Tattoo's- The Painful After Effects

I wanted to share an article that I wrote about tattooing for a newsletter created by my pastor and other saints from my congregation. I wrote this article because I am seeing first hand the after effects of a phenomenon that is hundreds of years old, but is growing into a increasingly large mega trend among mine and the younger generation that is following. I decided to share my article because it is something that I did as a young rebellious woman, and now that I am older and about to be married, the damaging consequences are amplified more than ever. I was blessed though that my tattoo is small enough to have surgically removed before my wedding. However, I am being buffed about for my own faults, because as with all sin, it comes with a price, a whopping $650 price tag.

I don't mind sharing my story. I have told my FDH as much as I could tell while still being expedient and not painting a picture. I had to tell him, that I have an ungodly tattoo on my body that I feel would be an embarrassment for him to see once we get married. I told him that while I didn't feel led to go into details of my tattoo (i.e place, type, etc..) it wasn't something that I felt would be beneficial to our marriage. I mean, of course he knows that God cleaned me up from a miserable sinful life, and while I know he loves me unconditionally it still doesn't mean that I want my past to be advertised on my body for the rest of my future. So I sought out a board certified dermatologist and he explained the simple procedure. A small incision will be made on the tattoo, and a small portion of it will be removed from the top layer of skin, and the skin will sewn back together. Simple as stitching a deep flesh wound. Yes I will have a small scar, but to look at a scar versus looking at a constant reminder of a piece of me that was so opposite to who God has made me today is so much more worth it. To be able to feel completely free about that part of my sins being physically removed from me is very liberating. I feel a lot less embarrassed about myself. Don't get me wrong, while my self esteem doesn't suffer, the constant reminder of my sinful stupidity tends to be a thorn in my side.
I am sharing this because I don't want other young women to go through this. While explaining this may seem simple, its very costly financially, emotionally, and not to mention the physical pain I will endure, because I didn't mention that I can't afford anesthesia so this will be a deadening of the skin w/local anesthetic type thing. The price of sin is a great cost, and it's a cost that can be easily avoided by just serving God from the days of your youth. I encourage all young girls to just hold on and serve God, there is no temptation, peer pressure, fad or trend that you won't later regret and pay a price for. Below is the article I wrote.

Tattoos: The Devil’s Advertising

Tattooing for my generation and those younger is almost considered a rite of passage. According to statistics taken from a 2006 a study done by the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology found that 24% of Americans between 18 and 50 are tattooed; that's almost one in four. And the survey showed that about 36% of Americans age 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo!

Now I know that this may not seem very interesting or relevant, but as a human resource professional with one of the largest hospitals in the state, I see all to well the regret that comes with what the world calls art. I see applicants during interviews that can’t focus on the interview because they are worried about the impression and perception that they are giving when they have exposed tattoos. I see business men and doctors who will never wear short sleeves because of the unprofessional stigma that is tied to visible tattoos in corporate America. I see women who have a harder time achieving their professional goals because they are exposed with disgraceful highly visible tattoos that are frowned upon in management. With all that being said, I won’t even get into all the health risks that are associated with getting tattoos.

Unfortunately my generation and the generations behind me seem to think that tattooing is a form of artful expression, or as I said earlier a rite of passage. It has gone from discreetly hidden to blatantly portrayed, there are even those who use their faces as a canvas to display the colorful, permanent, and hideous display of what I call the devil’s advertising. The devil tricks you that it’s cool, and turns you into a permanent walking advertising billboard.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental, I admit I deal with the shame of this every day because when I was in my sin, I thought it was cool to get not one, but two tattoos. Even though I am now saved, my sins are forgiven, and I have on a new garment of a new man, when I see what I did to my body I feel regret. Yes, God has delivered me, but the stamp of Satan serves as a constant reminder of what he delivered me from.

You can have tattoos removed, but the costs are high and painful as with all sin. That one moment of pleasure costs you more that its worth in the long run. My message is simple, your body is not yours but the Lord’s (I Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?). One day you will get older, and you will desire a career, family and all those other things that are associated with becoming settled. Don’t let the devil’s advertising stand in your way. Don’t run the risk of having to explain to your children how it’s not good to get tattoos all the while as you constantly walk around displaying yours.

