Welcome To My Refuge Spot

Welcome Friends to my blog about single motherhood and living for God. I hope that you find my thoughts and musings thought provoking and in alignment with God's word. Thank you for visiting and please feel free to share your comments and pass the word along to others who you feel could be blessed!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Independent Lie

Single motherhood is synonymous with independence. For the past 8 years of my life, I have grown to be a fiercely independent woman. For the longest, I pretended that I really never wanted to be married. I didn't have to answer to anyone, could go and come as I please and I could be the driver of my own ship sort of speak and bible wifely submission was just a couple of words that churned my stomach acid. I remember just over a year ago, I was having a very candid debate about women being the weaker vessel equating women being weak. As most feminist, I was perpetrating, I was really lonely and envious and I desperately longed for a husband and family; but wanted to show the world that I wasn't waiting around to be rescued. Thankfully God saw how foolish and unlearned I sounded and he decided I needed a make-over.

So one day while surfing the web doing research on this topic of the "weaker vessel", I came across my first blog about biblical womanhood. That dear folks, is when my life changed. God began to deal with me through my research and through other blogs. I began to read how these other women were blissfully submissive and for whatever reason it registered with me. So I began to self search my feminist ways and figured out that I like most women my age was bamboozled by the perpetuating lie of the happy independent single woman (who just so happens to be a mom!) My independence had almost blinded me spiritually and my humility was at an all time low. And the whole weaker vessel thing, well I have a new outlook on that: It takes a strong person to accept a comfortable spot in being the weaker vessel, humbleness does not equate strength, it equates love and respect,honor and glory.

My friend Terry sums it up ever so nicely in her post yesterday about her relationship with her husband and how bible submission works in their home. As I read, I felt touched to share her post. Looking back a year later, I am so happy that I submitted my independence to the Lord. I am so happy that he revealed the miserable lie that I was living. As a reflection I can see how he had to lead me through blog land to read the personal testimonies of so many wise women, I wonder sometimes, if I had not had a willing heart or mind, how unhappy and deceived I would still be, I wouldn't be marrying the man He created for me in less than two months, my spiritual life wouldn't be as vibrant as it is, and I would have missed out on a wonderful life. I will post a small expert from her post. The rest you can read here.

"To answer your question: In order for the husband to lead in a marriage, the wife has to submit freely and voluntarily. The husband's ability to lead is more about the wife's willingness to obey Scripture than it is about his ability to force his own way. In the early years I'd pretend to submit while simply doing what I wanted without the hubby's knowledge. After the Lord convicted me, I confessed and committed to submit to my husband's authority."

Be Blessed and Encouraged!