Welcome To My Refuge Spot

Welcome Friends to my blog about single motherhood and living for God. I hope that you find my thoughts and musings thought provoking and in alignment with God's word. Thank you for visiting and please feel free to share your comments and pass the word along to others who you feel could be blessed!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Its Friday!!!

Well good friends, we have made it to another Friday/weekend. Whooo Hooo! Thank you so much for your advice yesterday and today as I type I am sipping on a bottle of water. I have made it a commitment to try and drink more water and to encourage my kids to do the same. My mother so graciously and bluntly pointed out in her comment yesterday that I need to change my not so healthy habits as my children are watching and listening. With that being said, I posted a video that was sent to me today that further served as a confirmation that I just need to get up and accept the changes I need to make. Children watch us, and they listen to us and eventually they become us. I want healthy daughters and I want to be around for them as long as I can. My body is not mine but the Lord's and I must take care of it even if it means drinking water when I would rather have a strong root beer :)
Have a glorious spring weekend. My boss has decided to be gracious and allow me to leave three hours early so that I can get some much needed wedding stuff done ( I am going to purchase my veil, hair piece and slip today!) and I am going to try and enjoy the beautiful April shower free weather that is predicted for us! Oh yeah, did anyone know that Mc Donald's has the cutest .24 micro mini kids cones? They don't advertise them, but if you ask for them they will make them for you. They look almost like sample cones, and my kids don't mind the size they have a blast laughing about how tiny they are. Just thought I would let you know in case you were looking for a way to spend a sunny weekend afternoon for less than a quarter per child.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Help Wanted

Okay I am going to run the risk of sounding vain and insecure, but I need help and advice from anyone who feels led to submit it on three detrimental ( in my mind) issues that I am facing. My wedding is less than two months away and I am having the most severe bout of acne. Part of the problem is I have really oily skin. Another part is I have a very nervous habit of putting my hands on my face when I am thinking and this causes me to break out in every spot my hand has touched, especially around my upper lip and chin area.I try so hard to keep my hands away from my face, but I feel like a child who can't stop sucking their thumb. I have tried almost everything on the market and am moving back towards Pro-Activ. I don't really like it but it does work, if you use it religiously. The moment you stop then its back to square one. Does anyone know of any type of natural yet inexpensive product that I can use???

Secondly, I need any cool advice on how to incorporate water into my diet. I hate it, I don't drink enough and I know that its a parallel to my acne problem. But I need some tips or something that I can use to help me stay motivated to drink more water

Last but not least, I now have a weight gain issue. They say love will make you gain weight. I say planning a wedding will make you gain weight. Every since I started taking a multivitamin from GNC with my prescription iron and 1300 mg of biotin, I have been starving. The biotin is actually working with growing my hair and making it stronger, but I believe everything else is increasing my appetite. All I do is eat. All day and its a hunger craving that I have never experience. I am gaining all of my weight in my stomach and with my size and frame it's very obvious. My clothes don't fit right and I just feel slouchy because if I try to move up a size some things fit too big in the wrong places and I look as if my clothes are just hanging off me.Or things look to tight in the tummy area and I start looking very first almost beginning of second trimesterish.
Yep, I even have people thinking I am getting married so soon because I am expecting. I am trying so hard to fit an exercise routine into my schedule but I just can't seem to squeeze the time in. The wedding has literally taken over my spare time. I tried on my dress the other day once my shoes came in ( BTW they are so cute) and all I could see was stomach pouch. I look eternally bloated. Is this nerves or what??? I mean I am not really overly concerned with appearance, but I am a woman and I do want to look good on my wedding day, or am I overreacting??

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Independent Lie

Single motherhood is synonymous with independence. For the past 8 years of my life, I have grown to be a fiercely independent woman. For the longest, I pretended that I really never wanted to be married. I didn't have to answer to anyone, could go and come as I please and I could be the driver of my own ship sort of speak and bible wifely submission was just a couple of words that churned my stomach acid. I remember just over a year ago, I was having a very candid debate about women being the weaker vessel equating women being weak. As most feminist, I was perpetrating, I was really lonely and envious and I desperately longed for a husband and family; but wanted to show the world that I wasn't waiting around to be rescued. Thankfully God saw how foolish and unlearned I sounded and he decided I needed a make-over.

