sing a long/ video toys in where the children emulate their favorite star. It really, really burdens me when I see young girls thrown into the world of modeling, and acting especially when we have years of proof from other generations of child stars that talk about the wiles of the industry. Its almost as if I were to tell you that if you allow your child to play with my dog it will bite; and you gamble and say its such a pretty dog maybe just maybe it will like my child. Why do mother's feel the need to gamble with their daughters by not holding them to a standard, or at the very least just plain old fashioned values?

I did not mean to sound so politically challenged, it just makes me wonder what is this world coming to when a sixteen year old star gets major media coverage for being pregnant and the network that she works for supports her and parents feed that nonsense to their children. We have to take a stand against the act, not the person, but the very spirit behind the image. We have to be careful what we expose our children to. We have to teach them that all that glitters is not gold- for broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: ( Matt 7:13) just because everyone else is doing it does not mean that it is right! This is a point we must drive home to our daughters- they can not be like the world, or thier friends, your parenting responsiblities will differ because you parent according to the scripture and the leadership of God. I was led astray but you see I knew the road home, I knew the life my mom and dad lived, I knew the leadership and fear of God that was in their life and yes it does make a big difference for your children. When you are not there they will feel your spritiual presence!

Be blessed and stay encouraged! smfg

You Are What You Eat

2007-12-19T13:53:00.000-06:00

Daily Bread- graphic from art.com

Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good. Isaiah 7:15

Lately I have been out and about in the blogosphere and just about every blog I read has some sort of reference to healthy eating, healthy recipes, and healthy alternative lifestyles. The more I read the more the thought came to me, you are what you eat both naturally and spiritually. Just as eating non-healthy foods can rob your body of essential nutrients and drain you of energy so can eating non-healthy spiritual food. Eating food that is not going to produce those godly fruits of the spirit will be non-producing and eventually purged and cast into the fire ( Matt: 7:19) So what are you eating? What fruit is produced from the nutrients flowing through your veins. What are you feeding your soul? How are you fertilizing the fruits of your soul, and most importantly just as seeds from a fruit can produce another tree or plant, what seeds are you planting for your child/ren's fruit! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is more than just a literal saying it is a wake-up call for us all to think about what we are putting into our spiritual and natural bodies.

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!smfg

Toot Your Horn Today Challenge!!

2007-12-18T14:41:00.000-06:00

graphic from art.com

I wanted to take time today and encourage every mother(and father) who reads this blog to reach over and pat yourself on the back! Take a moment and toot your horn ( remember to stay humble! :) for being the wonderful, caring, thoughtful, God loving, God fearing, sacrificing, doctor, judge, nurse, teacher, and any other role you play parent that you are. If you are a single parent you are allowed to give yourself two pats;) !

We as parents don't always take the time out to toot our horns. I mean sure we do when we are reminding our children of what all we do for them, and how grateful they should be for parents like us, but do you actually take the time to give yourself credit for how wonderful you are?

I want to challenge you to take 15 minutes anytime today and just write down your your strengths and accomplishments as a parent and then take another 15 minutes giving God honor and glory for his blessing you with your strengths and accomplishments then make a brief list of parental goals that you would like him to help to accomplish. Lastly and most importantly take another 30 minutes to treat yourself!! Do something for you that is not related to cooking, housekeeping, taking care of the kids, the husbands and or pets or anyone who is not you!!. Do one thing that you have not done in a while, or continue a project that you always put off whatever it may be just do something for yourself!

I will toot my horn and tell you my indulgence later tonight or in tomorrow's post Lord willing, and I would love for you to share yours. Remember the key to raising confident children is to posses confidence yourself, how can you be confident if you don't know what to be confident about. Our heavenly father blesses us to walk and live in his light and as long as we don't exalt ourselves there is nothing wrong with embracing our brightness!

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

If you can't link your blog, then please leave a comment. Let others know how wonderful you are and most importantly spread the word so that others parents can be reminded of thier goodness!

