The Bondage of Beauty- And How It Affects Us Part I

Sorry friends for posting so late today. I was pondering today about what to write about, I have so many thoughts and writings that I have started but I want my posts to be by God for God so after praying about what to write for his glory, he laid today's topic on my heart.

I have been following the news about the rapper Kayne West's mother who died from complications of her cosmetic surgery. My prayers are with him and his family. While I do not listen to his music, I am aware of who he is and the contributions that his mother made during her life here on this earth. She was a very highly esteemed, respected, successful and well educated single mom. I thought of her as a role model for how she never let her single mother status stop her from achieving her goals.

I hope that my thoughts surrounding this situation do not come across as uncaring, or disrespectful as I am not commenting on his mother but of what I feel is the trap behind cosmetic surgery and the need for women to feel pretty. With so many un-reported complications behind cosmetic surgery, eating disorders, depression, and other ugly things associated with the need for our girls to fit in a mold that is not always as pretty or beautiful as they think. What about the images that our boys are given. What they are taught to accept and embrace as beauty? This has been such a heavy weight on my heart and mind this week.

For instance, today I felt I was having a very un-pretty day. Translation, I just didn't feel that I looked my best. Something has created a break-out on my face, right around my eyes and so I felt as though I look horrid, as young as I am I seem to sprout grey hair by the hour, I feel as if I look so old. I can tell that I am gaining weight in the wrong place, but just don't have the time to committ to the strenuous excersise that is needed to manage it before it gets out of hand. All of my flaws and insercurites seem to be right in my face larger than life.

Well as soon as I accepted these thoughts, the enemy being the person that he is decided to try and get in a few punches- "Vanity, saved women aren't supposed to struggle with feeling pretty. It's vanity and pride." Well I cast that imagination down and decided to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. Why? Well first the way we think of ourselves is how we project ourselves, I believe and secondly and more imortantly I have two beautiful daughters, and they both have days when they tell me they just don't feel pretty.... I want and NEED to learn how do I deal with this? How do I teach them self acceptanace and how to embrace thier inner beauty, and most importantly how to accept how God sees them!

Is there Scripture supporting how we view ourselves? YES-And last but not least, how do I teach them that naturalness and modesty is beautiful ? Truly I know that the world is against the very thing that I stand for in regards to modesty, and I don't want this to be a battle for my daughters.

I also find it sad that the generation of women who taught us as young women to embrace our beauty, that it comes from the inside and not the outside are now turning to the knife to make them mainstream beautiful. What has happend when our grandmothers are now falling under the pressure of the sterotypes that the world had given us about beauty and self acceptance??

A few Scriptures came to mind as I meditated and prayed about this , the first being Psalm 149:4For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. I love this Scripture!! I remember the days when I wouldn't go to the corner store without a face full of make up! How sad was I to be bound in selfcentered vanity!!! I want my daughters to grow up knowing strongly that a meek and humble spirit given through salvation is the most beautiful gift ever recieved! I want my nephews to grow up knowing that true beauty comes from within, it is not what man teaches us, it is not what we see on the magazines, and televisions but it radiates from within. Beauty is a way of life, not a mask that can be brushed on and washed off, trimmed, or lengthend, or artificial in any way.

We must teach our little girls and boys from babies to adults how to love themselves, and to accept the person that God has made them. If there is anything that they don't like about themselves, we have to teach them to pray and ask God to help them love themselves as he created them, and to give them the measure of meekness that is needed to be beautiful and of great price in his eyes. 1 Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying that we shouldn't want to look nice, or pretty, I am saying that we have to be careful and see the bond of vanity that can easily creep in and take away our appreciation for how God created us. If we or (our children) find ourselves comparing ourselves to what the world thinks is beautiful, we need to stop and pray for God to refocus us and shift our thoughts to the things that are beautiful in his eyesight. I have so many thoughts on this that I believe this could constitute a Part II!

Letting Our Husband Drive

As I wrote in my post on Saturday, I planned to spent the weekend relaxing with my children. We had a mini-vacation in Louisiana visiting my brother and soon to be sister-in-law. We were having such a good time that we left later than we anticipated and I had to drive in the dark. Now I don't know if you know anything about two lane Arkansas roads at night during deer season, but driving them can be pretty scary. This coupled with seeing at least 70 deer grazing on the shoulder of the road during my 3 hr commute, and not having any available cellular phone signal the entire trip encouraged me to completely depend on my Heavenly Husband to guide me.

I think of all of my friends and relatives and conversations from other women I have met in my lifetime, and all I can remembert hearing them say is that driving long distances with their husbands can be a TRYING time. Many a heated argument over driving directions, stubbornness, etc have ruined a vacation or potentially peaceful drive. As I drove alone ( my children had fallen asleep not 15 minutes after we got on the road!) I talked to God peacefully and listened to and sang encouraging hymns and inspirational classican piano, I listened to him guide me, telling me, look to your left, look to your right, okay now slow down here, turn your brights on there, no arguing, no power struggle, no stubbornness. I had to totally depend on his expertise to guide me through my fear and anxiety of my drive. I mean he created the environment I was traveling through, so who better to guide me than the Almighty Creator! I thought about my drive as I got home and how it was actually very easy and relaxing. I couldn't help but wonder if God was trying to tell me that just as he can easily guide me through a peaceful three hour drive through dark two lane road filled with anxious deer, he can peacefully guide me through life, filled with fiery test, and tempestuous storms, deep valleys, and land mines of various destruction's. I thought about Psalms 32: 7-8 7. Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. 8. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. He and only he can help guide me through the trials of parenthood, the ups and downs of singleness, and the joys and pains of single parenthood. As long as we look to him for direction and follow his direction we will be fine. He is our maker. So my lesson learned through all of this, is to sit back, shut up and let my Heavenly husband drive. Blessings to you and stay encouraged!