Thanks for reading and be blessed and stay encouraged! smfg

Another Dating Post.....( Sorry, But I Just Had To)

Okay, Okay... I know I have spent the past couple of posts talking about dating and its negatives and I hate to sound like an anti- dating tyrant but something happened over the weekend that just re- stirred my emotions on this topic.This weekend while eating dinner at a very popular restaurant, I had a very heart breaking conversation with the young lady who was my server.

This young girl was very strikingly beautiful with personality to match and I almost choked on my drink when she stated that she was only 17, a high school senior taking a full load of honors classes, working 40hrs/week and had just been accepted into a very prestigious nursing school. What's wrong with that you may ask?

Well this poor baby ( yes I said baby) sat down and talked to us for over an hour about how unhappy she was with her current relationship of two years with a 19 year old who takes her money, breaks up with her on weekends (openly for other girls) , constantly told her how fat she is, but who desires to move in with her and gave her a bubble gum promise ring to prove his undying love. Did I mention that she works 40/hrs a week and he is currently unemployed but always needs gas money?

I asked her very simply and calmly with all the love I could, “ Why don’t you just leave him?” “ You see and know that he doesn’t love you” “You have your whole entire future waiting on you and you are such a beautiful young lady” Her response- “ I know he doesn’t love me, but I can’t let him go. I need him, and he is all I know, I have been with him since I was 15”
At that very moment I wanted to jump across the table and hug her. I asked if she were close to her mom, she says “yes, my mom prays for me when I cry but I just can’t leave him”

I went on to talk with her and just share my story and similar experiences with her and how life may turn out for her if she doesn't leave him. I left promising her that I would keep coming back to check on her frequently. My heart went out for her. To be so emotionally scarred and bound at such a young age. To be so young and entangled in such an adult experiences and lifestyle is heart wrenching for me. To be emotionally bound by another person for years and not just any years but teenage years, the best years, the free years.

This is painful reality in so many young precious lives. How can we as mothers prevent this? Well, we can start by standing firm and sheltering our children from the wiles of dating. We can also start by explaing our firm stand to them at a young age. We can finish by validating our children, showing them how precious they are in God's sight. Ensure that they know they are a gift only to be unwrapped by the person God gifts them to. Let us remember to keep praying for this young generation. Pray that God will give them the peace of a happy childhood with out the worries of an adult experience.

Be Blessed, Stay Prayerful and Stay Encouraged!

Fathers and Daughters -Filling the Void

I read another one of my good friend Lylah's wonderful posts on mothering and this one really impressed me. Being I have daughters I find myself drawn more and more to blogs and posts that center around raising positive daughters. Her post entitled How God Built Girls is a beautiful sentiment and reminder of how important the roles that fathers play in their daughters lives. I personally am a daddy's girl! I thank God daily for my dad and for the fact that he allowed me to be raised by a true man of God. My dad has also stepped in and accepted the role of father/pa-pa to my daughters and I am eternally grateful that he treats them as princesses and gives them that much needed fatherly attention. I realize that while I am blessed, there may be other mothers out there who unfortunately have no positive male role models for their daughters. Guess what, you do! I live almost 100 miles from my mom and dad so my daughters are not around them daily anymore, but I make sure to show them Godly men in the bible, and I allow them and encourage them to look to God for provision of all their needs. They are little now(8/6) but God has given me his peace and confidence in that as long as I serve him and raise my children in his fear and obedience he will bless me to raise beautiful, pure, productive, and blessed children. As single parents we must cling to that hope, we can not be moved by the fear of the enemy in the statistics and reports of failed single parent homes. Below is an excerpt from Lylah's post.

How God Built Girls.
Family Systems and Dad's Building Blocks God built girls to be loved, nurtured, doted on, cared for and kissed and cuddled a lot. He built little girls to need hugs and tender mom touches. He built little girls to need to hear words like, “I love you my precious, darling princess and I’m so proud of you.”He built little girls to be held on laps, taken for walks, and hear talks about God and how good He is. He built little girls to be protected and provided for (food, shelter, clothes, education). He built little girls to feel cared for and to be spoken gently too. He built little girls to LOVE being a girl!Good Mothering Good mothering gives little girls a needed foundation to love being a girl. God wants moms to provide the secure, nurturing place for her little daughter so she can grow up and feel secure and know that it’s wonderful being FEMALE. You'll know if it's happened because of the sparkle in the eye. (This is my 3rd granddaughter.)Culture tries to make it not so wonderful—but God says it is. Culture has distorted the beautiful image of being a woman. Fashion magazines, TV and things like that give an “impression” that is damaging.If you have daughters, what impression are you giving them? If you have sons how are you modeling being a Biblical woman? In what ways are you modeling respect?-LylahL, The Lylah Blog

