Frugal Friday- Single Moms and Rapid Refund Loans

Wow it is certainly good to be back on this blog! I have been feeling impressed lately to start blogging here because since I have been married there is so many things I see that I can share with single mothers as a hindsight experience or a moment to bridge build and encourage! I plan to start blogging here at least twice a week Lord willing.

I have been thinking a lot lately as I have been watching and listening to various tax commercials on TV and the radio, and this enormous push for Rapid Refund Anticipation Loans, and other programs designed to prey on a person's dire financial situations. Single mothers I believe just so happen to be a huge target audience, one because they more than likely are going to qualify for EIC so their refund alone will be fairly substantial, and secondly it's just a time of year that many who are barely surviving financially look forward to. I also believe that the enemy is faithful to snare us with stumbling blocks right before tax time so that we feel the need to make impulsive decisions regarding our money. He keeps us from being a good steward because we think we need help right now or instantaneously.

I personally have never taken out a rapid tax loan, I was going to one year but the costs just seemed too astronomical to me. I finally rested on that I had been waiting all year, and a couple more weeks wouldn't hurt me. You know what, I ended up getting my refund back in about a week and a couple days. The bills held off, and I was able to enjoy all of my hard earned money. The couple hundred dollars I was going to pay someone to loan me money against my money seemed like loan sharking. Eventually I just quit going to tax preparers and start filing online myself using the free versions of online tax software that I received off the IRS website. I personally used Turbo Tax because it was simple, it walked me through step by step and it ran an error check. I have yet to be audited by the IRS and now that I am married I found it even more helpful.

I just wanted to share my thoughts on how I just find it atrocious that single mothers fall victim to this marketing ploy. I mean we single mothers are some of the most resourceful, strong, and smart women out there. ( I say we because I will always be a single mom in heart as being married doesn't erase my past experiences or my love for my fellow single mothers) and every dollar counts. Why pay someone to do something that you can do, and why pay someone to give you something that is rightfully yours. It makes no sense to me either.

I encourage you this tax season that if you haven't done so yet, and or leaning towards applying for a loan against your refund amount pray and consider waiting for another week or so. Ask God to give you the strength and patience to hold out for a few more days. Ask him to give you the wisdom to be a good steward over your tax money as you would your earnings and pay checks. Ask him to give you divine instruction on how to make every dollar count and to resist the urge to fall victim to the "right now" marketing ploy that is targeted to a certain population of individuals who are branded and stereotyped behind closed doors as needy, impatient, desperate and impulsive. You are not that brand. You are strong, resilient and deserve every dime of the money you work so hard for. Now if are in an dire and immediate situation that affects the safety and well being of your children, your home, or your job then I encourage you to do what you need to do, just know that as I stated earlier many times the enemy will throw things our way to make us seem as we need help immediately. It is a trick of the devil. Just think how so many times things start to fall apart the end of December, during January and the beginning of February, during that time when you know you have funds coming. I do believe that if you lean, depend and trust in God he will help you through until you can get your refund back exactly on time, exactly the right amount without having to pay man to loan you what is rightfully yours.

Stay blessed and encouraged! mrs thomas

New Spot

Just in case you have been wondering where in the world I have been lately??? Well, I am now posting on my new blog. I plan to post here from time to time, but for time's sake I will be primarily posting on my new blog:

A Marriage After His Heart!

Pics and video will be posted there. See ya at the new spot!!

mrs. thomas

Checking In

Hello All,

I am not sure if anyone will have the chance to read this message or not, but I wanted to report that all is well with my life as a newly wed. It is the most amazing experience I could imagine. I am forever grateful to God for blessing me with such a wonderful husband. The wedding was all that I could imagine and more because God was there with us. And we are finally able to relax on our honeymoon in our quiet, and beautiful smokey mountain cabin in Gatlinburg TN. Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. I hope to post more sooner when I can come up for air;)

ps: I also have this posted on my new blog A Marriage After His Heart

mrs. thomas

5 Days and Counting

I can hear the virtual ticking in my ear as I race around finalizing wedding plans this week. I keep getting asked the "are you nervous yet" question, and as of today I'm not so much nervous about the marriage as I am the wedding ceremony. I want this day to be as beautiful as possible as so many people have invested so much in it. I feel truly blessed. I had a total of four bridal showers and I walked away from each one feeling loved and the genuine excitement from all those who have been waiting just as anxiously as I have for this day. I am feeling a level of excitement that is indescribable and exhilarating.

