Judged By Every Idle Word- Advice & All

Today will more than likely be one of my longer posts. In part because it will be two-fold. One, I was reading a post by Anna S in which she shared a touching and sad email from a reader seeking advice about how to handle a very sensitive subject, namely her unhappy marriage. I couldn't help but to share my points of view on some of the comments that were left for the author of the e-mail. Two I wanted to elaborate on a piece of advice the reader left in her email to single women who are seeking marriage and how not to follow in her footsteps.

Please, please visit Anna's post in its entirety here. Also with her permission I included a little excerpt from her post which is a part of the email sent to her. Thanks Anna for such a wonderful post and allowing me to share my point of view.

My marriage has been a disaster. It has been emotionally taxing for me. He is not really a Christian. He smokes, decided he wanted to become a "rapper" and spends every weekend in the club promoting his music. I have seen emails where he flirts with other females and encourages them to call him. He does not want me to be a stay at home mother to our child, preferring instead for him to go to daycare. A woman sent me an email telling me that they have been having an affair for almost a year. But, he vehemently denies it.I want to get a divorce soooooo bad!!! I wish I had been wiser. I should have married a man who was a strong Christian, with longer evidence of living the Christian life. I had been wise in my relationships up until him. Me being a "silly" woman in the end and marrying this man has made my lifemiserable, and my parents stressed with worry, because they know that I deserve better, and think that I should leave him.

Okay now for my little random two cents. I feel for this lady, I feel for her so bad because I can understand how she feels. However, as I stated when I left my comment on her post, all I feel that I can do is pray that God shows her unmistakably what HE wants for her to do concerning this situation that HE has allowed in her life for reasons un-comprehendible to us who may read about it.

On my blog I try real hard not to make it practice to solicit or give out advice concerning deep personal matters on marriage, sex, childrearing and other such topics. I do share my beliefs on certian topics on according to what God shows me, but I do wonder how God feels if or when we tell another person something that may not be in His will.

Not to say that I am bashing anyone who does, but I don't feel comfortable. Some of the comments ranged from leave him, to pray for him, to you can leave him but never remarry and while they all may sound correct, how do we as mere servants have the right to advise someone on things that will have to be given an account for at the day of judgment? Scripture clearly states that we will be judged for EVERY idle word! Every comment, every piece of advice, every thought that never even made it out of our mouth.

I do believe wholeheartedly in teaching, encouraging and training and giving sound scriptural and natural advice to each other as women as well as learning from one another on biblical principles. I just don't feel comfortable with advising someone on certain topics that may cross certain spiritual boundaries or that are very personal in nature (even if I have been through the same ordeal). What worked for me in a situation may not be in God's plan for another. I fear standing before God and him saying "you shouldn't have told such and such that, she listened to you and that is not what I had in my will for her to do!" I just think that we as sisters need to make sure that when we comment on someone's personal situations we are truly led by God before we give out advise. Or better yet just pray with and/or for the person that they will be able to see and hear God's voice and understanding for thier situation. I could very well be wrong.

Okay, that's enough on that soap box. My second point was in relation to what the reader advised single women to do when waiting for a mate. This is what she said and I agree wholeheartedly.

"So, I encourage all unmarried ladies to really pray and seek God before deciding to marry someone, talk to your parents, and really know that this man leads a life of integrity. It will save you much heartache later on"

This was the most powerful part of the whole e-mail in my eyes. As a single woman who desires marriage, I don't want this to happen to me. I lived relationships enough like this before I allowed God in my life and if I could do one thing, it would be to encourage other single women to wait on God. It is so worth it! No amount of lonliness now is worth a lifetime vow of miserableness in the future. There is so much more I could say and share but I will save it for later. Thanks for reading. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged! -smfg

Young Gifted and Trapped Part I

I wrote an essay a few months ago that I wanted to share on my blog in parts. Its entitled Young, Gifted and Trapped. I wrote this under a strong burden for those who are trapped or heading towards a trap that is blinding by denial. I will post in parts because as mentioned it was an essay and is pretty lengthy. Thanks so much for your reading and support.

1 Corinthians 4:14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.

note: My articles may be shared in part or in its entirety with permission from the writer and so long as the article is linked on your blog or referenced to the author.

Young, Gifted and Trapped

I was sitting here reading the news and blog’s about the recent decision for singer Brittney Spears to turn over her children to her ex husband and I could not help but to weep for her. I praise God everyday for being a saved mother; however this was not always the case in my life. When you are in the bondage of sin you become so blinded to the damage of your life style, that not even the threat of loosing your precious babies will snap you back to reality. Only God and true salvation can open your eyes to destructive lifestyle that you are living and how it is affecting your children.

I can specifically remember when I was not saved and my children were young being bound in sin and making decisions that at the time I could not see was having a detrimental impact on my young daughters. I praise God for the mercy that he showed me and the love and support from my parents urging me seek salvation and I thank the Lord for my simple life; I could not imagine the pain of my bondage on the front page of every newspaper and all over the airwaves. The sad thing is that there are thousands of young girls who look up to superstars and their seemingly fabulous lifestyle. Young people please do not covet their lives!! There are skeletons in every closet and so many of them are so unhappy and the devil is continuously whispering ideas of suicide in their ears.

