Welcome To My Refuge Spot

Welcome Friends to my blog about single motherhood and living for God. I hope that you find my thoughts and musings thought provoking and in alignment with God's word. Thank you for visiting and please feel free to share your comments and pass the word along to others who you feel could be blessed!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Should A Single Mom Date??

I wanted to share a question with you that I have been asked countless times recently. " You're a beautiful girl, why don't you date?" So I pose the question Should single mothers date? My answer NO!

Some may ask why? "Its a lonely life being a single mom, I just want someone to talk to other than the kids, or sometimes I just want adult attention". This is a very valid and understandable point, but as someone who believes in and values biblical courtship for the sole purpose of marrying the mate that God has for you; dating just doesnt fit into the paremeters of my belief system.

Now, I will be the first to admit that in my sinner days, I used to date. Matter of factly so, I was in a very serious off and on again relationship for a number of years that in fact led me as far away from marriage as possible. Was it an experience that was healthy for my children? Absolutely not! Did it leave me with scars that I am still in the healing process from? Yes it did. Would I want my daughters to date? Captial NO!

Casual dating in no way provides a healthy enviorment for your children or your sprituality. As women of God if you date, you give your time, energy,emotions and possibly other pieces of you that God intends for you to give to the husband that he has for you.You are not hiding your precious soul in him. You're not waiting to be found. You are test driving, testing the waters, kissing the frogs to find your prince. Basically you are idolizing your lonliness and desire for a mate and putting God somewhere on your list besides number one. Not to mention the picture that you paint for your children as they see you visit, or date person after person while you seek Mr. Right.

As we all know, children are like sponges. They absorb everything they see and what we don't know they see. After overhearing my daughters talk about how they wanted thier boyfriends ( not husbands) to treat them, I knew that it was time for me to get my act together and let the Lord direct this area of my life.

Was it easy to forsake dating and sit still and trust in God? In the beginning I thought it was, BUT only because of my mindset. I did not go into my relationship with God putting him first and being patient. I had to get to a point where I saw the ugliness of dating and the beauty of a bible courtship. Once I saw the blessing of the possiblity of God blessing me with a mate vs a for-now I was sold. I was sold over entirely to God and his direction for my future. Who better to pick a spouse than the person who created your equal?

The best thing is that my beautiful daughters are able to see their mommy totally trusting and leaning on God and not a man. Conversations went from boyfriends to God sent husbands. I actually cried when I heard my oldest say that "she wanted God to send her a husband because husbands are better than boyfriends". Even thought I don't have sons, I have nephews and I want them to see that Godly men find wives. Not partners, or one night stands, or girl friends or anything that does not resemble the purity and holiness of a God ordained relationship/marriage.

Well let me correct that last statement, God does not ordain relationships, he ordains marriges. For the sake of time, I will post a part two tomorrow Lord willing, but today I want to leave you with a saying that a friend of mine gave me. I used to keep this saying on my cubicle wall. Be blessed and stay encouraged- smfg

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man will have to seek him first to find her.- author unknown.