So one day while surfing the web doing research on this topic of the "weaker vessel", I came across my first blog about biblical womanhood. That dear folks, is when my life changed. God began to deal with me through my research and through other blogs. I began to read how these other women were blissfully submissive and for whatever reason it registered with me. So I began to self search my feminist ways and figured out that I like most women my age was bamboozled by the perpetuating lie of the happy independent single woman (who just so happens to be a mom!) My independence had almost blinded me spiritually and my humility was at an all time low. And the whole weaker vessel thing, well I have a new outlook on that: It takes a strong person to accept a comfortable spot in being the weaker vessel, humbleness does not equate strength, it equates love and respect,honor and glory.

My friend Terry sums it up ever so nicely in her post yesterday about her relationship with her husband and how bible submission works in their home. As I read, I felt touched to share her post. Looking back a year later, I am so happy that I submitted my independence to the Lord. I am so happy that he revealed the miserable lie that I was living. As a reflection I can see how he had to lead me through blog land to read the personal testimonies of so many wise women, I wonder sometimes, if I had not had a willing heart or mind, how unhappy and deceived I would still be, I wouldn't be marrying the man He created for me in less than two months, my spiritual life wouldn't be as vibrant as it is, and I would have missed out on a wonderful life. I will post a small expert from her post. The rest you can read here.

"To answer your question: In order for the husband to lead in a marriage, the wife has to submit freely and voluntarily. The husband's ability to lead is more about the wife's willingness to obey Scripture than it is about his ability to force his own way. In the early years I'd pretend to submit while simply doing what I wanted without the hubby's knowledge. After the Lord convicted me, I confessed and committed to submit to my husband's authority."

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Can We Raise Spritually Vulnerable Children?

This morning while catching a glimpse of Good Morning America (watch it here) , I was able to see an interview conducted with the mothers in the midst of the Polygamy investigation. I must say that I was heartbroken. I promise I won't try to sound harsh and or judgmental, and will try my best to keep this short and sweet because what I feel for these women are a deep sense of sympathy. No loving mother deserves to have her child taken away from her, but I had to really ask myself if the mothers honestly realized if the environment was really a healthy environment for their children or a true Godly enviornment for that matter.

I must admit, it is really hard for me to grasp or think about raising my 8yr old daughter to be given to marriage at the age of 14, to a man thrice her age or more. I just simply can't imagine that and it makes me cry to even think about it. In watching the women in the interview it made me pray earnestly for Godly wisdom on how to raise my daughters not to be vulnerable to deception. I know that mainstream media classifies this church as a cult, and from the interview I saw I can see how and why they would think this; and personally I agree. I can't see a true minister of God wanting to procreate with young children and offspring especially when the bible speaks against it. I can't see a biblical mother giving her young daughter to be espoused to her father or any other man just because she is told to do so by any one other than God( and he wouldn't give instructions contrary to his word!). I may be wrong to some for saying it , but I just can't grasp it.

It is my heartfelt belief that we have to raise our children to be aware of scripture and to know and understand it for themselves. I see so often where children are raised in a Christian environment and they have a biblical doctrine fed to them from infancy but they don't fully know, digest, or understand the spiritual food that they are being fed. This type of misunderstanding is exactly what the enemy will use to sow seeds of biblical doubt and make it easier for our children to be deceived by strange doctrine ( Heb 13:9).

I also believe that sometimes we should be open minded and know what other religions and doctrines stand for however; our children may not be ready or mature enough to handle such knowledge. We must teach our children as God leads us, and not only teach them the doctrines and instructions given to us by and from God, we must teach them and show them how to develop and nurture their personal relationship with God so that they can know when the enemy is leading them astray. I have seen and known of people who were led into all kinds of false doctrines and its sad. It starts with a curiosity of other religions and then it becomes interesting, and then possibly leads to something darker than what they can handle and they become overthrown and lost sometimes. I'm not saying that its wrong to know about other religions and teachings, we just have to know undoubtedly where God wants us according to his will. It's sad to see someone practice the occult, or to be so wrapped up in man made religions that they fear and obey man before they fear and obey God and nothing in the practice is according to scripture.