I may not have much time to blog this week as there are so many final details to be done so keep me in your prayers I will try to post before the end of the week. Have a blessed day!

Catching Up and Another Idea Solicitation

Once again I have been horrible at maintaining my blog. As you can see by my trusty counter to the right there, I only have 10, yes 10 days before my wedding. As you can probably imagine my life is a little hectic and fast paced at this point. Next Wed will be my last day at work for a couple of weeks and I have a ton of stuff to do there before I leave to ensure that the building doesn't collapse in my absence. I also have other last minute bridal stuff to do, and I'm failing pretty miserably at it. Nonetheless, none of this peril moves me. I am still happy, excited, nervous, motivated and looking forward to the end of this process and the beginning of my new life.

Even more excited than I am are my girls. They are over the moon and I am glad that they witnessed this process. I do wish that I could have had them the "right way", but since I didn't we have just made lemonade out of our past lemons, and I must say that it is sweet.

I do have a bit of advice to solicit. I am looking for reception ideas. My reception will be void of the traditional worldly fare, but I plan on making it a fun, energized, and happy Christian affair. Being that my creative juices are drying up right now, do any of you have any ideas of some things that we could do besides eat, drink and be merry.... I have music, we have the toasts, the cake cutting and all of that stuff, but I want something more, especially since we won't have the dancing. I really would like to send a message that gathering together to enjoy Godly fellowship and celebrate a holy union doesn't have to involve drinking and dancing and hooking up. Any insight will be most valuable. Have a blessed day!

Makeover Challenge Winner- New Blog Name!!!

Well folks, I planned on making my announcement tomorrow, but I have a ton of last minute wedding stuff to do, and did not want to accidentally not post. So we have a winner for my makeover challenge. It was so hard to decide but we felt like we wanted my new blog name to represent the desires of our marriage and so with out further ado ***drum roll please**** SingleMomForGod will officially change names after June 14, 2008 to:

A Marriage After His Heart

submitted by Kysha, from Love's School

This name has so much of a deep meaning, not only do I want a marriage after my husbands heart, but a marriage after God's heart. I believe deeply that as long as we both strive towards this desire, our family desires and everything else naturally will fall into place. There may be some bumps and the journey may prove to be rather adventurous nevertheless I look forward to all it has to offer. I especially look forward to sharing my experiences with you. Thank you to all who participated.

Kysha, email me so that I can have Amazon send the gift card to you, and give you more details.

Have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

That's Not My Reflection Is It?

Lately, I have been in a bit of a tizzy. I will admit that I have somewhat evolved into a baby bridezilla. No, not the full fledged fire breathing, demanding, one, but a pure baby sensitive, thin skinned, frustrated, toddler bridezilla. The funny thing is that I had no clue that I was turning into a little baby monster. I would sit and watch that show cracking up thinking man, I'm glad I'm not bossing people around and just being mean. However as truth always has a habit of coming to light I found that I was being a big baby. I was allowing myself to become overly frustrated which makes me uber sensitive, whiny, and withdrawn and I wan't as friendly as I was thinking I was. As hindsight would have it I could have been less frustrated if I had not alienated (unintentionally) some very dear people in my life and baby bridezilla would have never been hatched. But God is always faithful to show us ourselves even when we don't want to look in the mirror, or even if we are semi blinded by our reflection.

Sometimes its hard to see little flaws, even when people are pointing them out to you. Thankfully God has a big old magnifying mirror which shows you all of the little flaws, open pores, and developing blemishes that we mere mortals don't always seem to have a keen eye for. Really, its a blessing to get a reality check from God. Why? Well he really doesn't have to let us know we have spinach in our teeth. He could let us walk around thinking we are just the cutest little Christians all the while we could have a little bugger that is oblivious to us, but obvious to others. That's the kind of friend God is, and I am eternally grateful that he loves me enough to let me know that I "aint" always as cute as I think. I am also greatful that I humbled myself and allowed myself to see the reflection in the mirror before it was too late. Bridezilla could easily grow into Wifezilla, and God knows that's not who I ever want to be. I thank him for showing me my flaws and giving me an opportunity to die out to those flaws so that I don't take them into my marrige. The truth hurts but I would rather it hurt me now, than for me to hurt my husband later.