If you have saved parents thank the Lord everyday that you have been sheltered from such a cold callous world. I was sharing with a saint recently that there have been so many miracles and testimonies in our lives that our young people should not want to run into the land that we have been delivered from, but yet they do and this is nothing but a spirit of covetousness, wanting what the world has, looking at the world through the dark tinted glass that surrounds it, but once you step inside those doors you become engulfed by the darkness. You walk around in a constant state of denial. You clearly know that a decision is wrong but yet you cling to the hope that Satan gives you that things will turn out differently for you. You have no clue how to maneuver around the territory of the world and all you have is the trust you put in someone that the devil sends your way to guide you through the territory that he has crafted for your demise. Eventually you become one of the statistics of what I call the “Young, Gifted, and Trapped.”

The Bondage of Materialism and The Safety of Our Children!

Forgive me in advance if I seem a little politically radical today. I didn't post yesterday because I was researching a topic that I have been burdened about the past 48 hours.

In light of all the recent news about the massive toy recalls and the dangerous chemicals and unsafe products being used to make them I had to ponder on the thought of are we as parents helping enable our children to a spirit of materialism? Are we as mothers, who have an animalistic instinct to protect our children, letting our guard of protection down by spoiling them with toys and "things" that are harming them not only physically, but mentally and most important spiritually??

As I sit and shudder of the thought of what type of bondage this time of year brings upon parents, and any other adult seeking to soothe the materialistic desire of a child by going into debt, not showing Christian stewardship to the less fortunate, greed, envy, covetousness and many other ungodly abominations, I wonder if God allows things like this to happen to shake our attention back to the reason for this season? Is he trying to let this country, (which was founded on spiritual principals and a need to worship God without reprove) know that he is not at all pleased with how we are creating generation after generation of materialistic children who covet everything they see?

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not buy our children toys and presents and shower them with love, I am simply saying that everything that we do for our children should empower them spiritually, educationally and naturally and not the instant gratification of playing with the next hot thing or to be bound by what I call the "Gotta Have, or Must Have spirit. " We have a God given responsibility to evoke and teach our children a sense of appreciation for gifts, a gratefulness of receiving something new, we should teach them to be good stewards of the blessings they receive and most importantly that any gift they receive is a blessing from God not an expectation!

I think it is so sad when I see children put a guilt trip on their parents for not having the newest toy. It hurts me to see the young and innocent equate love with gifts before they are even old enough to hold a conversation. It saddens me even more when parents are bound by their children's covetousness , greed and desire for materialism... If I am burdened about it, how is God feeling about it?? He must be so sad, so frustrated, so furious.....

I have to cry out to God in this area too.... Only recently did I have to sit down and accept the brutally honest truth that I have allowed my children to become entangled in the expectation of materialism, and I have allowed a seed of ungratefulness and greed to be planted in their hearts because they covet every new toy that is introduced. At one while every conversation would include "Mommy I want, or Mommy can you buy me?" One of my children even knew my paydays and would say when you get paid on this day can we go to the store? I knew then that my weakness as a single mother was trying to make up for the absence of the father figure by buying gifts and always buying things they wanted. I had to ask God and my children for forgiveness because this is not what mothering is all about, and was very unpleasing to God.

I (we) have a responsibility to dig out this seed before its roots anchor and plant seeds of gratefulness, and appreciation, and self worth even when you don't have what everyone else has. I have to teach my girls that not all toys are good for you, and I am glad that I have allowed them to follow the news with me about the recent toy recalls. It makes them grateful that mommy didn't buy that toy, and that we don't need it because it is not safe.

If you are guilty of this, don't let the devil beat you over the head with condemnation, simply ask God to forgive you for this, and to give you wisdom on how to buy those things that are desired by your children. Make sure that every toy or game you buy can be nurturing, and serve as practical applications and learning. For instance, one of my daughters wants her very own set of pots and pans, and a couple of new video games. I love the idea of the pots and pans, because it can be used as a practical and biblical application to her daily life for a lifetime. I may replace the video game with an online scripture or biblical game that she can play that will benefit her educationally and spiritually.

With God's help, we can do this. We don't have to raise a generation of children who's favorite words are I want or can I have? We can raise children who are selfless, who want to be good stewards and who realizes that every thing given to us above that which we need is an extra blessing from God. We can watch the news about dangerous toys and feel good in our soul that we don't have to fear for our children in this area. I encourage you to sit down with your children and inform them of what is going on around. Show them the signs of men pleasers, and of men being lovers of themselves and how this is not pleasing to God. Tell them to write a list of 5 items they can think of that will help them learn, and that are safe. Getting our children involved in this early will help them see the bondage and sin of being materialistic.

Let us all continue to pray earnestly about this and for the children who have been affected by these dangerous toys. Let us pray that God ( our Husband remember???) will choose the gifts he wants our children to have and that we will seek his guidance about the spirits behind and associated with the toys and games that are on the market. Ask him to help us protect our children from and not enable them to this bondage of materialism.

God Bless and Be encouraged!