Fathers and Daughters -Filling the Void

2007-12-17T15:47:00.000-06:00

I read another one of my good friend Lylah's wonderful posts on mothering and this one really impressed me. Being I have daughters I find myself drawn more and more to blogs and posts that center around raising positive daughters. Her post entitled How God Built Girls is a beautiful sentiment and reminder of how important the roles that fathers play in their daughters lives. I personally am a daddy's girl! I thank God daily for my dad and for the fact that he allowed me to be raised by a true man of God. My dad has also stepped in and accepted the role of father/pa-pa to my daughters and I am eternally grateful that he treats them as princesses and gives them that much needed fatherly attention. I realize that while I am blessed, there may be other mothers out there who unfortunately have no positive male role models for their daughters. Guess what, you do! I live almost 100 miles from my mom and dad so my daughters are not around them daily anymore, but I make sure to show them Godly men in the bible, and I allow them and encourage them to look to God for provision of all their needs. They are little now(8/6) but God has given me his peace and confidence in that as long as I serve him and raise my children in his fear and obedience he will bless me to raise beautiful, pure, productive, and blessed children. As single parents we must cling to that hope, we can not be moved by the fear of the enemy in the statistics and reports of failed single parent homes. Below is an excerpt from Lylah's post.

How God Built Girls.
Family Systems and Dad's Building Blocks God built girls to be loved, nurtured, doted on, cared for and kissed and cuddled a lot. He built little girls to need hugs and tender mom touches. He built little girls to need to hear words like, “I love you my precious, darling princess and I’m so proud of you.”He built little girls to be held on laps, taken for walks, and hear talks about God and how good He is. He built little girls to be protected and provided for (food, shelter, clothes, education). He built little girls to feel cared for and to be spoken gently too. He built little girls to LOVE being a girl!Good Mothering Good mothering gives little girls a needed foundation to love being a girl. God wants moms to provide the secure, nurturing place for her little daughter so she can grow up and feel secure and know that it’s wonderful being FEMALE. You'll know if it's happened because of the sparkle in the eye. (This is my 3rd granddaughter.)Culture tries to make it not so wonderful—but God says it is. Culture has distorted the beautiful image of being a woman. Fashion magazines, TV and things like that give an “impression” that is damaging.If you have daughters, what impression are you giving them? If you have sons how are you modeling being a Biblical woman? In what ways are you modeling respect?-LylahL, The Lylah Blog

You can read the rest of her post here

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

Dust of His Feet

2007-12-14T12:35:00.001-06:00

Nahum 1:3The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

I just wanted to Thank the Lord for all that he has done for me this week. I thank him for his protection from the fiery darts of the enemy. I thank him for his keeping power. I thank him for being faithful to his word. I thank him for VICTORY! I took this picture( and a ton of other cloud pics) on a flight this summer after being grounded for 12hrs due to a severe thunderstorm. Once we were able to we had to fly through storm . As much as I love to fly this time it was scary and turbulent but once we flew above the storm the view was breath taking. I sat in awe thinking WOW I am flying through the dust of God's feet! He is walking above me! How humbling, how awesome, how spiritually refreshing! As I thought about storms that I went through this week, I thought of this picture, and how just as I was able to fly through storm clouds naturally, he guided me through them spiritually and both times I was able to be experience the awesome power of flying through dust of his feet.
Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! smfg

Frugal Friday- Homemade Placemats and Writing Boards From Your Child's Artwork

2007-12-14T12:35:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my first Frugal Friday Tip!

If you are anything like me, you always are looking for things to with all those drawings that your little ones make for you. I hate to throw them away and I can only keep so many because I have very little space in my modest apartment. Well I found an idea courtesy of my daughters kindergarten teacher. For Christmas we are going to make homemade place mats and writing boards from her art work. Its very cheap. All you do is laminate the drawings! It could be free if you know anyone who may have access to a laminating machine or some places will charge you a few cents per yard. To make the writing board simply let them make games, tic tack toe, hang man, manuscript paper, bible verse/chapter matching, or whatever they like, take a piece of cardboard box, cut it a little bit larger than the paper drawing or game, glue the paper to the cardboard and have it laminated. Buy some erasable markers and your kids can use this in the car, waiting rooms, or take it from room to room or however they choose. Hopefully this will eliminate scraps of paper and paper being scattered from to and fro. I haven't tried it but I am this weekend and I will post pictures of the finished product. This can cost anywhere from free to a couple of dollars depending on if you have dry erase markers and how much you have to pay for laminating. You can also use those extra pictures to make a place mat collage for family members to use everyday or for birthday parties and so forth. If anyone else tries it, please drop in and let me know and show your work :) Be blessed and encouraged on this Frugal Friday.