You can read the rest of her post here

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged-smfg

The Bondage of Beauty- And How It Affects Us Part I

Sorry friends for posting so late today. I was pondering today about what to write about, I have so many thoughts and writings that I have started but I want my posts to be by God for God so after praying about what to write for his glory, he laid today's topic on my heart.

I have been following the news about the rapper Kayne West's mother who died from complications of her cosmetic surgery. My prayers are with him and his family. While I do not listen to his music, I am aware of who he is and the contributions that his mother made during her life here on this earth. She was a very highly esteemed, respected, successful and well educated single mom. I thought of her as a role model for how she never let her single mother status stop her from achieving her goals.

I hope that my thoughts surrounding this situation do not come across as uncaring, or disrespectful as I am not commenting on his mother but of what I feel is the trap behind cosmetic surgery and the need for women to feel pretty. With so many un-reported complications behind cosmetic surgery, eating disorders, depression, and other ugly things associated with the need for our girls to fit in a mold that is not always as pretty or beautiful as they think. What about the images that our boys are given. What they are taught to accept and embrace as beauty? This has been such a heavy weight on my heart and mind this week.

For instance, today I felt I was having a very un-pretty day. Translation, I just didn't feel that I looked my best. Something has created a break-out on my face, right around my eyes and so I felt as though I look horrid, as young as I am I seem to sprout grey hair by the hour, I feel as if I look so old. I can tell that I am gaining weight in the wrong place, but just don't have the time to committ to the strenuous excersise that is needed to manage it before it gets out of hand. All of my flaws and insercurites seem to be right in my face larger than life.

Well as soon as I accepted these thoughts, the enemy being the person that he is decided to try and get in a few punches- "Vanity, saved women aren't supposed to struggle with feeling pretty. It's vanity and pride." Well I cast that imagination down and decided to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. Why? Well first the way we think of ourselves is how we project ourselves, I believe and secondly and more imortantly I have two beautiful daughters, and they both have days when they tell me they just don't feel pretty.... I want and NEED to learn how do I deal with this? How do I teach them self acceptanace and how to embrace thier inner beauty, and most importantly how to accept how God sees them!

Is there Scripture supporting how we view ourselves? YES-And last but not least, how do I teach them that naturalness and modesty is beautiful ? Truly I know that the world is against the very thing that I stand for in regards to modesty, and I don't want this to be a battle for my daughters.

I also find it sad that the generation of women who taught us as young women to embrace our beauty, that it comes from the inside and not the outside are now turning to the knife to make them mainstream beautiful. What has happend when our grandmothers are now falling under the pressure of the sterotypes that the world had given us about beauty and self acceptance??

A few Scriptures came to mind as I meditated and prayed about this , the first being Psalm 149:4For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. I love this Scripture!! I remember the days when I wouldn't go to the corner store without a face full of make up! How sad was I to be bound in selfcentered vanity!!! I want my daughters to grow up knowing strongly that a meek and humble spirit given through salvation is the most beautiful gift ever recieved! I want my nephews to grow up knowing that true beauty comes from within, it is not what man teaches us, it is not what we see on the magazines, and televisions but it radiates from within. Beauty is a way of life, not a mask that can be brushed on and washed off, trimmed, or lengthend, or artificial in any way.

We must teach our little girls and boys from babies to adults how to love themselves, and to accept the person that God has made them. If there is anything that they don't like about themselves, we have to teach them to pray and ask God to help them love themselves as he created them, and to give them the measure of meekness that is needed to be beautiful and of great price in his eyes. 1 Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying that we shouldn't want to look nice, or pretty, I am saying that we have to be careful and see the bond of vanity that can easily creep in and take away our appreciation for how God created us. If we or (our children) find ourselves comparing ourselves to what the world thinks is beautiful, we need to stop and pray for God to refocus us and shift our thoughts to the things that are beautiful in his eyesight. I have so many thoughts on this that I believe this could constitute a Part II!