Welcome To My Refuge Spot

Welcome Friends to my blog about single motherhood and living for God. I hope that you find my thoughts and musings thought provoking and in alignment with God's word. Thank you for visiting and please feel free to share your comments and pass the word along to others who you feel could be blessed!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Falling In Love God's Way

I shared with you in my Frugal Friday post how my FDH and I like to spend time eating nice romantic dinners on my balcony while still maintaining our godly standards. Well on Monday while taking advantage of Hobby Lobby's 50% off all Bridal sale, I found this cute little tea set that was also 50% off. I ran home to set up the table to surprise him with dinner after he got off work and his first response was, "You should take a picture to put on your blog!" So here goes our simple, godly romantic meal. I took a package of beef smoked sausage, sauteed them with french fried onions and put them on french bread that was baked with garlic spread and pepper jack cheese, throw on some nice spinach and add ramen noodles as a side and you have the perfect frugal but manly man meal.

See my nice little tea set, so cute to me!!!

beef smoked sausage sandwiches n ramen noodles very frugal and filling!

The nice thing is that when we are old, we can sit back and laugh at how during our courtship we found creative ways to enjoy each other's company that did not cross the will and word of God. It's so much easier to fall more and more in love with a person that you know was created for you for God and by God. There's no stress, no insecurities, no pressure just plain old enjoying the freedom of a love that was and is directly from the finger of God.

I am finding it refreshing to know that I am not alone in my belief about a pure path to happiness. I think about all of the wasted time and energy that goes into the creative ways of worldly dating. A man spends an average of $50-$100 for dinner and entertainment just to impress a girl on a first date, which leads to more dates that are just as costly. Eventually he realizes that he has made an investment in this particular young woman and she senses it. Suddenly there is this unspoken, sometimes spoken pressure to get a return on his investment by sleeping with each other. One or two, maybe three things happens.... he either doesn't respect or call her again, he falls in lust with her and sees long term relationship potential, or he enjoys the for now moments and rides it out to see how long it will last. I'm not putting all of the blame on the guys either, women now days are just as bold and brassy. Some women feel that they have to give a return on the first date investment. She may get halfway into the date and become mesmerized by the possibility of a potential future and feels she needs to show her worth now, to reserve her spot in his heart. Other women feel like, Hey, I just want to enjoy the moment and see what happens. Either way it goes, there is little or no really getting to know a person. No truthful talking, no soul searching, no honestly showing yourself to a person. But then again, how could there be. The relationship isn't even close to being on a Godly level.

Matter of factly speaking, its a relationship, not a courtship so that in itself explains the reason behind all the heartaches, and confusion. I was trying to explain the difference to a person and I wanted to share with you what I shared with them. Some may already know and some may not. Either way I hope I share one thing with one person that will change their point of view away from worldly dating, and seek to share in the beauty of a Godly courtship and engagement. It's the only way. I just thank God that I am able to experience this blessing in my lifetime, and look forward to preparing my daughters for this blessed way.

Webster's definition of relationship is:
relationship: the state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings. b: a romantic or passionate attachment.

Now lets look at Webster's definition of courtship:
courtship: to seek the affections of; especially to seek to win a pledge of marriage from. b: to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage.

In a courtship there is no pressure to snag a husband, or race to the alter because when God sends you that special someone, he will be your husband, not your boyfriend. It's not a romantic or passionate attachment as given in the relationship. He will approach you marriage already in mind, and best of all, as long as your heart is hid in Christ, you will have full confidence that he has been proved worthy to find you, because he had to go through Christ to FIND you! It's not a romantic or passionate attachment as given in the relationship. It's forever, its final, the beginning of togetherness. Have a blessed day and stay encouraged!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Making Your Home a Haven Challenge- I NEED YOUR HELP!!

pink bedroom graphic from art.com

I was reading through blog land today and came across Crystal's Making Your Home A Haven Challenge. The theme this week is Spring Cleaning The Master Bedroom. I thought I would join the challenge as I haven't participated in a while. Also , being that I have to de-clutter and re-organize to make room for my FDH in the next few months I want to solicit advice because I have never had a two adult bedroom. We both figured that my apartment was larger so we would stay there for a year and plan for a house.

The first thing I know I have to tackle is my closet. The next being my outrageous shoe collection and the third being my multi-use bathroom. I am a walking women's cliche', I absolutely adore shoes. They are my weakness. I am also an avid consignment shopper plus as I mentioned in an earlier post, because of my size I always get the pickings from those kind folks who down size their wardrobes. And my bathroom is a multi purpose room, I don't even know why the girls have a bathroom because they seem to be so attracted to mine! To top it all off, my FDH is also just as much as ,if not more of a consignment junkie than I am so his closet will also need to be pared down, ( unbeknownst to him!)

When I envision my master bedroom as a married woman vs a single mom, I don't even know where to begin. Maybe you can help me. I am so used to my room being an end all be all for me and my girls. Everything starts and stops in mommy's room. So the concept of a two adult bedroom is very new to me. I know what I like but then I guess I have to let him add a little bit of his style and ideas to our room. All and all I need help with small room organization. I don't want a messy bedroom, but what do you do with limited space?? Storage is out of the question for me because I feel that if you put clothes away in storage for a while, then you may as well give them away because you aren't wearing them anyway.

I know I want a peaceful haven of relaxation, happiness, oneness, openness and feminine beauty in my master bedroom. I want it to be the place that we both look forward to spending quality time in. No not just for the physical, but for the complete oneness of our relationship. I want it to be holy and peaceful and fun. So I guess I will start by minimizing the clutter of my closest, and getting rid of all of the outfits that I haven't worn in like two full seasons. Maybe brighten it up and make it look cheerful. Take the bathroom and separate the hair bows, and half-empty bottles of all the different lotions and sprays that I have. I don't know where to start but I know I don't have much time, so I am soliciting advice from anyone who's willing to help!!!!! What minimum cost methods have you used for maximizing space and organization. ( besides rubbermaid bins ;), also what kind of decorating tips can you offer that blend both personalities in one room.