Re- Post on Materialism and This Season

2007-12-13T17:21:00.000-06:00

I was out today mailing a package to my eBay buyer and the post office was swamped with others who are also busy trying to get things shipped by Christmas. The Holy Spirit brought back this post that I wrote about The Bondage of Materialism to my remembrance as I started to focus on how I have not been Christmas shopping for my girls. I felt led to re post it. I will only insert a piece and you can link and read the rest of the post here or click on the title.

The Bondage of Materialism and The Safety of Our Children

In light of all the recent news about the massive toy recalls and the dangerous chemicals and unsafe products being used to make them I had to ponder on the thought of are we as parents helping enable our children to a spirit of materialism? Are we as mothers, who have an animalistic instinct to protect our children, letting our guard of protection down by spoiling them with toys and "things" that are harming them not only physically, but mentally and most important spiritually??As I sit and shudder of the thought of what type of bondage this time of year brings upon parents, and any other adult seeking to soothe the materialistic desire of a child by going into debt, not showing Christian stewardship to the less fortunate, greed, envy, covetousness and many other ungodly abominations, I wonder if God allows things like this to happen to shake our attention back to the reason for this season? Is he trying to let this country, (which was founded on spiritual principals and a need to worship God without reprove) know that he is not at all pleased with how we are creating generation after generation of materialistic children who covet everything they see?

Let us remember to shop in love, peace, and frugality for we will be judged on how we are stewards of our blessings!!! SMFG

The Sacrifice of Having It All

2007-12-12T15:35:00.000-06:00

AnnaS over at Domestic Felicity wrote a post about the importance of Quality Time and it's slow demise within our modern culture. I agree. I posted an excerpt and I will comment after it. You can read more of her post here.

"Quality time" is something we hear so often; it seems as though we're under the illusion that it doesn't really matter how much time we spend together, as long as it's "quality time". And more specifically – it doesn't matter how much time we spend at home, as long as "our heart is at home". How little time is enough, then? If we come late in the evening to a home that has been empty all day long, can we say, "Now we can relax and spend time together?" Not really. Not unless you have a maid and a cook, anyway. If dishes pile up in the sink, the mountain of dirty laundry is overshadowing the poor washing machine, the refrigerator is empty and the floors are dirty, this hardly provides a healthy, nourishing, relaxing atmosphere. It's almost impossible to properly rest and relax until basic things are taken care of. " AnnaS-Domestic Felicity

There has been much controversy over whether or not women can have it all, the career, a nice happy home, and the apple cheek family. My answer to that question is yes, you can have it all, but you will pay a significant price for it. You see my question lies in what is considered " all". I can have a bushel of apples, and have them all, but they can all be rotten, or overripe, or full of worms. Therefore in my eyes "all" is not a significant measure. You must give up something in order to have all. What will you give up? It could be your peace of mind, your quality time with your family, your integrity and yes you can give this up very easily sometimes unintentionally, your spiritual safety as you will have more fiery darts coming your way from the working world, and there will be times that some have to make a choice between their family and their job.

I will give you a prime example, yesterday at work I was cursed by another manager. I work in a highly professional field of work, and because I am saved I maintained a Godly demeanor and handled it as a woman of God first, and secondly because I am professional and have high work ethics I handled it professionally. But you know what, it still did not take away the fact that it upset me and that I had to cast down ungodly thoughts, and evil imaginations. Basically it was a battle and while I thank God I can claim victory, it was sitll a battle nonetheless that I probably would not have had to fight, if I were at home focusing on my family's day. I was even still upset about the events surrounding it when I got home. I had to call on God and make myself stop thinking about it and focus on my family. This is what you give up when you work. You have unnecessary battles and issues that you say you will leave at work, but you have to fight to do so and this will subtly rob you of the positive energy you need for your family. I applaud the keepers of the home, I applaud all those women out there who made a decision to focus on the quality of the home life versus the quality and quantity of having it all. "All" comes with a price. I do feel that I could be a better mother to my children if all my focus could be only on my family and their quality of life but in the meantime I will have to focus on my task at hand which is remaining in God's will and providing for my family. Leaning on him to give the measure of grace I need to make it victoriously in this chapter of my life. I write this post urging those of us who work not to be so quick to judge those women who have taken a God given stand to stay at home and take care of their family and for those who stay at home to not be so judgmental of those who do work because we battle with the sacrifice that we make by doing so.