I have to dedicate this post to all of my friends that are involved in my wedding somehow. I couldn't be blessed with a better group of friends, of sisters, of family. To have you all be a part of my special day is a Godsend. There could never be enough thank you's to show how grateful I am for what each of you mean to me. Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Makeover Challenge Finalists

I have been such a horrible blogger lately. Most of you don't know that I normally blog on my lunch break from work as I don't have Internet access from home. Work has been very busy lately so I haven't had the change to blog much. But as promised we (me and my fdh) narrowed down our five favorites. So without further ado, here is the list:

1. MarriedMomForGod
2. A Marriage After His Heart
3. Blending with Him
4. For His Glory
5. Marvelous In Our Eyes

The guest judges will be my two lovely little girls. They are excited about this process and so am I!! I will have the winners announced on Friday!! Thanks for participating. Have a blessed day!

Single Mom Make Over Contest

I am in need of a make-over. Well not me, but my blog is in need of a make-over. Being that in less than a month I will no longer be a single mom, I came to the conclusion that I am going to have to change my blog name. While I still have the desire to encourage single mother's out there, the fact still remains that while I won't be a single mom anymore there is still so much territory to cover in chronicling my transition into my new life. However, after many failed attempts at creativity I have decided (unlike another lady who's running for president,) to bow out gracefully in my attempt to rename my blog.

So, I am conducting a contest, give-a-way or whatever you would like to call it for the new name for my blog. The lucky winner will receive a $20 gift certificate from Amazon.com, ( sorry I wish I could afford the $200 one in the picture but alas I can't:) and the opportunity to guest post while I am away on my honeymoon.

The contest starts today and will end at midnight 05/22/08. My FDH, the girls and I will spend the Memorial Day Weekend choosing our favorites and the 5 finalist will be posted on Memorial Day for a panel of guest judges to choose. I will list the guest judges the same day as the finalist and the winner will be announced on 05/31/08. I will use the new name on 6/14/08, the morning of my wedding.

I am listing the rules here:

1. Once you have read the post, leave a comment with your idea of a new name in the comments section.
2. Contest starts today and will end on 05/22/08. Finalist will be named 05/27/05 and the winner will be named 05/31/08.
3. Please only one entry per person
4. Gift card will be emailed the same day as the announcement.

There have been so many women who have provided invaluable knowledge and points of views on so many touching topics. I (we) feel so blessed to have read so many informative posts and are eagerly awaiting the creative name for my blog.Thank you all in advance for participating and have fun!

And The Months Go By............

I have been out of blog world lately on a little medical hiatus. I am happy to report that the surgery went well and I am now tattoo free!!!! Thank the Lord this ordeal is now closed and I can move on with my new life a burden lighter.

Time has seemed to have flown by so fast. I began my courtship in January and today marks the 1 month countdown to my wedding. I can't even begin to imagine where time has gone, all I know is that I have 30 days until I marry the man God personally created for me. While I have been caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, nothing epitomized the realness of this process than the day we went in to get our marriage license. This little piece of paper evoked a flood of emotions between the both of us. It finally set in for me that this is real, and in 30 days I won't be a single mom any longer. I will be a wife, a mother, a help meet, and a follower to the leader of my home. I have no regrets, no anxieties, no desire to reclaim the independence that I have so been ready to depart from.

I loved Terry's post on the need and biblical requirement of interdependence in a marriage. There have been many people who have asked me if I were going to hyphenate my last name and I so gladly reply NO!! I will be my father's daughter until June 14, on that date and thereafter I will be my husbands wife. There is no way I can obey scripture Matthew 19:5 ('For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'") if I still hold on to my father's name and try to join it with my husband as if he is a mere simple hyphenated addition to my father's legacy.

When I get married I have to leave that legacy and join with my husband to create a new one. This poses no problem or threat in fact it's a beautiful and scared requirement that I have prayed to long to fulfill. How can I honor my husband if I am not willing to accept his last name. While it is the norm for a huge majority of women in the professional world, or just the world per say to be Mrs. Such-And Such, I am glad that I no longer identify with this majority. Please remember to keep me in your prayers as the months and Lord willing years continue to go by....

