Welcome To My Refuge Spot

Welcome Friends to my blog about single motherhood and living for God. I hope that you find my thoughts and musings thought provoking and in alignment with God's word. Thank you for visiting and please feel free to share your comments and pass the word along to others who you feel could be blessed!

Friday, April 25, 2008

50 Days

I wanted to take a break from my latest hot topic issue and use my blog today and send a message to my FDH. We have only 50 days before our wedding. Sometimes, time seems to fly by and we wonder where did the days go, and sometimes it seems to move at a snails pace and we wonder when will this day come to be, but looking back at my life, I wouldn't trade these 50 days for anything this world has to offer. All the wedding ceremony hooplah aside, how I feel below is all that matters right now.

In 50 days my life will change for the better. I will have a different calling for my life, a calling that can only make me a better woman for God and my family. I met you a mere 987 days ago. Sometimes 50 days seems like an eternity, but looking back a the 987 days since, 50 days seems minuscule. 987 days I have had the blessed opportunity to watch you grow into the man that God was shaping you to be now, a life time is what I will have to watch the finished product take its form. Watching the potter is an awesome thing, being half of the clay is even better. When the enemy tries to over throw us with how far away our day seems to be, we can remind him of the 987 days that God carried us through to bring us to these 50 days and counting ....... Always, your FDW

Have a Blessed weekend!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Who Then Will Teach Us?

I was pondering a lot last night about the course of dialogue between myself, Terry and Mrs. Henderson yesterday. Between the three of us we had some pretty explosive point of views on the lack of African American keepers of the home. While it certainly was not my intent to sound so radical, I will be the first to say, I am the different one of the bunch. I work outside the home. Working for me is a necessity because I am one of the single parent statistics. Do I like working? NO, would I love to stay at home and be the mother God has called me to be? Absolutely! When I get married am I praying for God to open doors for me to say Hasta' La Vista' to corporate America? You better believe I am.

I believe with all my heart that we are all apart of God's kingdom, and we are all one race. However, the reality is that the society that we live in doesn't identify solely to the human race, we are different races, colors, cultures, ethnicity's and so forth. While I love all people regardless of any of the fore mentioned, I have to come to grips that God made me to fit in the African American box, it's who and what I relate to. I live with it every day and I have to accept that is what and who I am. I couldn't tell you what it's like to live the life of any other ethnicity but my own. So therefore I am passionate about the causes that affect my race. I am passionate about the causes that affect all people, but am I wrong for being passionate about the causes that affect the box that society labels me???

As we were driving to bible study last night, I asked my FDH if my post yesterday seemed a little radical? " A little" he replied. Good, I thought to myself. Sometimes it takes a little ruffling of feathers to get the truth out. This is one of those elephant's in the room that doesn't get addressed in our culture. Its a fact that if you are an educated, professional, young African American woman who opens her mouth to dare say, " I want to come out of the workforce and be a stay at home mom" I promise you will get more looks of amazement than you will get agreement. Being a keeper of the home is just not something that is widely taught in our culture. I guess my question is, who's responsibility is it to teach our women that it's not a negative stigma to stay at home and raise a family? Who will teach the God given responsibility? Is it the church's responsibility? Is it the community of Christian women who are following God's standard according to his word? Or should it be an individual experience, if your want it you have to get it for yourself? Who will stand against the often stated notion that the bible "wasn't written for this day and age? " Do we honestly think that God meant for his commandment for women to take care of their families only last during certain centuries? Are we to assume that the Prov 31 woman was only a example that had a 20th century expiration date?

I have heard from so many women that this simply isn't being taught in the church. Could it be because the more income a family has, the more tithes will be paid to the church? Or could it be a taboo sermon that will quickly get the pastor voted out? Could it be because no one is teaching the men that keepers at home doesn't equate laziness, and that you still have to treat your wife as Christ does the church? Or could it be that no one is pointing out how important we need our mamma's to be home to give hugs, kisses, advice, time, conversation and so much more? Who is exposing the invaluable worth in that?

I have so many questions and I have so much more that I would love to elaborate on, but unfortunately my lunch break is over and I must return back to work . If you get a chance check out the remainder of the dialogue over at Terry's place.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Who's to Blame?

I've been MIA the past couple of days ( no time to blog) and am back with a whole lot to say today. My good friends Terry and Mrs. Henderson have had the most interesting dialogue about the history behind the lack of African American keepers of the home. You can read both their post here and here. They were both 150% correct in their statements, and as a single mom as much as the truth burns it's still truth. Fact of the matter is, there are more opportunities for women of other races to stay at home than it is in our race. Why? Well because unfortunately we do have a phenomenally high rate of single parent homes. There is no one else to work and provide income. We are somewhat behind and not always educated on ways to make money from home so we can leave the workforce. I guess the question is who's to blame for this cycle?

Is it the sinful young woman and man who are both so bound by sin that they can't resist the temptation of fornication? Or is it the devil who is on his job to kill, steal, and destroy?
Is it the government with their welfare reform during the days of LBJ or slavery/Jim Crow because black women then were raised to be subservient to others more than they were to their own households? We all have heard the stories of the mammies, and the maids raising the "rich white folks children". ( no offense, just stating historical quotes)

Or is it the race to not be poor and the overwhelming flood of middle and upper class blacks who with all their hard work showed us that we can become educated and be viewed as first class citizens in America's class system ? We can send our sons and daughters to non HBCU's and Ivy league schools so that they can be a little more leveled on this un-leveled playing field. What about Affirmative Action that opened doors for black women to go to school/work and to obtain degrees/ promotions so that they could make a half way decent living, all the while either sending their children to day care and pre-school or forsaking family all together? And lets not forget the Civil Rights act that gave black men and women equal opportunity in advancing in and obtaining career status, again so they would not be poor and would grow to look down upon the people they no longer connect with.

Or is it gross negligence on the black churches who for some reason seem to be found on almost every corner sometimes an entire street and just shows the world how unified our infamous "Black Christian faith" really is? Or is it the demise of honest preachers and ministers truly living what they preach, and truly being called by God and not Seminary to preach? Nowadays the only thing people tend to go to church for is to pay the preacher who's house and bank account is full of filthy lucre to hear a feel good motivational sermon that can't last more than an hour or the church will start clock watching and vote him out, all the while we have a choir full of sinners who can sang now, and everyone is a part of some type of board or committee. Don't get mad at me yet, I am just speaking what is spoken and seen from the mouths and eyes of the sinner folk. No messages that really put bible judgment, no crying out against the sins, just a simple it's okay, you can do it over and over again and still God loves you- He knows your heart.

I firmly believe its a combination of all of the above. Mainly the latter! The church through black history has always played a pivotal role in the black community. I agree with both Terry and Mrs. Henderson that the problem lies with sin. But if someone tells you that you can repent of your sins, remain saved for the rest of your life, but still sin every so often because no man but Jesus can live sin free; why would you want salvation? Why would you want deliverance from sin, when the person selling you the deliverance is telling you you can't really be delivered? If no one is preaching and teaching the concept of the "keeper of the home" then how will future generations of young African American women desire it?

I will continue this post tomorrow but I want to ask a question. Isn't this being done? Can anyone see how hard it must be for a person to want to be saved but doesn't see any true example of salvation as the bible give us? Or are we promoting the sinners misconception of the church by part taking in a congregation who's testimony isn't what is should? And last but not least what have we done lately as Christian women to help these sinners that we talk about so much choose Christ and salvation?