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!!

Remember Your Child's First Steps??

2007-12-12T14:28:00.000-06:00

Do you remember when your baby/ies, started walking and how you were their biggest cheerleader? I was reading this book - The Encouraging Parent and I got to this sub chapter entitled "Remember Your Child's First Step", as I read it I started laughing out loud because of the analogy the author used to point out how encouraging we were during this time. I am going to include it and then make a comment.

" Close your eyes and remember the first time you got on your knees and extended
your arms and encouraged your child to walk, You talked baby talk and made all kinds of strange but heart warming sounds, when your child took two little steps
and fell what did you do? Did you lecture her? Get up off the floor! How
many times to I have to tell you we don't walk like that in this family!, You
make me sick! You can't walk anyway! Crawl off to your room and get out of my
face! Of course not. What you did was pick up your baby and hug her, and kiss
her and tell her its going to be okay, you'll do better next time" - The Encouraging Parent Rod Wallace Kennedy, PhD

The author was so right in his assessment of how quickly we as parents can change our encouragement as our children grow older if we are not careful and as single parents we more vulnerable to this type of behavior just because our lives can seem and be so overwhelming. I felt very convicted after reading this. I am not as bad as his example but I can do so much better. As single parents we have to make an effort to work harder to encourage our children, just as we did when we were teaching them to walk, and to say Ma-Ma. Its easy to forget those days, especially when we see how quickly they learn and pick up on things that drive us crazy and borderline off the wall, we still have to remember they don't always pick other things up as easily as we would like, especially if we think it's something they should know, or if at that moment our minds can't possibly empathize with the level of importance that it is to them. When they don't know, we have to encourage. When they make us want to pull our hair out, and then turn around and write their numbers or letters backwards, or mess up on what we think is simple multiplication tables, or draw the most confusing picture -we still have to encourage them. We have to encourage them when the comforter on the bed is upside down and hanging to one side more than the other, and when their idea of clean is no where near ours or when they think they have done a big kid thing and its all wrong and backwards- We still have to encourage. The more I think about it, how would I feel if I called my mom and she said, I raised you, you should know that, now get off the phone, I would probably think that she didn't empathize with my situation, or was lacking compassion and my poor feelings would be hurt and I am 32 not 6 or 8! I will admit, I am not perfected in this area, but as I read I thought, what if God stopped encouraging me. What if he simply said, you know what the bible says, you know what you heard in church, now go away and stop asking me for help! I personally would be lost. So just as he encourages us with things I am pretty sure he knows we should know, we have to do the same for our children!

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged while Encouraging!!!

What's A Girl To Do? Just Wait Here?

2007-12-11T16:35:00.000-06:00

A reader of mine Lylah sent me the link to an article that she wrote on her blog entitled: My thoughts on the Bride who is waiting that she thought I would enjoy and boy did I ever!!! Actually I couldn't link the post that she sent because it was part II of a series and I wanted to read that first , so I went to the original post of her series entitled Trusting God with Your Life to Be a Wife and I loved it even more!
The scary part about all of this is that on my blog I have never posted on my thoughts or feelings concerning if I have a desire to be married, she just sent it to me out of the blue! Well being that I have never been married I would be lying if I said that I don't have a desire, but my desire to become the woman that God created for whomever he has in store for me is my motivation. See, I know that he didn't intend for me to be single forever, and that he has someone for me, but that someone that he has for me has asked him for specific traits and desires so I am just allowing God to mold me into who he needs me to be specifically. The one thing I have learned in my life experience is that I don't want to repeat the messes I made, so I have no problem waiting for the perfection of God.

The fact of the matter is that just because we are single mothers doesn't remove the desire for a complete family. Some of us have just accepted the place that we are in our lives and are comfortable waiting on God, but there are some of us out there who may not know where to begin. Who may not understand that God requires a different way of doing things than the world. I believe that this article is a wonderful beginning point for many who may have questions. I posted and excerpt, please read both articles by clicking on the links- I promise you will leave fulfilled. Thanks Lylah for reminding women what our duties are as we wait on God.