Be Blessed and Stay encouraged

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE LOVING MOTHERS OUT THERE. TODAY IS YOUR DAY! REST, RELAX, AND ENJOY TODAY TO THE FULLEST!

Last Nail In The Coffin

Last month I wrote a post about tattoos and the after effects in which you can read here. During my wild and rebellious hey day I stupidly got the stupidest tattoo ever imaginable. Now I am saved, engaged to be married in a little over a month, and I have the blessed opportunity to drive the final nail in the coffin that contains my sinful reminders that I don't want to take into my marriage. While even though he knows about this ugly little thorn in my side, I am not sure I want him to have to see my sin plastered all on my body for the rest of our lives so tomorrow, I am going to have my ugly little stupid tattoo surgically removed. Yep, I am going on the chopping block to have them give me a shot of local anesthetics, cut that tattoo off my top layer of skin and sew me back up. Sounds kinda gross, but for me it's a victory. I finally get the chance to get rid of the visual reminder of my sin graffiti.Yes, I know he will accept me the way I am, but this is one of those things that just needs to be buried. No funeral, no memorial, nothing but a plain casket and buried deep into the ground. I ask that you pray for me that this minor procedure will be just what it is: minor.

The more I type, the more I think about all of those sinful little skeletons that are dying to come out of the closet and rob us of our spiritual self esteem. Such is the case with me , and every time I look in the mirror I feel a overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment. This my friends should not be. When I repented of my sins, they were cast as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12), so then why can't I accept that and allow him to cast the guilt and shame from those sins with them. We have to strive( especially as women) to allow those past guilty and shameful trash bags be tossed along with our sins because in essence they only rob us of the true joy and beauty that is associated with salvation.

Have a blessed week and keep me in your prayers. smfg

Weather: Science or Scripture??

Nahum 1:3 The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.(KJV)

pictures taken from fox16news.com

It seems like lately my poor little state has had so many tornado's. We had one this morning that claimed the lives of seven( thus far). Many have lost their homes and businesses and are just left completely devastated. Some communities haven't recovered from the major twister we had earlier last month. You can read about that one and see the pictures here and here.

This is just a constant reminder to me of God's awesome and unexpected power. In the bible, the whirlwind is referenced 27 times. Of the 27 times it's referenced in Scripture, only twice is it not associated with God's fury. I sometimes ask myself if the recent and frequent acts of nature due to God's fury? Is there a message hidden in the whirlwinds, floods, earthquakes, tsunami's and wildfires? If indeed he is trying to send a message, are we getting it? Or are we so caught up in trying to disassociate the weather with it's prominent relevance in Scripture and associate it more with science?

Many seem to get angry when you associate weather with God but I can't help but to wonder in awe about the spiritual correlation. I'm not saying that God is punishing us with weather, but it's something about man, we just tend to forget to acknowledge his power and we tend to lean more towards scientific explanation. Just something to ponder the old noggin as I try to seek God more than I do the local weather man. And to think we had a low percent chance of rain just a few days ago and a killer tornado once again when we least expected it.

Also if you get a chance, check out my bloggy buddy Terry's Virtual Baby Shower over at Brenda's Place at the Family Revised. It's a treat and a wonderful way to start the weekend!

More Advice Solicitation

Okay, I have a need for more advice. I don't know if it's because I am getting married,or because everyone around me seems to be preganated ( as my friend calls it) but I have the baby itch...... I will admit, I know nothing at all about planning for a baby as I didn't plan to have either one of mine. And I don't really know how I feel about the topic of birth control. I know I don't believe in contraceptives of any kind, but I don't know how I feel about natural method, AND right not that's not what I am soliciting. My FDH wants a nice size family ( an old testament family as he so jokingly calls it) and of course I do to.

My dilemma that with my girls I worked so much that I missed out on so many milestones. I had great support from my parents, but honestly they raised my babies and not me. I was that mother that had to send them to daycare at 3 months and one at 5 wks, because I had to work and sometimes my work included traveling and or living away from my children ( military). My oldest was born the summer of my last semester of undergrad so I was able to stay with her a little longer, but then once the semester started I had to go away, and my littlest, well I took off so much due to complications, that I didn't have much leave time and I had to leave her at 5 wks. Shortly after she was born, I was called to active duty and had to leave them both for almost a year, that's not to mention how many other times I have had to leave them due to a demanding job. But that is the reality for many single women. You HAVE to work, sometimes you have to make a trade and its not easy. It's not easy when your baby looks to your parents when they are hurting, or sick, just plain old would rather be with them than you. It's not that they don't love you, they just aren't used to your 100% of time and nurturing. I could go on and on, but I wont. It's too painful, and it's the past.