I won't even pretend to know or desire to know anything about the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or say anything openly negative about its secular practices, I can only say that I offer my prayers to these women and children whose lives are completely torn upside down. If you think I am wrong, please let me know. I am just protective of the souls that I will be held accountable for. To know that I as a mother could be deceived into raising my children according to mans law and not God's is a scary, scary thought for me and I pray that I remain hidden under the mercy , grace and knowledge of his love. I want my children to be so close to God that if they see me living anything contrary to God's word that they can point it out and stand against it and help win me back to the straight and narrow.
Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Haven Challenge Anti Procrastination Day!

Crystal over at Biblical Womanhood has deemed today Anti- Procrastination Day and I don't even know where to start. I guess I will start by creating a list on all the things that I need to do and have not done yet since wedding planning has taken over my life temporarily . You can check out her post here!

Things I need to Do ( in no particular order)
  1. Organize Closets
  2. Donate clothing bags to Goodwill
  3. Donate Books to library or school
  4. My ever growing laundry pile
  5. My weekly menu's and sticking to them!
  6. Coupon Clipping
  7. Bathroom Re-organization
  8. Wedding Dress Alterations
  9. Purchasing Flower Girl Dresses
  10. Resuming my work-out schedule/plan
  11. Deep cleaning girls room
  12. Kitchen re-organization
  13. Apply for my replacement birth certificate for my marriage license
  14. Apply for marriage license
  15. Create a photo album with all the hundreds of pictures around our house
  16. Develop disposable camera film that is probably over two years old
  17. Developing anad sticking to our chore chart
  18. Developing and sticking to our household planner
  19. Develop extra homework/summer learning chart/wall for kids

My Rambling Thoughts on Rings and Things

note: my views today represent my own views on a topic that the Lord has given me specific direction and by no means is casting judgment or condemnation to others who don't agree.footprint graphic from art.com

Today while I was passing out invitations I was bombarded with the same question over and over again, "How big is your ring?""Where is your ring" I could feel the looks from some going from "happy for you" to "oh my ,what kind of man is he??"

Well, I don't have an engagement ring, and I don't wear jewelry. It's part of my biblical conviction and part of my deliverance. You see, I used to be one of those women who was very superficial and materialistic. I dated guys who I expected to shower me with trinkets who's meaning was just as superficial as our love/lust.
I know that may sound extreme to many but; I when I first stared battling with modesty I kept reading the scripture I Peter 3:1-5. God was then showing me what he required of me, once I accepted his word then this issue was no longer a battle for me. Also, once I really was healed of all of my hurt and pain from my past sinful life, and I started seeking God to prepare me for the man that he had for me, this particular passage of scripture kept coming to mind.

Before, I was everything opposite of a meek and quiet spirit and (I am still ever learning and perfecting this Godly attribute) and I so desperately wanted to have what this passage of scripture signifies. Still, I would have people say "that's crazy, God doesn't require all of that from you!" But you know what, he did and he still does because he showed it to me in scripture, and once he has shown you something for your good ( notice I said your) then you have to measure up.( Philippians 3: 13-15 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, 14 forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.)

I know that there are commandments that God expects all the world to uphold and there is no way around them, they are clear, concrete, and unarguable. However, I do believe that God knows each and every one of us, and when he delivers us into salvation he knows the things from our past which were/are strongholds, and just as he wanted Lot and his family to leave Sodom and Gomorrah without looking back he wants us to do the same. It could be so simple as and something that we don't see a sin, but it could be something that isn't pleasing to him.
That's the catch, we tend to think we have the right to say what is and what isn't pleasing to God, but what about what He thinks that isn't pleasing? We could very well have something in our lives that is no where near sin as we would categorize it, but God simply doesn't feel that it is a right fit in our relationship with him so he tells us to let it go, and we have to let it go. This is how it was for me with certain things concerning modesty. Not only did I let my makeup, jewelry, short skirts, colored nail polish, and pants go but I let all those things in my life that were not reflective of a meek and quiet spirit.

Now my answer to those pesky questions about my ring, well I know without and ounce of doubt that my FDH is the man created for me. I know confidently that our courtship was scripted by God, and our marriage will be fully ordained by God , and at this point and stage in my life I don't need a ring to validate or signify that for me. Seeing as nowadays a ring doesn't always really hold marital value in our modern day culture, I will be simply happy with knowing that my husband fears God and his fear for God will keep him in love with me and treating me according to how God ordains for the husband to treat his wife.For me, a piece of metal does not make me more or less married than the next person. This may not be the case for others but its no more/ no less for me.
Be Blessed and Encouraged!