(from Trusting God With Your Life To Be A Wife)
What's a Girl to Do? Just Wait Here?
"So, what does a single woman do? How does she live in a state of contentment until God opens the eyes of the man that He has for her? How does she wait in peace and trust until HE sees her and pursues her? How does she not initiate, but wait?
Perhaps you’ve been a wife, but through life’s fallen-ness, your marriage failed. And, now there’s this unmet longing, again…to come alongside a man and be his love.
My encouragement to the woman in a season of singleness is to settle down into the Woman’s Place and stop trying to find your husband, because if you find him and pursue him, he’ll probably be a weak leader.
The Woman's Place
Finding and staying in The Woman’s Place is key to waiting in peace. The Woman's Place is a place of getting to really know God and really know yourself in light of who He is. The Woman’s Place is also that place of waiting, trusting, praying and allowing God to prepare you as a Bride – just like He did Esther.
If you’re not in this Woman’s Place, then I’m assuming your level of peace and contentment is just about nil. And, to be honest, what man is drawn to a discontented, anxious woman anyway? I'll tell you what kind. . . the kind that is looking for easy prey who will sell themselves short for a quick night of sex."
Read the rest of the article here and the second post here! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged, Stay Prayerful, and Stay in The Woman's Place!!!

Making Your Home a Haven Day 6- Update

2007-12-10T21:48:00.000-06:00

Crystal at Biblicalwomanhood has really inspired me to continue to challenge myself to not only create a haven of refuge in my home for my family but to endeavor to keep it that way with her Making Your Home a Haven Challenge. Its Day 6 of the challenge and I am trying to catch up. I did not really take before pictures because I would be too embarrassed to put those out there but I did take pictures of the after. Since I work, it is harder for me to come home and do full fledged housekeeping along with trying to spend time with the girls. I have to do spot work continually because I live in an apartment and clutter can build fast and look worse than it actually is.
My To Do List For Day 6-
Spent 30 minutes ( via timer) picking up and spot cleaning from the weekend to make sure that the rooms stay the way they are and add finishing touches to what we did not finish on Sat.
Cooked Dinner-Devotion
Family Time
Private Mediation/ Bed by 9:45

So here are my proud pictures of my Haven of Refuge and boy nothing beats the feeling of coming home after a hard day's work to a clean home, and it feels even better waking up to one!

Living Room Before- Shameful!!

Living Rm After

Dining Rm/Laundry/Kit After

Bar/Office- After

Dinner Before

Dinner After

Homemade chicken poppers, tropical fruit salad,
mexi-corn, and cheesy garlic bread w/marinara sauce- yummy!

Musical Victory

2007-12-10T15:16:00.000-06:00

I really just wanted to share this 53 second clip of my six year old at her piano recital. At first I was hesitant to even add pictures or share any thing other than thoughts about my children since this is cyber world, but I have to put my faith in God and trust my gut on this one. This was such an enormous victory for her ( and for momma!) expecially with bosting her self confidence and her fear of performing in front of others.... She is very proud of herself and wanted me to share with the world!! This was the sweetest 53 seconds I have had in a long, long time!!! Enjoy!!!

Making Your Home a Haven Day 6

2007-12-10T09:48:00.001-06:00

Crystal at Biblicalwomanhood ran a post last week entitled Making our Homes a Haven: The Challenge . (You can read about it and follow the updates here). Basically for the past 6 days she has been encouraging us to do little things to make our home a haven of refuge for our families. This coupled with a very encouraging "Young Mother's " meeting at my church hosted by my Pastor's wife for the young mothers in my congregation motivated me to take a more earnest approach and effort to promote a environment of refuge for my family. So I will do this in a two part post. In my first post I will update my position in the Making Our Homes a Haven Challenge. Since I am a working momma, I had to condense my challenge to one day- which for me was Saturday! In case you don't have time to link back to Crystal's Blog I will list the daily challenges we are supposed to do in order: 1. Refresh My Spirit, 2. Do your morning routine, 3. Take time to plan, and 4. Do Something!