Needless to say, I don't desire to do this again. EVER again. So I am soliciting advice for all those women who left the workforce to come home. I know I want to come home, and we are praying for the right time, but how did you do it? I would love to hear the stories and the encouragement. And being that we had such an explosive post going around last week about the values of being a keeper at home, especially within my race I would love to sop up all the teaching I can.

Breaking The Tradition

nee nee & mommy at her honor roll ceremony earlier this month!

Yesterday, my eight year old daughter Nee -Nee Pooh said the coolest thing to me. We were sitting at dinner and she was talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She said, and I quote

Nee Nee: " Mommy, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Can I go to any college I want"

Me: " Sure "

Nee Nee: "I still don't know what I want to be, someone wants me to be a doctor, and I sometimes want to be a teacher, I just don't really know!"

Me: " Well, maybe you should start praying for God to show you what he wants you to be when you grow up, that may help."

Nee Nee: I think God just wants me to be a wife.

Me: *sniff, sniff* Yep, I believe that what he wants you to be too.... That's the best job!

I wont bore you with the entire conversation, but my little girl is showing interest in being a wife and homemaker and she has already called her grandparents to inquire how she should word her future wedding invitations.

A couple of years ago, I did and would still be trying to map her life out; honors classes, career planning by 10th grade, high school education with honors, then on to the top colleges for undergrad/graduate school. I would have probably start shoving the "anything a man can do, you can do better mentality down her throat", and I will admit, that I used to preach blatant independence in my house. None of my daughters would ever be totally dependent on a man,but God saw differently and Praise the Lord that he did!

It's a blessing to see that all the hot button posts last week were not in vain! I didn't know she read them, or listened to me talk to my FDH about our hot topic discussions, but I thank God for giving me a more clear direction to pray about and work on with my daughter. She will be turning 9 this summer , so I only have a little time left to teach her the things I didn't know but am learning through biblical knowledge and practical experiences through myself and others. I especially thank him for speaking through her, its always easier to teach someone who has a willing heart. Stay Blessed and Encouraged-smfg

50 Days

I wanted to take a break from my latest hot topic issue and use my blog today and send a message to my FDH. We have only 50 days before our wedding. Sometimes, time seems to fly by and we wonder where did the days go, and sometimes it seems to move at a snails pace and we wonder when will this day come to be, but looking back at my life, I wouldn't trade these 50 days for anything this world has to offer. All the wedding ceremony hooplah aside, how I feel below is all that matters right now.

In 50 days my life will change for the better. I will have a different calling for my life, a calling that can only make me a better woman for God and my family. I met you a mere 987 days ago. Sometimes 50 days seems like an eternity, but looking back a the 987 days since, 50 days seems minuscule. 987 days I have had the blessed opportunity to watch you grow into the man that God was shaping you to be now, a life time is what I will have to watch the finished product take its form. Watching the potter is an awesome thing, being half of the clay is even better. When the enemy tries to over throw us with how far away our day seems to be, we can remind him of the 987 days that God carried us through to bring us to these 50 days and counting ....... Always, your FDW

Have a Blessed weekend!

Who Then Will Teach Us?

I was pondering a lot last night about the course of dialogue between myself, Terry and Mrs. Henderson yesterday. Between the three of us we had some pretty explosive point of views on the lack of African American keepers of the home. While it certainly was not my intent to sound so radical, I will be the first to say, I am the different one of the bunch. I work outside the home. Working for me is a necessity because I am one of the single parent statistics. Do I like working? NO, would I love to stay at home and be the mother God has called me to be? Absolutely! When I get married am I praying for God to open doors for me to say Hasta' La Vista' to corporate America? You better believe I am.

I believe with all my heart that we are all apart of God's kingdom, and we are all one race. However, the reality is that the society that we live in doesn't identify solely to the human race, we are different races, colors, cultures, ethnicity's and so forth. While I love all people regardless of any of the fore mentioned, I have to come to grips that God made me to fit in the African American box, it's who and what I relate to. I live with it every day and I have to accept that is what and who I am. I couldn't tell you what it's like to live the life of any other ethnicity but my own. So therefore I am passionate about the causes that affect my race. I am passionate about the causes that affect all people, but am I wrong for being passionate about the causes that affect the box that society labels me???

