Dating Part II

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man will have to seek him first to find her.- author unknown

First I apologize in advance for the length of this post today, second, I wanted to thank all of you who commented and e-mailed me about my post yesterday on Should A Single Mom Date. I recieved a couple of personal emails that really got me to thinking about how to broaden my post on this topic. I prayed about it and I feel that God would have me to re-direct my post to this direction.

Yesterday's topic of single mothers' dating is just one facet of how passionate I feel about the subject of dating. Protecting our children from this stronghold is where the core heat of my fire burns for this topic. As a teenager I did not date. I was not allowed. As you can read in my profile I was raised in a very Godly home. Both of my parents were on one accord about the subject of dating. However, the peer pressure that I recieved as school was overwhelming. When I reached my senior year, I did openly with permission date one person. I knew I was leaving home soon and I believe that my parents felt that I needed to know how to conduct myself aound the opposite sex. I believe that my parents knew this young man loved me and he wanted to marry me. However, once I got into the real world the options for exploring the possiblity were a little overwhelming and I forgot about the young man who wanted to marry me. If we could do it all over again, we would have probably stuck with the no- dating rule. I was not ready for worldly dating. Trust me I have the battle scars to prove it. I wish there had been more discipline there in keeping my mind off boys. God is so good though, to give me a life experience handbook to use for my children.

While we can look back and talk about things now, I learned did not have that relationship with my parents to where I talked about my overwhelming feelings back then. This my dear sisters is important. I was a child of the 80's and early 90's and life was a lot simpler then, I don't think I could have survived in the mid 90's and this new millennium as a teenager. I cry for what my girls will possibly deal with even further into the future. Everything now is so cyber driven. Puppy love has gone from 10 page letters full of song lyrics, and tasteful walks down the hall to each other's lockers, to full fledge racy camera phone pictures and walking through the corridors with hands shoved in each other's back pocket! We won't even talk about the other ungodly disgraceful things kids do right infront of adults with not even an inkling of shame.

I did not have these strong holds growing up. There is no such thing as the base system anymore. There is no such thing as simple teddy bears and balloons and candy. Teenagers these days are planning families from the first kiss. Where are they getting this from? DATING! There are actually little girls who have full meltdowns when they are dumped! No child should ever have that much stress over another child. It's so sad to see these children come into adulthood emotionally scarred from a teenage relationship that has adult intensity.

Our culture has grasped on to dating and just taken if for a wild ride. Almost every television station has some sort of reality show that gives this false idea to adults and children alike that you can meet and fall in love by going through a house full of women and men or even both. When they look around all they see really is casual love, or should I say lust. Even parents of young children make a big to do about the first date at ages anywhere from 14-16. This must stop! There is no message being sent of sitting still and waiting for the right mate to be sent to you by God. I am pretty sure that this subject has been beaten to death but as women of God I feel that it is our duty to wave the banner of bible pricipals and virtures concerning interaction with the opposite sex.

It burdens me when I see little boys and girls playing together and grown ups automatically label them as boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not cute, its a seed planted in an innocent mind. From the time our children are born, we should start praying for the mate that God has for them. We should teach them to pray early and ask God to help them with thier feelings. Pray for the purity of thier hearts and emotions. Teach them that liking someone is okay as long as it is a friend, but when you feel different just come and talk to mommy and /or daddy about it. Most of all listen to them. Children are going to have crushes, our job as parents is to teach them to overcome those emotions.Teach them how to crush the crush.

If there is no communication about dating, courtship, marrige, crushes, puppy love, lust ect.. in your home please trust me when I tell you that the world outside your four walls has more communication that you and I could ever imagine. Heather Paulsen wrote a book and has a blog titled Emotional Purity. I would urge you to check both out. I am purchasing the book and posting a review on my blog.

I still have so much more to say but I will stop here. Have a wonderful weekend -smfg