1. Refresh My Spirit- I woke up this Saturday morning and brewed myself a cup of honey/lemon/peppermint tea and devoted close to two hours of uninterrupted devotion and meditation time. My encouragement came from reading Ecclesiastes Chapters 3-5. I also read some in Psalms, Proverbs, and Isaiah. I skipped around to the last couple of chapters of St. John into the first couple of Chapters of Acts.. I especially wanted to study Paul's spiritual growth during this time.

2. My Morning Routine: I woke the girls up, had our daily thanksgiving, and went over my plans for the day. I gave them detail things to do and explained to them how important it was for them to finish their portion so that we could all take advantage of our free time with activities I planned for them after their recital that afternoon. Made breakfast.

3. Take Time To Plan: I kinda did this one in between the first two. I knew the girls had a piano recital at 1:30 and I wanted to leave the house and be at there by 12:30 no later than 12:45. I knew I had 3.5 hours to do everything that I wanted to do after my devotion, so I pulled out the timers, and gave each room 30 minutes. I gave the laundry 45 minutes and vacuuming 15 minutes. This was excluding the bedrooms but we did finish it all, and we successfully achieved our goal!
4. Do something- Well I put on my favorite uplifting gospel CD and went to work! I finished my laundry, living room, kitchen, dusting, refrigerator, and vacuumed. The girls got a little sidetracked but when the timers stopped so did we. By doing so we were able to accomplish our goal of leaving the house on time and getting to the recital relaxed and I got a great seat!

My challenge for Today
I read Deuteronomy 5:28-33, Prov 1: 1-9, Prov 2: 1-9 about the importance of instilling the fear of God and being obedient to his commandments. I read this to my children this morning. I also prayed over them before they woke up so that they would wake up happy and thankful. ( it worked!)

Whats for Dinner- homemade chicken poppers, salad, mexi-corn, and garlic cheese sticks w/marinara sauce!

Evening Routine- Homework and Devotion maybe some baking if time permits !

Reflections on This Week- What He Did For Me!

2007-12-07T13:54:00.000-06:00

I wanted to end my week and begin my weekend by posting the daily miracles and blessings I thanked God for each day this week. The thought came to me yesterday as the weirdest most frustrating thing happened. Thur morning, I was all excited because I got up early and washed a couple loads , started my dinner for the day, and started cooking breakfast for the girls. My girls were having a showdown over bathroom time so I sent my oldest to my bathroom....

A few moments later it was "mommy, the toilet is flooding" By this time it was 7 am and we have to be out of the house before 7:30, long story short I walk in to my bedroom only to hear the sound of flowing water, that's right, my bathroom floor was completely flooded( thank God it was clean toilet water!!!) I guess something got stuck or backed up when the water was refilling in the bowl, so anyway I grab this really expensive plunger that is supposed to be real heavy duty ( great for a single woman was what the sales guy told me) and it wasn't working. Finally I just prayed, God you know I have to go to work, the kids can't be late for school, my house is not clean enough for me to call maintenance ( yes I am very ticky about this!) and I just need you to work. Like clock work the next time I tried the plunger I heard that famous gurgling sound of water swirling down the drain. I immediately started to praise God! Now what's funny is this is the second time in a year I have had to do this- pray for God to fix my toilet, but those are the little things I need my girls to see. I need them to see me calling on my Almighty Fixer- Upper, my husband. They need to see that God can fix any and everything, no matter how silly, or innate it may sound. So with further ado I will list the other things that my Heavenly Husband did for me this week.

Monday-He laid it on my friends/ church member's heart to call and offer to pick my children up from daycare, and he blessed me with left overs from my jobs luncheon so that I could offer dinner as a way of saying thanks!

Tuesday- He gave my 6year old the confidence she needed to go on stage and practice for her piano recital and be excited about it!, He also provided a financial blessing unexpectedly right on time, the correct amount to the dollar! That night my check engine light came on in my car!

Wednesday- He woke me up automatically as I forgot to set my alarm clock and he provided me food for my soul as we had a guest minister from a out of state congregation to give the word at bible study- That night my check engine light went off mysteriously and hasn't been back on since!

Thursday- Well you read the whole story! Did I mention that no one was late that day!!! Ha Ha, take that devil!!!