As we were driving to bible study last night, I asked my FDH if my post yesterday seemed a little radical? " A little" he replied. Good, I thought to myself. Sometimes it takes a little ruffling of feathers to get the truth out. This is one of those elephant's in the room that doesn't get addressed in our culture. Its a fact that if you are an educated, professional, young African American woman who opens her mouth to dare say, " I want to come out of the workforce and be a stay at home mom" I promise you will get more looks of amazement than you will get agreement. Being a keeper of the home is just not something that is widely taught in our culture. I guess my question is, who's responsibility is it to teach our women that it's not a negative stigma to stay at home and raise a family? Who will teach the God given responsibility? Is it the church's responsibility? Is it the community of Christian women who are following God's standard according to his word? Or should it be an individual experience, if your want it you have to get it for yourself? Who will stand against the often stated notion that the bible "wasn't written for this day and age? " Do we honestly think that God meant for his commandment for women to take care of their families only last during certain centuries? Are we to assume that the Prov 31 woman was only a example that had a 20th century expiration date?

I have heard from so many women that this simply isn't being taught in the church. Could it be because the more income a family has, the more tithes will be paid to the church? Or could it be a taboo sermon that will quickly get the pastor voted out? Could it be because no one is teaching the men that keepers at home doesn't equate laziness, and that you still have to treat your wife as Christ does the church? Or could it be that no one is pointing out how important we need our mamma's to be home to give hugs, kisses, advice, time, conversation and so much more? Who is exposing the invaluable worth in that?

I have so many questions and I have so much more that I would love to elaborate on, but unfortunately my lunch break is over and I must return back to work . If you get a chance check out the remainder of the dialogue over at Terry's place.

Who's to Blame?

I've been MIA the past couple of days ( no time to blog) and am back with a whole lot to say today. My good friends Terry and Mrs. Henderson have had the most interesting dialogue about the history behind the lack of African American keepers of the home. You can read both their post here and here. They were both 150% correct in their statements, and as a single mom as much as the truth burns it's still truth. Fact of the matter is, there are more opportunities for women of other races to stay at home than it is in our race. Why? Well because unfortunately we do have a phenomenally high rate of single parent homes. There is no one else to work and provide income. We are somewhat behind and not always educated on ways to make money from home so we can leave the workforce. I guess the question is who's to blame for this cycle?

Is it the sinful young woman and man who are both so bound by sin that they can't resist the temptation of fornication? Or is it the devil who is on his job to kill, steal, and destroy?
Is it the government with their welfare reform during the days of LBJ or slavery/Jim Crow because black women then were raised to be subservient to others more than they were to their own households? We all have heard the stories of the mammies, and the maids raising the "rich white folks children". ( no offense, just stating historical quotes)

Or is it the race to not be poor and the overwhelming flood of middle and upper class blacks who with all their hard work showed us that we can become educated and be viewed as first class citizens in America's class system ? We can send our sons and daughters to non HBCU's and Ivy league schools so that they can be a little more leveled on this un-leveled playing field. What about Affirmative Action that opened doors for black women to go to school/work and to obtain degrees/ promotions so that they could make a half way decent living, all the while either sending their children to day care and pre-school or forsaking family all together? And lets not forget the Civil Rights act that gave black men and women equal opportunity in advancing in and obtaining career status, again so they would not be poor and would grow to look down upon the people they no longer connect with.

Or is it gross negligence on the black churches who for some reason seem to be found on almost every corner sometimes an entire street and just shows the world how unified our infamous "Black Christian faith" really is? Or is it the demise of honest preachers and ministers truly living what they preach, and truly being called by God and not Seminary to preach? Nowadays the only thing people tend to go to church for is to pay the preacher who's house and bank account is full of filthy lucre to hear a feel good motivational sermon that can't last more than an hour or the church will start clock watching and vote him out, all the while we have a choir full of sinners who can sang now, and everyone is a part of some type of board or committee. Don't get mad at me yet, I am just speaking what is spoken and seen from the mouths and eyes of the sinner folk. No messages that really put bible judgment, no crying out against the sins, just a simple it's okay, you can do it over and over again and still God loves you- He knows your heart.