Friday- I went to bed with a mind battle, and he woke me up at 3 am with scripture that comforted my soul, I went back to sleep and slept like a baby until 6:30 and still left in plenty of time!

All week- Traffic was not heavy and ran very smoothly!
I challenge you to sit down and write down a miracle or blessing God provided each day this week, I promise you you will have a page full. Just know that when you do this, your adversary the devil as a roaring lion will be seeking you out to destroy you! So stay prayed up, Be blessed and Stay encouraged!

Article- Girl, 7, shot 6 times saving mom

2007-12-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

I read this really sad article today about a 7 year old little girl from Detroit who was shot 6 times by her mothers estranged boyfriend as she jumped in front of her mom to shield her from the bullets. What a courageous act of unconditional love! Thank God the child survived and is still fighting for her life( you can read more about it here). It is said that a mother's love is always unconditional, but so is a child's as is evident by this little girl's concern for her mother's life and lack of concern or fear for her's. Again, no wonder Christ tells us to be as little children...

After wanting to cry like a baby for this child, I thank the Lord for his blessings of safety on me and my family, I thank him for my salvation and my desire to live for him and let him be the head of my life, and I thank him for deliverance. I have also been in a situation like this and was blessed not to experience the worst case scenario. There are some people who will never understand the bondage of unhealthy relationships. They will never understand how Satan can bring you to the point that you don't see what isn't good for you and your babies. We need to pray for this momma. I can imagine that she is feeling a lot of guilt and hurt and her self worth may be at it's lowest.

We also need to remind ourselves why we are confident in living single for God. When the enemy tries to make us feel bad for our situation, let this be a reminder of why we are waiting on God. Why we dedicate our lives to him and why we allow him to be our husbands. I could never see myself dating again in this world. Every time the enemy tries to discourage me with loneliness, I will think of the safety that rests with being married to the Lord.

Correction on Practically Free Stuff from Buy.com

2007-12-05T13:32:00.000-06:00

Okay, I have always heard the term if it seems too good to be true it probably is, well my post yesterday is almost too good to be true. I did receive a good deal on my item purchased. Noticed I said item because yesterday afternoon when i checked my email I had a nice little message that Google.com cancelled my order. The only reason I can think of is because later in their checks and balances they must have seen my name twice as a new user. So my apologies for saying that Google.com tracks only by email not by name. I feel slightly responsible only because my order went through and I received a receipt and all... But I still came out on top with a very nice deal, so no complaints here!!!

Pop Culture Idolization and our Daughters/Children

2007-12-04T13:04:00.004-06:00

This weekend I was able to spend some much needed girl time with my daughters! We had a fun day Saturday just piddling around going from store to store and just people watching. The only downside was they were able to see the chaos and hysteria of the Christmas shopping experience up close and very personal. "Why are people so rude? Its Christmas mommy, they should be happy!" My six year old pointed out... Out of the minds and mouths of babes!

It was also an experience for me too as Saturday was the Hannah Montana concert here and there many mother/daughter combos out in mass. I was extremely disappointed in the state of immodesty, worldliness and idolization with these young girls and the promotion of it from the mothers. I mean it was if miniature Hannah Montana's had invaded the city. Now I am not all personally attacking the artist, I have seen her show and cannot say anything negative about it. However, the commercialization of her art outside of her television show/album and the extremes I saw it displayed was heartbreaking. It seems that whoever the hottest little teenie-bopper group is at the time, the young girls emulate at levels that are sometimes beyond innocent and borderline adult with help from their mom's. It is the nature of a child to want to be like their favorite idol, but what happens when parents contribute even to the seemingly innocent idolization goes awry... It's not cute, its not innocent, its a potentially devastating thing. Look at all the little girls who equate their self worth, through the eyes of some star they idolize and when they don't feel like the person they want to be, they can sometimes go to extreme measures to achieve what will and can never be perfection. It is a principal that can start out seemingly innocent and over time become a full-fledged battle.

It breaks my heart to see this because I wonder how many of them put forth the same effort to promote the worshiping of God that they do to the worshipping of pop culture idols. When we teach our children the commandments, we need to really break the surface on idolization and how it is not only praying to graven images but worshipping anything other than God. When they start to become attached to a favorite character or group would be the best time to show them that its okay to like something a lot, and for it to be your favorite, but they can not like that thing more than God. It may sound silly, but I wish I had done it earlier than I did.
So will always continue to show my daughters more biblical and Christian role-models. I mean I would rather my children want to be more like a woman of the bible, or a strong upstanding Christian role model than what they have to choose from with today's pop culture and entertainment's faux- glamorized idols. To put it even more personal, I would rather my daughters want to be like me as I follow Christ than someone else's mother, daughter, or sister. It may seem selfish, but I believe in my heart that is why the Lord blesses us to be mothers. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

Interesting Article on The Perception of Women and Managment

2007-12-04T13:04:00.003-06:00

I saw this piece on GMA ( Good Morning America) this morning, and thought it was quite interesting. It is a study that was done on the perception of women in executive level management. I found it startling but true. I used to want to be the women executive, but over the past few months God has really been dealing with me on the feminist movement. I am starting to see that the balance of power that comes with breaking the glass ceiling and being a TRUE Godly woman, wife, and or mother can never be equal. I know the challenges that I have with balancing my career and my family life and I am seeing that my desire to climb the career ladder is dwindling... I think of the Virtuous Woman and how the time she spent taking care of her family and being the woman God called her to be could never fit with the demands of Corporate America. I used to be one of those women who looked down on other women who made the decision to be stay at home mothers and keepers of the home, but the more I work and have to put my job before my family the more I desire a safe retreat from the wiles of the working world. Just my thoughts! You can read the article and watch the segment here.

Practically Free Stuff from Buy.com/Google Check-Out!!!

2007-12-04T13:04:00.002-06:00

I found this really cool deal over at MoneySavingMom last week. I now actually wish that I had taken the time out last week to take advantage of the free shipping at Buy.com but the deals I got today were a tremendous blessing to my very frugal budget. I was able to purchase a gift for both of my daughters for about $15 total!!

So here is how this works. Click on this link here to Buy.com $10 retail bin, choose a item and put it in your cart. When you are ready to proceed to check out, click on the Google check out icon and register as a new user. By doing this, you are then eligible for the 10$ off your order promotion for new users. So in essence you will only be paying for shipping and handling. Note that last week the shipping was free for all so that is why the link may say free shipping, but to buy a gift that is already marked down to 10$ and then only pay a minimal amount for shipping is worth it to a bargain hound like myself. Plus it keeps me from having to wrestle with the shopping chaos that occurs during this time a year.

This is what I purchased for my oldest daughter and you see what I paid for it, and this is what I paid for my youngest daughter, her gift was a little more pricey because it wasn't 10$, but combined with the 10$ off I received, it still wasn't a bad price. You can still go straight to Buy.com and purchase other items that are over 10$, they have a sidebar with items sorted by price range, so still you can receive a really great deal on a purchase with the $10 off your order promotion listed above.

There is a trick to Google check out. You can only receive the promotion once as a new user, but you can register more than once if you have multiple email addresses. Yep that's right! Google check out only keeps track of the email addresses associated with the account and not the account holders name. If you have more than one email address it can't hurt to try. It may sound tedious, but as a frugal momma with an even more frugal budget I don't mind working for a deal. Just click on the hyperlinks throughout this post and you should be fine. If not then just email me, and I will help walk you through. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged

The Father of Lies & Master of Illusion

2007-11-30T13:16:00.000-06:00

The devil is a lie and the father of ALL lies. We know this, we have read this, and again we know this. He is also the master of illusion which too is a lie, a trickery of the mind and eyes. He will have us believing something is when it isn't and, that something isn't when it really is.

Yesterday I posted about a thicker skin and thorns and today I wanted to follow up by adding that sometimes the devil will make us think we have a thorn when really and truly its not anything or it is of little significance. He will place thoughts in our minds to take our focus off of God and sometimes what we think is a fiery test is really and truly a figment of an illusion that we have allowed the devil to present to us. This is why we have to press to cast down every imagination, every thought, every thing that is not of God.

It is a MUST that we stay before God, seeking his wisdom and hearing his voice on everything that we are faced with. Just as Paul besought the Lord thrice, God was faithful to answer him and let him know that he was in a test, and that he would give him the grace to go through it he is faithful to do the same for us.

But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you.Jeremiah 7:23