I firmly believe its a combination of all of the above. Mainly the latter! The church through black history has always played a pivotal role in the black community. I agree with both Terry and Mrs. Henderson that the problem lies with sin. But if someone tells you that you can repent of your sins, remain saved for the rest of your life, but still sin every so often because no man but Jesus can live sin free; why would you want salvation? Why would you want deliverance from sin, when the person selling you the deliverance is telling you you can't really be delivered? If no one is preaching and teaching the concept of the "keeper of the home" then how will future generations of young African American women desire it?

I will continue this post tomorrow but I want to ask a question. Isn't this being done? Can anyone see how hard it must be for a person to want to be saved but doesn't see any true example of salvation as the bible give us? Or are we promoting the sinners misconception of the church by part taking in a congregation who's testimony isn't what is should? And last but not least what have we done lately as Christian women to help these sinners that we talk about so much choose Christ and salvation?

Its Friday!!!

Well good friends, we have made it to another Friday/weekend. Whooo Hooo! Thank you so much for your advice yesterday and today as I type I am sipping on a bottle of water. I have made it a commitment to try and drink more water and to encourage my kids to do the same. My mother so graciously and bluntly pointed out in her comment yesterday that I need to change my not so healthy habits as my children are watching and listening. With that being said, I posted a video that was sent to me today that further served as a confirmation that I just need to get up and accept the changes I need to make. Children watch us, and they listen to us and eventually they become us. I want healthy daughters and I want to be around for them as long as I can. My body is not mine but the Lord's and I must take care of it even if it means drinking water when I would rather have a strong root beer :)
Have a glorious spring weekend. My boss has decided to be gracious and allow me to leave three hours early so that I can get some much needed wedding stuff done ( I am going to purchase my veil, hair piece and slip today!) and I am going to try and enjoy the beautiful April shower free weather that is predicted for us! Oh yeah, did anyone know that Mc Donald's has the cutest .24 micro mini kids cones? They don't advertise them, but if you ask for them they will make them for you. They look almost like sample cones, and my kids don't mind the size they have a blast laughing about how tiny they are. Just thought I would let you know in case you were looking for a way to spend a sunny weekend afternoon for less than a quarter per child.

Help Wanted

Okay I am going to run the risk of sounding vain and insecure, but I need help and advice from anyone who feels led to submit it on three detrimental ( in my mind) issues that I am facing. My wedding is less than two months away and I am having the most severe bout of acne. Part of the problem is I have really oily skin. Another part is I have a very nervous habit of putting my hands on my face when I am thinking and this causes me to break out in every spot my hand has touched, especially around my upper lip and chin area.I try so hard to keep my hands away from my face, but I feel like a child who can't stop sucking their thumb. I have tried almost everything on the market and am moving back towards Pro-Activ. I don't really like it but it does work, if you use it religiously. The moment you stop then its back to square one. Does anyone know of any type of natural yet inexpensive product that I can use???

Secondly, I need any cool advice on how to incorporate water into my diet. I hate it, I don't drink enough and I know that its a parallel to my acne problem. But I need some tips or something that I can use to help me stay motivated to drink more water

Last but not least, I now have a weight gain issue. They say love will make you gain weight. I say planning a wedding will make you gain weight. Every since I started taking a multivitamin from GNC with my prescription iron and 1300 mg of biotin, I have been starving. The biotin is actually working with growing my hair and making it stronger, but I believe everything else is increasing my appetite. All I do is eat. All day and its a hunger craving that I have never experience. I am gaining all of my weight in my stomach and with my size and frame it's very obvious. My clothes don't fit right and I just feel slouchy because if I try to move up a size some things fit too big in the wrong places and I look as if my clothes are just hanging off me.Or things look to tight in the tummy area and I start looking very first almost beginning of second trimesterish.
Yep, I even have people thinking I am getting married so soon because I am expecting. I am trying so hard to fit an exercise routine into my schedule but I just can't seem to squeeze the time in. The wedding has literally taken over my spare time. I tried on my dress the other day once my shoes came in ( BTW they are so cute) and all I could see was stomach pouch. I look eternally bloated. Is this nerves or what??? I mean I am not really overly concerned with appearance, but I am a woman and I do want to look good on my wedding day, or am I overreacting??